painting faces and throwing punches

I got another email today from a prospective HALT-MS trial candidate, also fighting insurance. It's really good to be able to be in contact with other people in this clinical trial. I wish that there was a way for all the past, current, and future patients to get in contact with each other. We need to start a stem cell transplant multiple sclerosis support group! It's funny, 16 months out, I'm starting to feel like a veteran!

I have to write about something that happened with Mosey a few weeks ago. It was during his 2nd to last soccer game, during the few minutes of practice that they do before the game. There was another boy on his team, "Miguel" who was quite a handful. Very energetic, shall we say. I was watching from the sideline and see Mosey and Miguel start getting into an argument.
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
Miguel: "Yes!"
Mosey: "No!"
At first I thought they were just playing, because it was so ridiculous. But then Miguel got right up into Mosey's face and yelled, "AAAAAAHHHH!!" And what did Mosey do? Exactly what he has been trained to do as the youngest of 3 brothers-- he punched him. He punched him in the chest, so it could have been worse (visions of black eyes, bloody noses, and split lips flashed before my eyes), but I was horrified. Miguel started crying and ran to his mom. I yelled at Mosey to get off the field. He came to me, almost in tears himself. He began, "Mom, he was yelling at me and--" but I cut him off and said, "I know, Mosey, I know, I saw him. But it doesn't matter that he was yelling, you NEVER hit another person, no matter what they say to you! It's never ok to hit like that!" We had a quick, extremely serious talk and I told him he had to go over and apologize to Miguel or he wouldn't be allowed to play. Mosey was good and walked over there with his head down and said, "I'm sorry for hitting you," and then ran back.
Afterward, I asked what they had been fighting about. I didn't ask him right away, because I didn't want him to get the idea that it *mattered* what they had been fighting about. Mosey said, "He said that after the game he was going to come and paint my face!!"
Ha! Can you believe it? I had to try not to laugh. I told Mosey that he needed to stop and think about things before getting into an argument. Was there any way that Miguel could paint his face? Would Miguel's mom let him? Would I let someone do that to Mosey? If not, then the best thing to do would have been to ignore him and walk away.
Mosey was pretty upset and defensive for the next few minutes, and almost got into another altercation. A few of the kids on his team were running around and "tagging" each other. Another little boy ran up behind Mosey and "tagged" him, and Mosey whirled around and I was very worried he was going to attack again! But he got control of himself and didn't do it. Good boy.
It's always interesting to me to see how differently my boys react in certain situations compared to how I would have acted. When I was 5, if another little girl had come up and started yelling at me like that, I would have started crying and run away, not hit her! Still, I don't want to entirely squash any instinct that Mosey has to protect himself. If Miguel had started hitting Mosey, I would have been ok with Mosey throwing a punch as well.