Real life snapshot: Bedtime tonight

Ben was at an Elders Quorum meeting tonight, so I was on my own for bedtime.
Usually, all three boys sleep together in the king-sized bed in the upstairs TV room. It's not the greatest situation, but they insist.
After baths and PJ's and teeth brushing, all done very cooperatively I might add, they headed upstairs to bed. Normally Ben will go up there and sit in the hallway and work on his laptop while they settle down and go to sleep. However, Ben wasn't there, and while the cat's away, the mice will play.
After about 5 minutes, Brigham came out onto the landing and said that Joseph and Mosey were talking or moving about or doing something or other that was preventing him from sleeping.
Now, granted, Brigham does have a tendency toward tattling, simply because he has a very exact, law-abiding personality. But I'm also known to yell from downstairs in a very mean voice, "BE QUIET RIGHT NOW!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER SOUND!!" I'm serious about bed time, and he knows it.
Well, Joseph, sort of understandably, but also not, started calling out, "Brigham's tattling, Brigham's tattling!"
This made Brigham extremely angry. Here he is being blamed for trying to do the correct thing, at least that's how he views it.
Well, like two angry dogs, the two boys fell upon each other, and I heard Brigham crying out, "HE'S STRANGLING ME!" then a bunch of scuffling, then a loud slam, and then Joseph starting to cry in that breathless, really-hurt sort of way. All of this in the space of about 10 seconds or less.
Brigham was standing motionless on the landing. I asked him what happened. "He was strangling me, so I slammed the door." Then, in a terrible voice from inside the TV room I hear Joseph cry, "HE BROKE MY FOOT!!!" His foot was not broken. Joseph sometimes has a flair for the dramatic.
Hmm. What to do. There are no good guys here. I ordered all three boys to sleep in different rooms (there are 3 bedrooms upstairs). Brigham was pretty contrite and went into the far bedroom at the end of the hall ("Joseph's room," although he rarely sleeps there). Mosey said he can't sleep in Joseph's room or in his room because they smell like Squirrel poop. I told him that his room doesn't smell like Squirrel poop because it was all cleaned up very thoroughly a week ago. So then he said, "I can't sleep in rooms that smell like chemicals!" So I told him I didn't care if he slept, he could just lay on the bed and be quiet, and that was good enough for me. Then he said, "I can't lay on the bed in here, there are no blankets!"
Anyway, finally after blankets were located, Arctie rescued from the TV room, and a few more hissed, "GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW"s from me downstairs, things were quiet.
I love it when we end the day on such a pleasant and happy note. :-)