No more IV's

Quick update since I'm determined to get to bed really early tonight.

I'm done with the Solumedrol, thank goodness. Just like last time, the IV went bad just before my last dose, so I had to have the nurse come back and place another IV for the last dose. Ugh. I am getting used to it, though. I still find it creepy having this plastic catheter floating around inside my vein. I can't think about it too much or it starts to gross me out.

I'm definitely seeing improvement in my legs. It is gratifying to have positive signs so quickly. My strength is already much, much better. I was able to be up and about in my kitchen making dinner tonight. Ahh, the little things!

The Solumedrol just gives such nasty side effects. I'm resolved to start eating really well again, to try to cleanse my system, not only of the steroids, but from all the junk I've been eating just to "get myself through." Sugar cravings galore! Not a good thing. I went to the store and loaded up on fresh fruits and vegetables and tonight we had a pretty healthy dinner of brocolli and black bean burritos. Then I ruined it by making bread pudding for dessert, but I only had a small piece. I really need to be accountable, I just can't take the emotional upset the steroids gives me, PLUS the self-loathing I develop when I'm undisciplined in my eating. It's funny how our minds play tricks on us. I tell myself, "You're going through all this awful stuff with the steroids, you should just give yourself a break and have that bowl of ice cream," and it makes perfect sense, and so I do, and then afterwards I think, "You're going through all this awful stuff with the steroids, why did you just go make yourself feel WORSE by eating that bowl of ice cream??" There's no good way to logic myself through the steroid madness, so I just need to set clear ground rules for myself, and stick with them no matter what my brain tells me. Including going to bed early, so I really must make this fast.

Last night I was putting together Brigham's VIP poster and really got myself in a really bad mental place. I won't bore you by it, but I ended up literally not sleeping at ALL last night. So Ben stayed home from work today and took care of Mosey while I got some sleep upstairs. But I am still quite behind, and sleep deprivation is the last thing I need.

We went on the Crop Walk on Saturday. It was pretty fun, although the boys got a little tired and whiny by the end. Ben and I just had to laugh because we had been telling them about little children who must walk several miles each day just to carry water for their families. Boy, wouldn't we all have to toughen up really darn quick!

Ben has been teaching Brigham and Joseph to play Civilization and Sim City on the computer, and I guess they are getting pretty adept. It was fun on Saturday to sit at the kitchen table and listen to Ben explain to Brigham how if he raises the taxes in his city too high, everyone will leave and he'll actually end up with less money for his city. Don't you love early indoctrination? :-)

We went to the Colemans' house for dinner last night, and they have a Labradoodle (half lab, half poodle). Mosey was entranced by this dog. She is very intelligent (as you might expect by the mix) and could do all sorts of tricks, including... FETCH!! Mosey was in heaven. I think that is his dearest dream-- to teach Mister to play fetch. Saturday night I was laying in bed with all three boys watching a program on Animal Planet called "It's me or the dog," which is about really, REALLY badly behaved dogs, and a trainer who comes in a tries to rescue the situation. Like Nanny 911, dog style. Anyway, we watched a couple of episodes and I decided to forgive Mister for his bad behavior last week regarding the lunch meat. Really, he is a very, very good dog, all things considered. And maybe it's a good thing to have animals around to be a little buffer zone between my irrational outbursts and my children? That's probably not a very good reason to have pets. Anyway, I'm not mad at him anymore.

Ben talked with the UHC transplant nurse today (while I was sleeping) and she told him her paperwork is all done and submitted to the appropriate committee and that they will probably meet on Friday. She made no promises but said that they might be making a decision then. Whether that decision is to go ahead and approve me, or to send my case to some committee above them or to the employer review, I'm not sure, but at least it will be another step down that path. I'm anxious to get this show on the road, but I'm also getting a little scared, so it's hard to know what to think. I guess I'm ok with just waiting things out for the moment.

Rachel, I hope you have an awesome birthday tomorrow! My twins were 9 days old when I turned 24. Gosh, that seems like a long time ago. But anyway, 24 was one of my very best years ever, and I hope it will be for you, too. I was very, very happy that year. I hope you have sunshine and lots of people who remember your birthday. I'll always remember being 7 years old and really ticked off that the nurses wouldn't let me (or the rest of us kids) go see you and Jacob in mama's hospital room, the day after you were born. So I didn't see you on the day you were born, I think it was 4 days later, actually. But I do remember the weird snow-storm we had that night you were born. We made snowballs and kept them in the freezer for a while. I probably have told you this story lots of times but I like to remember specifics about the births of each one of my siblings, and that's the memory I have of the night of your birth. You were such a beautiful baby. I felt sorry for Jacob because he was so homely compared to you (but I never would have said so at the time). I felt so lucky to have TWIN babies in my family. And I still feel so very lucky to have you and Jacob in our family. I am not sure we would really recognize our family in the absence of the profound effect Jacob has had on all of us. And you are such an important bridge between siblings, not just between the "older kids" and the "younger kids," but I think in temperament also. You bridge some of the more polarizing personalities in our family in a really important way. I miss you so much and I hope someday we can live close to each other. Have you looked into any graduate programs at the University of Texas? :-)

Anyway, happy birthday my dear, beloved sister.

And that's it. Don't you love how "short" my "short" updates are??