Thanksgiving Madness

Sunset over the Sonoran Desert



Beautiful Sonoran landscape



Silly boys pretending to poke the barell cactus


Ok, so we are back from our trip to Arizona! We had a great time. We stayed at Ben's twin sister's house in Gilbert. She has a 4 1/2 year old daughter who I think was in heaven with all these crazy boys to play with for a week. Josie, the 9 month old, tolerated our presence pretty well.
The drive out wasn't too bad, it's about 15 hours drive time. We left Friday night, drove about 3 hours and then stayed the night in a pretty yucky motel in the middle of nowhere, and then drove the rest of the way Saturday, arriving at Angee's house at about 9:30PM AZ time. Only one glitch on the way there when we got pulled over just outside of El Paso. The speed limit changed from 80 to 70, but silly us, we decided to stay with the flow of traffic, and subsequently got pulled over and got a nice little speeding ticket. Ben was very, very annoyed. But that's one of the hidden costs of road trips, and still far less expensive than 5 plane tickets. Plus Ben still hasn't gotten his TX driver's license, so this ticket will stay with his FL license and should therefore not result in any increased insurance rates. One time when procrastination really paid off!
Sunday we went to church with Angee's family, then met Reuben and Raegan's new little baby boy (Reuben is Ben's oldest brother), and then went over to Tracie's house to see her and her little kids. Not so little anymore actually! Tracie is Ben's older sister who also lives in Gilbert. She has 5 kids ranging from 15 down to 2. Her two year old is the most verbally precocious little 2 year old I've ever met. I think he speaks better than I do.
Monday Angee and I took the boys to this fun little train park where the kids rode on a little train and then took a ride on the Carousel. They also played in the playground and got incredibly dirty playing in some mud. Ahhh, boys...
Tuesday we went to the Sonoran Desert museum, which isn't exactly a museum. Kind of a cross between a desert botanical garden and a zoo. It is in the Sonoran national park outside of Tucson and it was incredibly beautiful. We got to see hawks, bobcats, a black bear, coatis, foxes, some other kinds of wild cats, a variety of snakes and lizards and spiders, a bunch of birds in the net-enclosed aviary, and assorted other desert animals. Poor Mosey wet his pants on the way over so he toured the whole place in a t-shirt and diaper since we had no change of clothes for him. Poor guy. The pictures above are from that outing.
Wednesday we hung out at Angee's house and the kids played outside and removed approximately 50% of the rocks from the rock border around her back lawn, placing them in huge piles on the back patio. I'm not sure why they did this, but it sure provided hours of fun for the kids. We went to Tracie's house in the afternoon where they met up with their Utah cousins and generally wreaked havoc on the Hancock household.
Thursday was Thanksgiving of course, which we spent doing the usual Thanksgiving thing-- eating absurd amounts of delicious food. And wreaking more havoc on Tracie's house. Tracie and her family JUST moved into their house 2 weeks ago. It's definitely broken in now. In the afternoon I took family pictures for everyone, including a big-group shot, and a grandkids-only shot, both of which were... interesting. At least they documented that everyone was there at the same place at the same time. I haven't opened those up yet, but I'm sure they turned out cute. After pictures we went to see the Bee Movie which was a fun outing although I don't think we'll be rushing out to buy that DVD when it comes out.
Friday all the cousins and their parents went to the Phoenix zoo. This is a nice little zoo which my kids enjoyed a lot. They got to go on a Camel ride with Ben. It was pretty funny to see all 3 boys and Ben crammed up on top of one Camel. But it was fun for them and I'm sure something they will remember. At least, I hope so, since I didn't bring my camera! (D'oh!)
Saturday we got up, hung out for a while at Tracie's, eating a delicious pancake breakfast, and then packed up our stuff and were on our way. We stopped at Grandpa and Grandma Hansen's house near Benson, and the boys got treated to a dune buggy ride and grandpa's famous mesquite smoked turkey. It was worth the detour just for the turkey.
Ben was feeling quite ill, he came down with a horrible sore throat and cough which he battled all week, and Saturday was the worst of it I think. He was anxious to get home ASAP and drove all the way to El Paso that night.
We stayed in a hotel, and then woke up to snow! We toured El Paso a little, driving down the highway that runs right along the border with Mexico. It was pretty surreal to see Super Target, Office Depot, Khols, and other typical American stores on one side of the highway, and dirt roads and tin shacks beyond the razor wire fences and border patrol trucks on the other side.
It was cold and snowy for quite a while out of El Paso. We let the boys get out and play in the snow for a while after much begging. Then it was the long, long drive across west Texas. The boys did remarkably well considering the long ride. A few moments of misbehavior, but altogether, they were incredibly good, listening to most of Harry Potter book 6, and watching Shrek 3 and Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone on the DVD player we borrowed.
The last adventure of our trip was when we were only about an hour away from home. Mosey had to go to the bathroom so we pulled over to the side of the road to let him relieve himself. Little did we know it had rained heavily the day before (must have been the same storm system that dumped snow across El Paso), and sure enough, we got stuck in the mud. Ben tried mightily to get us out for about 45 minutes, with no luck. I called the highway patrol and they came with a tow truck, but it was going to cost us $140 just to get pulled out of the mud. Luckily a teenage boy stopped to see if we needed help. He went and got his girlfriend's father who had a 4 wheel drive pickup and a tow rope, and he got us out of there in about 3 minutes, for free. Texans are so nice. So we made it home last night around 10:30, muddy and tired, but home!
Mister was VERY happy to see us. He caused us some stress during the week as he broke a hole in the fence and escaped a few times. But nice neighbors brought him back, and then Ben's friend Eddie came and got him and closed the dog door so he couldn't get back out. We had ward members come and feed our fish, and they let him outside once a day for the last few days.
Today the boys went to school and Ben and I took care of a bunch of errands and saw my doctor. I'm most likely going to be admitted back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon or Wednesday morning. We'll do another 5 day round of Solumedrol, plus some more MRI's and other tests to see what the heck is going on. I'm completely unable to walk now and I can feel the spinal effects moving up my spinal cord day by day. So we need to put a stop to this. I'm getting pretty adept at getting around in a wheelchair, and Ben is really building up his picking-wife-up-and-transferring-to-bed-car-bath-whatever-else-she-needs muscles. At the hospital I'll also have rehab people coming in to help me figure out a few things I am pretty much stumped about. Like how to pull my pants up when I need both arms to hold my body up. I'm sure there must be some method but gosh darned if I can figure it out. My ward is really stepping up to the plate. I've been home one day and I have had 6 different people stopping by or calling to find out how they can help. So I'm not worried about making arrangements for my boys over the next few days which is a HUGE stress lifted from our shoulders.
Anyway, that's all the news that fit to print over the last week or so. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Now we can all start playing Christmas music!!

update, update, update...

Hello Everyone,
Sorry I've been absent for so long from my email updates. I know you all have just been missing them SOOOO much, right? Right??
Things have been all right. The boys are doing great. Brigham and Joseph got their TKD green belts last night, which means they get to move up to the higher classes with some of the more advanced students, and they get to start sparring, which should be interesting! Last week, or maybe 2 weeks ago (can't remember now) Brigham got the Principal's Pride award for Curiosity. He was so cute up there, very serious. I was really happy he got this award, and so soon after Joseph got his. Things get so tricky with twins! I did notice that Brigham is almost the smallest in his class. But not really because he's particularly small, but mostly because there are some HUGE boys in his class!!! Probably some boys born in the summer whose parents held them back, so they could be more than a year older than Brigham. I guess that makes a big difference at his age. Anyway, it doesn't bother him in the least (he doesn't notice), but it was interesting to observe.
That same day Joseph had to bring in peanut butter for a class activity about "peanut butter words." Like the "layer cake words," Joseph really enjoyed the activity, and eating the results, but really didn't have a clue as to what was trying to be demonstrated by the activity. Oh well!
Mosey is still really in to reading. I haven't video'd him yet (what is the proper verb for making a digital video recording? Video-taped isn't correct, recorded isn't right either...), but mama can vouch for how well he is doing. I promise I'm not an obnoxious mom that is pushing him into it, he just seems to be really enjoying it so far. I know it's just because of all the time I spend with Joseph and Brigham reading, Mosey wants in on it too. For him, reading and spelling are a fun game.
He has left Sunshine bear in his backpack since preschool on Monday. Maybe he's moving out of the Sunshine bear stage? I'm not sure.
On Monday night I did some singing practice with the boys, having them practice matching pitch. After observing them in the Primary program, where Brigham was very enthusiastically singing, and very enthusiastically not even attempting to match pitch, I decided to see if he could actually do it. It was pretty funny. He can match pitch often enough that I know he's not tone deaf. But he doesn't really know how to control his voice very well yet. He can identify if I'm singing a note that is higher or lower than another, but he has a hard time raising and lowering his own voice to find a particular tone. Joseph can do it pretty well. Mosey didn't really get the point of the whole activity, although just from hearing him sing songs to himself, I think he can *sort of* carry a tune. But none of my kids are virtuoso singers at this point. I am comforted, though, because I distinctly remember Brigham and Benjamin as little boys, being completely unable to carry a tune, and they both grew to be very good singers. Brigham's son Elijah (I'm talking about my little brother Brigham here, not my son, obviously) is a REALLY good little singer. He's just 2 and he can carry a tune extremely well, and memorizes songs. It is so adorable to hear him. My kids are just as adorable (mommy bias), but not such musical prodigies as Elijah!
Mama came last Saturday to help me out. She surprised me by calling Friday night and announcing that she was coming in on a flight Saturday afternoon. So Saturday Ben took the big boys to Sea World to use up our 2nd day pass from last summer. It was undoubtedly the last warm Saturday of the year, as a warm front came in that day and warmed things up again until last night when it got cold again. Well, cold for us here in Austin anyway. Mosey had a birthday party so he and I did not go. I was not up for going to Sea World in any case, so Mosey and I had a good time getting a present (he picked out a little "My fur-real pet" lamb), and enjoying a princess (and prince) birthday party. There were 11 little princesses and 2 princes. Mosey really enjoyed hunting in the sand box for jewels, and the gluing them on his crown. He made himself a bead necklace (the little girl's mom very thoughtfully provided a selection of "manly" beads including battle ships, safari animals, stars, and other non-sparkly beads), and loved watching Ana Mei blow out the candles on her Disney Princess Castle birthday cake. I figure Mosey will still happily attend princess birthday parties for at least another year or so, right?
Mama came and whipped things into shape around here the past 5 days. Seriously, it was totally amazing. She completely organized my garage, which I thought for sure was like a weeks-long job. She did it in less than 2 days. She did a BUNCH of loads of laundry, cleaned my entire house, moved all the boys clothes from upstairs to downstairs in my room, cooked every meal, put the boys to bed every night, dropped them off and picked them up from school, read to them, and pretty much just took over and let me sit around and enjoy life for 5 days. It was wonderful. And one of the 5 days was Sunday, and another day was completely taken up by a trip to the San Antonio Temple and then going to the boys TKD belt graduation, so really she did all that in like two and a half days. She puts us all to shame.
My legs are getting really bad. I can't drive any more which is a pain. We're borrowing a wheel chair for our Arizona trip, and when we get home, we'll go test-drive some at a wheelchair dealership in Austin to find one that will work for us around the house. It's been pretty tough for me the past couple of weeks, wondering what is going to happen. But our bishop came last night and gave Ben and me the most amazing blessings. On par, maybe even more amazing than either of our patriarchal blessings. Immediately afterward, mama, Ben and I wrote down everything we could remember. Among other things, he blessed me that my worst fears will not happen, and that my body will heal and be able to recover from what is happening. The implication was that it may take a long time and will probably be a struggle, but that I will not always be how I am right now. He blessed us to be able to make the right decisions for my treatment, and that our house will sell soon! I don't think I would have dared to even hope for such a blessing. I don't know how all of it is going to work out, but this morning I woke up and felt completely different. My legs are still horrible, but it makes all the difference in the world to know that things won't *always* be this hard, and that I'm not going to end up bed-ridden or dying before my kids are grown. Those are the fears that have plagued me over the last few months. The information we've been able to find on my condition has not been optimistic, to say the least. But I can get through this if I know there is a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.
The treatment we are most seriously considering at this point is an autologous bone marrow transplant. There have been a number of experimental trials, mostly in Europe, over the last 8-10 years, and the results seem to be getting better and the mortality rates from the procedure decreasing (was about 10%, but refinements in the procedure have lowered that number to less than 5%. Down to 0.8% in one study). A high percentage (60-70% in some studies) of patients actually go into remission for up to 5 years past the study, and presumably longer (the studies just didn't report results past 5 years). As luck (coincidence? divine intervention?) would have it, there is a multi-center study currently recruiting patients at 2 locations in Texas ( M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Southwestern in Dallas), and City of Hope in CA just a short distance away from La Canada. I seem to fit all the inclusion criteria, and don't fall into any of the exclusion criteria, so I have left messages and emails with the coordinators of the study, so we'll see where it goes. The only iffy thing is the disability requirements. There is this expanded disability sliding scale (EDSS) that measures where a person falls in terms of disability. The study wants people between 3.0 and 5.5. I'm currently at a 6.5. However, 5-6 weeks ago I was at a 5.5, and I think that another blast of steroids could bump me back down to a 5.5, at least temporarily. I think that will be ok, I think they just don't want patients with permanent damage placing them at a 6.5. So while I am 6.5 right now, I think that 1 point difference is still due to inflammation, and not permanent nerve damage. But anyway, we'll see what happens.
It's kind of overwhelming to think about what would be required of my family and my ward, were I to have to be hospitalized in Houston or Dallas or CA for 2-3 months. But if it puts me into remission it is undoubtedly worth it.
Here is a link to a website for the study I'm talking about, if any of you medical/science types out there want to read about it.
http://www.halt-ms.com/forpatients.html
Ok, I better end. This is an obscenely long post, sorry. I just haven't felt this optimistic for a long time, so I thought I'd better share the happiness while I can.
We're going to AZ tomorrow evening (well, we're starting our drive to AZ tomorrow evening), so I probably won't update again for a while.
Have a great weekend everyone.

Mosey's awesome dance moves

Odds and Ends

Hello Everyone,
Ben is upstairs making the boys stay in bed, so I have a moment on the computer. I've still got all the Halloween photos to edit, but I just don't feel like it tonight. Tomorrow during Mosey's preschool I'm hoping to get the bulk of them done. I'm not doing any serious editing on them since this is a major freebie for everyone.
So let's see. What else has happened recently besides Halloween and doctors visits? On Monday Mosey had his Halloween party at preschool. The kids and parents all met in the "big room" (Methodist church version of the cultural hall) where the kids sang all their Halloween songs they've been practicing, and then did a costume parade. Mosey was adorable. He did ALL the actions to every song, but I didn't see him crack a smile the entire time. He was very serious. And he marched in the costume parade very seriously in his Funshine Bear outfit. There were 36 little girls in the room (this was several preschool classes, not just one! There are only 12 kids in Mosey's class), and of that 36, 23 of them were princesses!!! Wow, that's a lot of princesses for one room.
Monday afternoon I took the boys to TKD and there was a woman there taking her grandson to TKD for the first time. At first I didn't notice, but then I did. She had 8-9 inch fingernails on her left hand. I was totally grossed out but also irresistibly drawn to looking at them. WHY oh WHY would someone do this??? Her left hand was entirely nonfunctional. The nails curve around in different directions so she can't use her fingers for anything. How does she get dressed? How does she get sleeves around her hand? How does she fix her hair? There are so many things in life that require 2 hands, and she can't do any of them! She was dressed in work clothes, so I assume she works. How can she hold a job and not type? She definitely cannot type with that hand. Why would someone voluntarily give up the use of one hand? I just don't understand.
Thursday was a pretty fun day, since the boys stayed home from school. We did story time at the library and then ate lunch at Target waiting for my prescription. At home the boys cleaned up the house pretty well under my supervision. Took a lot longer than it needed to, with some of the moaning and groaning that was going on, but they'll get better at it.
Friday was school, then a barbecue at the Bradfords and a rousing game of Pictionary which Ben and I lost in an all-play on the VERY last square. We were pretty evenly matched I guess.
Saturday we were all tired. The boys were up till after 10:00 which is crazy for them. But they were up with the sun as usual. I thought Brigham had a birthday party from 6:30 to 8:30 so after lunch we went to Barnes and Noble to pick out a present, then on errands to Fryes, then on a drive to try and make the boys take naps (2 out of 3, not bad). Then when it was time to wake Brigham up to go to the party, I looked at the invitation to get the address and discovered the party was really from 3-5 and we missed it completely. I felt horrible. Brigham was really looking forward to this party, it was at a roller rink, and he hasn't been invited to a party yet. He ended up sleeping all the way through the night, and I don't think he realizes yet that he missed the party, so maybe I just won't clue him in. But I felt really bad.
So that was this week.
Last week, hmmm, hard to remember. I know I baked a lot. I had to make a cake and cookies for the school carnival, and then cupcakes for Brigham's class, they were doing layer cake words (whatever those are-- I asked Brigham and he didn't really know, just knew they made layer cakes with cupcakes, frosting and m&m's). And then another batch of cupcakes for the ward carnival. Last Saturday the boys had their school carnival during the day and the church carnival at night. The school carnival was pretty well done, although everything cost money of course (it is supposed to be a PTA fundraiser, I think, or maybe they had to charge just to cover the cost of everything). The boys had a TKD demonstration in the cafeteria at the beginning which was fun except that Mr. Fisher brought like 3/4 inch pine boards to break, which were WAY too thick. Even the brown belt students couldn't do it. So that was a little embarassing for him I think, but the rest of the demonstration was cute. He usually uses thinner boards that he buys from a martial arts supply place for the younger kids, but he must have forgotten or grabbed the wrong stack or something.
Then the boys did the carnival, eating pizza and cotton candy, going on pony rides, playing games, etc. Ben mostly took them around and I left to go to Goodwill to get some things for their pirate costumes, since I didn't let them wear the scary costumes to the church carnival.
The church carnival was, by all accounts, a great success. There were games and activities put on by the youth from both wards, there was a chilli dinner, and then the trunk or treat at the end. I didn't see any of it because I was running one of the activities, a photography booth where I set up my black backdrop and a little Halloween scene with pumpkins and a moon with a bat flying across. I'll share the ones I did of the boys as soon as I get them processed.
They were up late that night too, needless to say.
The Thursday before that (sorry, I'm going backwards here), the boys went to their first weapons class in TKD. They have joined the black belt club which means their classes are an extra 15 minutes where they work on patterns, and then they have a once a week 45 minute weapons class where they learn to use various martial arts weapon, and also work on some other martial arts techniques (grappling, etc.). They are learning to use numchucks which are these two short metal bars attached by a chain, and you whirl them around and stuff. Takes a lot of coordination and it was kind of comical to watch some of the younger kids (mine included) try to work with them. I'm thinking of making them some light versions with styrofoam and yarn so they can practice at home.
And I think that's it. At least, I can't remember anything before last Thursday, so that will have to be it! Sorry for the recital. Just wanted to catch up a little.


Joseph on the school carnival pony ride



Brigham on the pony



And Mosey on the pony!



Pirate Joseph at the church Halloween party



And Cap'n Brigham!

And Carebear Mosey. Yeah, I caught him in mid-blink. Oh well! I was determined not to overshoot during the carnival-- just one shot per person! And this is the risk you run I guess.

Halloweeeeeeen

Halloween at the Turners' house was fun! I love Halloween, I just think it is good fun for kids. It has always been one of my favorite holidays.
This year the boys picked their own costumes. Joseph picked a "Scream" costume (he called himself the angel of death), Brigham was a Dementor, and Mosey was Funshine Bear (is anyone surprised about that? I got it for $8 off ebay).
I made the big boys choose different costumes for the church Trunk-or-Treat. I didn't think the Angel of Death and a Dementor were exactly appropriate for a church activity. So they were pirates, and very cute. I have pictures of that but haven't uploaded them yet so you'll have to wait.
I waited until the last day to buy pumpkins, I just kept forgetting. So I went to Walmart in the morning, and all the pumpkins were gone. When Ben got home from work, he took Joseph and Mosey to look for pumpkins, but didn't find any in 2 (or 3?) different stores, so he came home with some decorative gourds, these cool green and white pumpkins (which you can't carve), a pineapple, and a watermelon. We hollowed out the pineapple and watermelon and I carved faces into them. Much yummier than regular pumpkin guts. Mosey wanted me to carve one of the little gourds into a jack-o-lantern, so I did so.
We almost had a disaster looking for the boys' masks, Joseph was in tears at one point. Thankfully we found them so all was well. Ben took the boys trick-or-treating and I sat on the porch and gave out candy. We didn't have that many trick-or-treaters, which was a little sad. A combination of an older neighborhood and our immediate neighbors with porch lights off. It was ok though.
When the boys got home they ate a few pieces of candy and then it was time for bed!
I actually kept the boys home from school the next day. Brigham was up part of the night with a croupy cough, and I was exhausted, so I just decided to scrap it.
Ok, off we go to dinner at the Bradfords! I'll update on more later.


The trick-or-treaters!! So excited.



Pineapple jack-o-lantern. Tried to put his "hair" on, but the candle kept going out. Pretty scary, huh? :-)



With flash.



Watermelon Jack-o-lantern. I kind of like the bloody glow.




With flash.

Here is Mosey's gourd I cut into a jack-o-lantern "with cat eyes" per Mosey's request. I got some of the juice of this gourd on my hands and it is the bitterest thing EVER. These are definitely not to eat.

With flash.

Left side of front porch with our skeleton and the green and white pumpkins Ben got.

Right side of the porch with our giant plastic pumpkin, and the chair where I sat giving out candy. And our witch of course!

The whole front porch. I'm not sure why I'm sharing these porch pictures. Not very interesting!

Finished L family pics

I have to share a few more favorites! Mostly black and whites

L, I don't think I could pick a favorite of the photos of you, but this is certainly among my favorites.

Yes, C really is as adorable as he looks in these photos. Personality too.

I just LOVE this one.

K, I know you don't like your individual portraits, but you'll just have to take my objective, non-biased word for it-- you are beautiful. I always hate photos of myself, too, though, so I can relate to your feelings. Why do you think I like being *behind* the camera so much?

K, you were the best sport ever about taking pictures, something to which it seems like most men are highly allergic. And you look like maybe you were having an ok time, too.

I think L looks like a model here. Look at those eyes!! Sometimes I really like the non-smiling pictures.

C, you are soooo cute!!

Spinal Progressive MS

I know lots of you were thinking and praying and fasting for me today and I thank all of you so much. It helps me so much to know of everyone who is supporting me.
I met with my neurologist today and he confirmed what I had already been suspecting, which is that I don't seem to have the "normal" recurring-remitting MS (not that any form of MS is normal), but that I most likely have the primary progressive form, what he calls "spinal progressive," since it involves mainly the spinal cord. There are a variety of reasons this seems to be the correct diagnosis. I had pretty much come to it on my own through research I have done, so it wasn't a bolt out of the blue, which is a good thing.
So the question now is what treatment to pursue. There are a few options to me, a couple of possible drug therapies, perhaps participating in some clinical trials. My neurologist will be consulting with some neurologists in Dallas and Houston to determine wha the best course of action will be. This is the rarest form of MS so there is a lot that is unknown about what treatments may or may not be helpful in my case.
It was a difficult appointment to sit through. It's hard to hear that this disease *will* put me in a wheelchair within a few years. It's hard to hear that the only two drug therapies currently used for this form of MS are chemotherapy drugs-- Novantrone and Cytoxan, one which may not cause me to lose my hair, but which does cause cardiotoxicity and can't be continued longer than a couple of years, and the other which *will* cause me to lose my hair and give me nausea, mouth sores, and all those other fun chemotherapy side effects. I'm hoping there will be some promising clinical trials.
But I did get a prescription for some antispasticity medication which will make it easier for me to walk, at least for the short term.
I am really, really glad that I found this doctor. He talked with us for more than an hour. I trust him and I know he will do his best to come up with some good options for me. He is so much better than the doctors I had in Miami. I don't know how this whole process would go if we were still out there.
I am doing ok. This wasn't unexpected. It feels a little unreal, but I'm sure that's normal. I don't know how Ben is taking it, I hope ok. He put up a strong front for me at least. I'm sure it is not easy for him to know that he will be taking care of a disabled wife for the next 50 years.
I am sad for what this means for what I hoped I could do and be as a mother and wife. I will have to revise some things, that is certain.
But at the same time I know how fortunate I am. I have a husband who makes a good living and allows me to be home with my kids. I don't know how I could do this if I had to work outside the home. I have 3 perfect children. We have medical insurance which will pay for my treatments. I have a disease which is not terminal. Many, many people live fulfilling, wonderful lives in a wheelchair. I have the best support structure I could hope for.
And I have a month to mull things over, do some research, pray, and get a feel for the direction we should go from here. It's nice not to have to make any major decisions right this very second!
I know some of you out there tend to worry a lot. Please don't! Worrying won't change anything. Everything will be ok. I am ok and we will all adjust!

Joseph's lovely reading voice

Ok, so my boys have to read 20 minutes a day. They like to read (mostly) so that's not a problem, except that they have to read the SAME BOOKS over and over each day for a week (per teacher assignment). This gets a little boring.

Joseph alleviates this boredom by reading in the weirdest voice possible. I'll just let you hear it. For the first 10 seconds it is kinda cute, for the next 30 seconds it is pretty funny, but thereafter it is pretty much just headache-inducing. But it keeps him reading so I'll go with it!

I love how Mosey just sits there so seriously listening to the story.

Words, words, words!!

At, am, and, cat, dog, rat, pan, pat, off, ox, ax, box, mom, dad, red, rug, lost, pumpkin, cup, dust, fat, fast, tummy, poop, soon, chin, chip, much, lunch, food, funny, cat, cast, silly, cow, igloo, pool, grass, tick, tock, pill, crab, sand, cheek, and, the, a, to, do, it, see, leg, hand, tap, clock, witch.

What are all these words? Why, they are all words Mosey has read BY HIMSELF since Saturday.
I'm not kidding. I've been working with him on sounds for quite a while, then on Saturday just for fun I wrote down some words and he READ THEM!!! So I've been adding some words, teaching him about ch, th, oo, ee, etc., and he is READING!
Yes, I am proud of my three year old.

L family pictures

I've been pretty busy lately. House stuff, school stuff, blah blah blah. But I've had some fun too. I've been editing the pictures I did for our friends a while ago, and helping another friend design a wedding invitation. So I'm still getting some computer time here and there.

Here are some of my favorites (so far) of the photo shoot I did on the 13th.

Beautiful mom, handsome dad

Sassy 16 year old



A more pensive pose

Out in nature



Love that smile!



He thought I was weird, making him stand out in the middle of the bushes...



Happy family



I think this is my favorite of the family portraits

Addendum to my global warming rant

It is my opinion that the human spirit has an innate need for religious expression. Every culture in the history of earth has had some form of religion or another. We live in an age where many secularists now perceive traditional religion as foolish and unscientific. Many have rejected religion as a consequence of this perception. And yet, the human spirit still craves religious expression.
In my observation, it appears that some people shift their religious devotion from God, to various secular causes, particularly physical health and the environment, although there are numerous other examples.
What strikes me is that both of these causes (and the other examples I can think of) *are* very important. We actually have religious responsibility to care for our physical bodies and our environment. However, when these causes become more important than service to God, or when they become substitutions for devotion to God, when they become ends in themselves rather than vehicles of coming to know God, the religious devotion to these causes becomes dangerous.
Not to be melodramatic, but I do believe that Satan is quite pleased when we begin worshipping good health and clean environment over God.
So, while I absolutely support any individual in their efforts to keep themselves and their families healthy, and our environment clean and beautiful, I get worried and scared when these individuals begin allying themselves, philosophically or actually, with groups and causes that have adopted health and/or environmentalism as their religion. I think this is the wrong path and will not lead to anything good in our society or world.
Does this make sense to anyone?

hot, hot, hot!!!

Ok. So my dad sent all his kids an article regarding Al Gore's recent Nobel Prize and a prominent climatologist who refutes most of his claims. My family has a range of political views, and this email sparked several different responses. Being the sucker I am for getting involved in family "discussions" of politics, I can't help but put in my two cents. My kids are in bed (not asleep, but at least in bed), and I now have time to respond to some of these replies and elaborate on my own particular views. I'm mostly responding to an email from my older sister where she states she is desperately concerned about global warming, because she must rely on the expertise of others and the general scientific consensus (which she implies supports the theory of human-caused global climate change). She also expresses desperate concern about sleep deprivation in children, although that was something of an unrelated aside at the end of her short note. So with that in way of explanation, here's what I have to say about the matter.

See, I, too am pretty convinced by scientific consensus in pretty much all scientific issues. But there *isn't* any scientific consensus when it comes to Global Climate Change. There is data all over the place. There is no way to determine whether the slight increase in global temperatures over the last decades is due in any degree (no pun intended) to human activity, particularly when one looks at global temperature variations during periods when there was no carbon-emitting human industry at all (unless you count breathing).

There are many, many scientists who do not attribute climate change to human activity. Some who do, yes, but many who do not. Unfortunately the whole issue has become incredibly politicized, which in my opinion completely corrupts the scientific process. Grant money is often determined by political persuasions. Scientists have come straight out and said they are afraid to contradict scientific "evidence" that they know to be false, or even questionable, because it is politically incorrect and would negatively impact future grants.

Call me a skeptic (and no, I don't call you weakminded Rosalynde), but I can't help but have serious doubts about a phenomenon (human-caused global climate change) that is most notably endorsed by Al Gore's "documentary." This film has so many falsifications, is deliberately misleading in too many ways for me to take it seriously in the slightest. This film is so obviously leftist propaganda, that for me it casts doubt on all proponents of human-caused climate change. Maybe he's just the bad apple that gives a whole group a bad name, but if so, then why hasn't there been an outcry by scientists who do have legitimate evidence for climate change, protesting Al Gore's film for precisely the reason that it's huge flaws cast doubt on their legitimate work? Unfortunately, not only has there not been any outcry of this sort, but he has now been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize!!!!!!! To me that indicates that proponents of global climate change *do* buy into his views, that his film really *is* the best they have to offer in the way of evidence for climate change. And that is precisely why I am so very skeptical of the whole thing.

NOW. This is not to say that I think we as human beings have no responsibility for this earth. This is something that makes me SO MAD. Conservatives who do not buy into the leftist hysteria about global climate change are therefore painted as these mindless oafs who hate the environment and care nothing about conserving resources or living responsibly. And that is a lie. As a *conservative* I believe we should *conserve!* I think it is totally absurd, our dependence on oil for all our energy needs. I also think it is totally absurd that we should therefore stop using oil and rely totally on solar and wind power. There are many other options, nuclear power being one of the best I think. And yet it is the same leftists who are wildly hysterical about global warming, that also get wildly hysterical about building new nuclear power plants (or even using existing ones at capacity). It is infuriating, and makes me think they are not truly worried about reducing our dependence on foreign oil, but are more concerned about political power plays. There are many ways to reduce our dependence on foreign oil (and oil in general), and it is beyond frustrating to see leftist politics thwarting any move towards solving this problem.

Another thing. I think we should all be concerned with being responsible. With conserving energy where we can, with teaching our children to live responsibly and conservatively, to respect the environment and the magnificence of God's creation. However, when it comes to things we should be "desperately concerned about" (sorry, but I have to use your words here, Rosalynde, since it illustrates my point so well), I worry a lot about the priorities of average Americans, especially those with left-of-center political beliefs. I am far more concerned about the imminent issues of radical Islam, for example, than I am about "Global Climate Change." I am far more concerned about the direction public education is going. I am much more concerned about how we are going to resolve the coming Social Security crisis and the sinkhole that is Medicare. I am desperately, desperately concerned about how honesty, hard work, self-sufficiency and personal responsibility seem to have melted away from America's consciousness. Which is ironic because if we could just bring these values back as distinctly *American,* as they used to be, I think America, with the ingenuity and creativity that has in the past been part of our greatest strength as a nation, could probably figure out how to be self-sufficient in terms of energy requirements! And if we could get individuals to prioritize and value personal responsibility, I think the social-security and medicare crises would also be quickly solved. I am afraid for America, but not because Florida might be under water in 3 years. I am afraid for America because the values that made our country great, that made our country God's chosen land where he chose to restore the gospel, are disappearing.

One final point about Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize. I found it rather amusing that just days before he was awarded this "prize," a court in Great Britain found the film to be misleading or false in 11 different areas, and therefore decided that if the film is to be shown in state-run schools, the "Government must first amend their Guidance Notes to Teachers to make clear that 1.) The Film is a political work and promotes only one side of the argument. 2.) If teachers present the Film without making this plain they may be in breach of section 406 of the Education Act 1996 and guilty of political indoctrination. 3.) Eleven inaccuracies have to be specifically drawn to the attention of school children."
(http://newparty.co.uk/articles/inaccuracies- gore.html)
Interesting, eh?
Oh yeah, I'm also desperately concerend about sleep deprivation in children, especially because it is 9:47 PM and one, maybe two of my children are still messing around upstairs refusing to sleep. :-)

Ok, now that I've offended and alienated everyone in at least one way or another, I believe I will close. I promise not to pontificate on Global Climate Change for at least one week.

Smiles and hugs from the most liberal city in Texas,
Gabrielle
P.S. I still do highly recommend Michael Crichton's "State of Fear." It is one of the few novels I have read that is extensively footnoted with scientific articles and other primary sources.

Monday musings

Hello Everyone,
It is 10:30 AM, I have the house straightened up, laundry going, and now I'm sitting here uploading the pictures I took this weekend. I did a family photo shoot for a family in my ward Saturday night. It was fun! Afterward we went to Countyline (BBQ restaurant), and waited almost an hour and a half to get seated, so we didn't even get home until after 10:00 PM. Ben didn't want to even go there, after we were told it would be a 50 minute wait. But usually they tell you 45 minutes and it's actually 25 minutes, right? That's my experience, anyway. But Ben was TOTALLY right this time. Sorry Ben! I still owe you that dollar.
So yesterday the boys were... just a little tired. Actually, they were up really late Friday night, too, for no particular reason, we were just hanging out at home and Ben started showing them some funny YouTube videos and anyway, we ended up staying up till 10:00 that night, too. And of course they were up early Saturday morning. Yawn...
Saturday we cleaned the house. I stayed up really late Friday night sweeping downstairs (which desperately needed doing), so I wanted to get the floors mopped and stuff before they got dirty again. Ben and the boys picked up the upstairs, then Ben cleaned the garage while I supervised the boys cleaning up the playroom and then they did reading practice and finished their first book report. Whew! Ben vacuumed upstairs (that needed doing even more than the downstairs! But I don't go up there much so it doesn't bug me as much), and I took the boys to RadiJazz. They had a good time there, although Mosey lost his Carebear AGAIN. He wanted to bring it in, I told him NO, he started to tantrum, so I told him, ok, but he STAYS IN MY PURSE. Well, when it was time to leave, Sunshine bear was not in my purse. The boys told me they saw Mosey carrying him around. We looked around, then asked the girl at the front desk if anyone turned him in. No, but she HAD seen it on the floor over by one of the play structures, but didnt' pick it up. So we went back and searched everywhere, but no luck. And then we had to go because it was time for my photo shoot. I'll call them today, but we didn't see it, and the place isn't that big. There are two possibilities: someone picked it up and took it home, or it ended up in the huge foam block pit. If it ended up in there, I think it may be gone forever. The girl said they never empty that thing out.
SOOO, I have ordered ANOTHER sunshine bear from ebay (found another one, yay!!), but this is the last time. For reals. And I am NEVER letting him take that bear into another entertainment type of place again. EVER.
Luckily this time around, he has gotten somewhat attached to his "white kitty cat" so he seems to be hanging in there. We did have lots of tears on the way from RadiJazz to the park, but he's been ok with things since then.
Yesterday was a tough day for me. Not enough sleep, as I was also up WAY too late Friday and Saturday nights. Plus it was fast sunday which, I'm ashamed to admit, always makes me on edge and not very patient. Ben watched the kids for a few hours while I took a nap, even, but I was still really grumpy when I woke up. I yelled at the boys too much and I feel bad. I'll do better today. I always get grumpy when the house gets messy just after it got all cleaned up, which happened. They got out playdough, and it ended up in little crumbs all over the floor, upstairs, etc. I yelled a lot about how THIS is why I hate buying playdough and tell them it can NEVER go anywhere but the kitchen table. But I think I could have conveyed the same ideas, probably more effectively, without yelling. Sigh...
But I went to bed at a good hour last night, and I'm feeling pretty good today.
Brigham has been praying that we find Angel in every prayer he says. It is breaking my heart. I really think we need to get a kitten.
Mosey is a funny little guy. He says every night, "Wow, I didn't know it was going to be night time again after it was day time!" Or, "I didn't know it was going to be night time after Tae Kwon Do!" Or, "I didn't know it was going to be night time again after it was church!" He seems genuinely astonished every night when darkness comes again. Oh, and he read his first words Friday! He was so cute, so proud of himself. Ok, the words were "me" and "see," but still, it was pretty exciting.
All right, I've got to get some more computer work done before it's time to get Mosey from preschool.

Joseph is a thinker

This morning Mosey and I went to the school's Principal's Pride Awards. Joseph was awarded for being "a thinker." Yay Joseph!
I can't help but think that since this is the first Principal's Pride of the year, he must have really made a good impression on his teacher. :-)
This is a very good thing for Joseph, so I was very happy.
Monday the boys had no school. Well, Brigham and Joseph had no school. Mosey still had preschool, so after I dropped him off, the big boys and I had the morning to ourselves. It was really great! They helped me clean up the whole house, and they did a great job. Then we did some reading practice and math practice and read a little more about Ancient Sumeria. Did you know they invented the potter's wheel? So we watched some Youtube videos on pottery throwing, and then the boys got out the playdough and made their own pots!
After we got Mosey from school, we came home and decorated the house for Halloween. It is very spooky now. Brigham and Joseph decorated their room, too. Later in the evening Ben took them to the dollar store to redeem some of their responsibility stars, and Joseph got some more little halloween decorations for his room, and to decorate the fake spiderwebs on our front porch. They are so excited for Halloween!
It is October and so the boys are beginning to get homework. They have 4 book reports due on the 31st. Not very involved book reports, just 5 sentences about a book they read, and then a picture. BUT, it all has to be in their own hand writing, and I'm supposed to make sure they form their letters correctly. I admit to not paying that much attention to their handwriting until now. But they are not doing lots of the strokes correctly, so now I have to nip that in the bud. Yesterday afternoon all we did was come up with sentences for their first book, and then I had them write the date, title, and author on their papers. And that took about 20 minutes for each child!! So we're going to have to get cracking. They'll need to do at least two sentences tonight. Not a big deal, but it is TKD this afternoon, and then I have mutual, and Ben is in Louisiana today so they'll have to come with me, so we only have about an hour this afternoon for them to play and get their homework done, so we'll have to work fast.
In a few minutes I'm taking Mosey to the Austin science and nature center. It's free and supposedly pretty cool, so we'll check it out.
Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Starry-eyed boy

Just for fun...

Video: Half-tiger, half-human boys attack own mother!!

Post-Conference Blues

Hi everyone,
Well, conference is over now. It was great. I really enjoyed exactly who I thought I'd really enjoy-- Elder Holland, Elder Scott, Elder Eyring, President Hinckley. Plus lots of others. I loved the "Good, Better, Best" talk, I really liked Sister whats-her-name's (RS Gen pres) talk (it was almost the same talk she gave in the RS broadcast, but worth hearing again!), and several others that I will look forward to reading in next month's Ensign.
I always feel a little let-down when conference is over. Another six months!
This was the first general conference that our boys really let us watch/listen in relative peace. It was so nice!! They played really well together upstairs, outside, in the playroom, occasionally came into the living room and listened/watched with us. Very few interruptions, I hardly had to yell at them to be quiet at all! They must be growing up. Not long ago and trying to listen/watch was just an exercise in frustration.
This afternoon we went over to a ward family's house (the dad is our home teacher) for lunch and then to watch the afternoon session. That was nice too. We had a great dessert, two kinds of pumpkin pie and a spice cake I brought. Uh-oh, the calorie-season is upon us!!
Let's see. What else happened this week. I've been busy. We tied a baby quilt for mutual on Wednesday, so I went with Mosey on Monday to pick out some fabric. While we were there he spotted some care-bear material that wasn't overtly feminine (purple, yellow and pink carebears on a green background), that he *had* to have. So I bought it for him and tied a quilt for him too. Got those bound on Friday, and he hasn't been without the blanket since. He may turn into Linus, as Ben commented this afternoon.
I made a really good dessert for mutual, too, and it was really easy. I wanted to make an ice cream cake, so I looked on allrecipes.com and found this one that was rated high and really easy (two prerequisites for any recipe I make). Layer the bottom of a pan with ice cream sandwiches, then spread a layer of hot fudge sauce, then a layer of cool whip, then another layer of ice cream sandwiches, then I did a layer of caramel sauce, and a thicker layer of cool whip, and then topped it with crushed oreos. I got lots of compliments and no one guessed it was just ice cream sandwiches until I told them. Not low-calorie though! I will try it next time with the reduced fat ice cream sandwiches and fat-free sugar-free cool whip, and maybe top with strawberries instead of oreos.
The boys had an early release day on Friday so after picking them up we went down to the Austin zoo. Aunt Pat got us a membership a few months ago but we didn't get the chance to go until Friday. It was really cool! This is not a typical zoo, it is more of a refuge for animals that have been rescued from various situations. It is quite small, but we spent 2.5 hours there and didn't look at the whole thing, so it is plenty big enough. The great thing is that you can get WAY up close to the animals. The enclosures are right there where you can walk right up to them (except the dangerous animals where there is a fence around the enclosure). We saw prairie dogs which are soooo cute up close, all sorts of monkeys (these were also really fascinating to watch up close), a whole bunch of parrots and mackaws, giant tortoises, leopards, bears, tigers, lions, and more. The zoo is located in the middle of nowhere sort of, amidst the rolling hills of Austin's hill-country, so the terrain is really beautiful. It was pretty awe-inspiring to get up close (6 feet) to a grizzly bear, and probably the same distance away from a couple of bengal tigers. I took some pictures and video which I will put on my blog. We stopped half-way through to rest for a while and observed a whole bunch of ants trying to cart off some goldfish crackers someone had left on the picnic table. Then the boys had fun imitating the tigers and showing me their fiercest tiger yowls and pounces. Mosey got a little carried away and actually started biting me (not too hard though). Anyway, it was fun and we'll definitely be back. I think I'll plan outings like that for all of the boys' early release days.
On Thursday the boys and I went to the Spicewood Elementary fun-run. The boys ran a couple of laps around the park next to the school and then we ate hot dogs and chips and popsicles in the cafeteria. There was a guy in there all set up with a sound system, playing the guitar and singing some oldies rock and roll songs. I was thinking it was pretty cool that the school hired someone to entertain during the dinner, and then the boys told me that was Mr. Steinburg, their music teacher! Wow, I never had a music teacher as cool as him when I was in elementary school! No wonder Brigham comes bounding into the car when I come pick them up on music days shouting at the top of his lungs, "I LOVE MUSIC! I LOVE MUSIC!" (He really does this).
Ok, one more story from the week, and then I'll close. I am convinced that I really must be the angel of death to toads. You remember all of my past attempts to raise tadpoles have ended in mass death of said tadpoles? Well, some of them actually did make it to toad stage, but none of them left my house alive, sadly. So on Wednesday I was in the backyard with Mosey, trying to catch a butterfly with Joseph's butterfly net. I couldn't get the butterfly, but did catch a little toad. We put it in Joseph's bug cage thingy (this little case with a handle, and mesh sides), with the plan that Mosey could look at it and show it to Brigham and Joseph when they got home from school, and then we'd let it go. So we did that, and Mosey carried it around with him most of the day. I wanted to let it go before we took Brigham and Joseph to TKD, but Mosey wanted to take it along, so I let him. Well, at TKD, Mr. Toad got man-handled a bit too much in his cage, both by Mosey and another little boy waiting there for his big brother. Mr. Toad ended up on his back on the bottom of his cage, after being tumbled about in the cage several times. I hoped he was just stunned and playing dead, but when we got back home and took him out, no, he was indeed dead. So we buried him in the side yard, yet another toad we've sent to an early grave. :-( Maybe I will have really learned my lesson this time to LEAVE TOADS ALONE!!
Ok, on that sad note I will close this letter.


Cutie Mosey at the zoo.


Ducky Joseph.



Brigham studying some ants moving goldfish crackers.



This is Mosey "being a tiger." Well at least that's what he said he was doing! Not quite sure I see the resemblance myself...

Now Joseph has to show me how *he* can be a tiger.

Don't leave out Brigham! I think he actually had the most realistic tiger imitation of the three of them.

All three boys "being bears." If you look in the upper left corner, sort of above Mosey's head, you can actually see the *real* bear in the background.

Another bear. We could get closer to this one. I think this is a brown bear. It is a lot bigger than it looks in this picture.

One of the Bengal tigers (they have two tiger enclosures). This one was pacing around his enclosure and came right up to the fence to take a look at us! We were literally only 5 or 6 feet away! These are enormous creatures.

The other tiger enclosure. This tiger made eye contact with me and we had a staring contest for a few minutes. I won.

One of the many monkeys we saw there. I think this was a "Patas monkey."
He was reaching through the bars to pick some cedar foilage as a snack.

The King of the Jungle himself. Isn't he gorgeous?

A leopard lazing in the sun. He/she lay there looking at us for a minute or so until Joseph threw a dandelion at him (Joseph thought the leopard would like to eat the dandelion, don't ask me why, but it hit the fence and didn't go through), then he stood up, looked at us really disgustedly (yes, cats CAN get disgusted looks on their faces), and stalked away.

must... clean... house...

Hello Everyone,
Ok, it is 10:36 A.M. and an hour and a half of my precious no-kid time is gone, with no cleaning of the house to show for it. Ugh. House cleaning is really and truly the bane of my existence. It's not so horrible, but it takes so much time and then I don't have time to do the things I really want to do. I was whining to Ben yesterday as we were frantically cleaning up before our home-teacher came over, that I feel like my skills and talents are totally wasted on cleaning the house, which is all I seem to have time to do during my discretionary time. It just puts me in a very bad mood. And my legs are getting bad again, which just makes it that much harder. I can't do very much before I have to stop and rest. And I'm not used to working that way. I'm used to just attacking a project, no matter what it is, and pushing as hard as I can until it is done. If I stop to break, I lose momentum and motivation, and the work tends to not get done. So it is exceedingly frustrating to not be able to get a job finished in one fell swoop.
I'm depressed about my legs. I'm hoping they've taken a turn for the worse because I've been sick the past week. Maybe. But I never did get back as much function after this last round of steroids than I have before, and I think things now are probably as good as they'll ever be, and that is depressing for me. It's going to take me a long time to adjust to my new limitations. I used to not HAVE limitations, so just having them at all is a big adjustment. I've noticed my spasticity is coming back, and generalized weakness and how quickly I reach muscle fatigue. Things are still better than they were before the steroids, but I've noticed some deterioration over the past week and that scares me and depresses me. But it is what it is, and I can't change it, so I'll have to just get past it! My next doctors appointment is October 31, so I'll just have to see how things go over the next month.
I sort of just feel like my whole life is not quite how I want it, and I'm not sure how to get it where I do want it. I'm frustrated with how long the boys' school hours are. After they get home, almost all their time is taken up with TKD twice a week, reading practice with each child, piano practice (they're only doing like 5 minutes or so), I also want to work on one other subject each day, and then I have to get dinner ready and then the afternoon is over. Everything is too rushed and I don't feel like we are able to really enjoy each other. And I would like them to get involved in a couple of other activities-- actual piano lessons, maybe soccer, Brigham's been asking about gymnastics class, Joseph wants to join a science club. But there is NO WAY we can do that unless the boys completely give up any free play time at all. And that doesn't seem right for 6 year olds. So the idea of home-schooling has been popping into my mind again. I've always wanted to homeschool, in fact, I always planned on it. And then I got diagnosed with M.S. and I just didn't feel on top of things enough to start, so I sent them to public school. And then we moved and decided to live in this area specifically *for* the public schools, and my life has been crazy since then as well. But I just can't see us doing this for the next 12 years. I could absolutely get the boys through all their formal school lessons before lunch. Then after lunch all the way until dinner they could play, take lessons, go to practices, we could go on outings and field trips, and take the time to be *kids.* I know I could do it. I totally don't mind being a chauffeur in the afternoons, if we've had the rest of the day to be together, enjoy each other, the boys have had time to play, they don't have homework hanging over them, etc., etc. They could be as busy as they want in the afternoons, because I'm not trying to squeeze in all these other things-- play time, homework, family time, etc.
What is holding me back is just fear of the unknown I guess. I'm not afraid I couldn't do it, or that I couldn't do a really good job. I know I could. There is nothing I have ever tried to do, that I've felt passionate about, that I've been committed to, that I have failed at. Is that arrogant of me to say? Maybe. But I guess it feels weird to live in this part of town, much more expensive than other areas we could have moved to, specifically FOR the public schools, and then not have the boys *attending* those schools. But if I could do a better job than the public school, then I guess it shouldn't matter how good the public school is. I'm afraid of pulling the boys out because I don't do well with confrontation, and I'm afraid of a confrontation with the school. And I genuinely like the boys' teachers, and I'm afraid of making them feel bad. Ok, I know these are dumb reasons, but they still worry me. And, ok, I'll admit it, I'm a little afraid of what people will think of me for pulling my boys out of school. Homeschooling is becoming more common, but is far from mainstream. I also worry that the boys will really miss some aspects of public school. Comeraderie with the other kids, their "specials" classes, recess, lunch with all the other kids. I think they are really, truly enjoying 1st grade. 1st grade is fun, why shouldn't they enjoy it? If I pulled them out, they'd be working harder academically, and probably wouldn't have as much fun, at least for the school part of things. I hope they'd overall have more fun because they'd have more time to do things they really enjoy. And I know as the school years progress, things get less fun. I remember being *so* bored by the time I got to 3rd grade. School wasn't fun anymore because it was so repetitive and slow and boring. And socially things got more confusing. As kids get older, they are more driven to obtain acceptance and approval from their peers. As 6 year olds, my boys are still oblivious to all of this, but I know it will happen. In 4th grade I was betrayed by my former best friend, and went through the entire school year pretty much with no friends. It was horrible. My boys don't need that. So I guess I could let them stay in school for the next couple of years and then pull them out, but I don't know if that's a good idea either. If we really are going to homeschool, I should just start now so we're not playing catch-up in a couple of years.
I have all sorts of other reasons *to* homeschool. I have no doubts about it being the best path academically, and there's no point in even comparing public schooling to homeschooling in terms of moral training, instilling values, and producing young adults who are self-sufficient, self-disciplined, and very comfortable and strong in who they are.
Ben still has some doubts, which makes sense since he sees how hard it is for me to keep the house clean. And that part of my life certainly wouldn't be made any easier by homeschooling my kids. Quite the contrary. But at least I would feel like the majority of my time is being spent in something truly worth my time, my energy, my talents. And if we ever get our Florida house sold, we could afford to have a cleaning service.
I just feel like I'm allowing my dreams and passions for my kids to slip by me because it just seems like a little too much effort to pursue them. And I don't like the way that feels. I don't want to look back in 12 years and regret that I didn't have the courage to chase my dreams. This is the ONLY childhood my kids get. I want to make it as rich and as wonderful as it can possibly be. I only have 3 children, and probably will only ever have 3 kids. It is not an impossibly daunting task to homeschool 3 kids, especially when 2 will be in the same grade! Lots of people homeschool very effectively with a lot more kids.
There are lots of other things I could do to fill my time, and even lots of things that would be a worthy use of my skills and talents. But I can't think of anything ultimately more important or more fulfilling than being an intrinsic, important part of my kids' lives, and helping them to train their minds and spirits for the rest of their lives.
Ok, so that's my little pep talk to myself, I guess. I'm not sure what I'll do. I'm trying to slowly introduce the elements of homeschooling to my kids after school and on weekends. Maybe after Christmas break we'll talk about pulling the boys out of school. Or maybe doing stuff after school and on weekends will be enough. It could be, but then the boys wouldn't be able to do all the other extra curricular after school stuff that they'd like to do, and I'd like them to do. So I don't know. I think it might take some time for Ben to be persuaded that I really *can* do this, and that it really *will* be better for the boys. So I need to get myself organized and disciplined over the next several weeks so I can convince him and myself that I can do this.
SO, on that note, I really MUST get some housework done so that after school I can focus completely on the boys and not be stressed and distracted by chores that need to be done.
Have a great week everyone.
Oh, and here is my promised note to Abraham. You are the kind of kid and student that I would like my boys to be like when they are 18. But I'm sure you recognize what kind of an exception you are among the vast majority of your peers at LCHS. And LCHS is one of the top public high schools in the state. It's a little scary when you look at the average student at LCHS and realize that they would be considered elite among the average high school students in the rest of the state/country. I hope you're not freezing up there in Utah. Usually the end of Sept, beginning of Oct. is one of the hottest times of year in Southern Cal! It's nice to actually experience fall, isn't it? Too bad fall has to be followed by winter...