Be warned, this is a really self-pitying, annoying post, so if you're in an ornery mood, don't read it!
Ok, so Ben and I are getting ready to buy a house. No, our house in Florida isn't sold yet (just a minor detail!), but the market here in Austin is heating up a lot and Ben is thinking more and more like this might be a more permanent home for us, and it seems like we should do it. Ben has been showing me houses on line for weeks (months) now, and we've driven past several of them. But I wasn't really excited about any house until this one we saw last weekend. We actually accidentally drove past it twice, and it wasn't even on our list of houses to drive past, and when we got home and looked it up on line, it was perfect. Just perfect. Seemed like a sign from God that this was our house. Almost half an acre yard, and just BEAUTIFULLY landscaped, really just amazing yard. Really nice pool. FIVE bedrooms. Yes, five. I can't remember the last time I saw a house listed with 5 bedrooms, they just don't make houses like that anymore. Enough bedrooms for our kids an a guest room. Two stories, but only one bedroom upstairs, so almost everything is on the bottom floor. Beautiful kitchen, gorgeous living room with wood floors and a fireplace and huge windows looking out onto the backyard. Game room that would be PERFECT for a playroom/computer room. I can just see myself in there working on the computer and the kids playing with toys. All 4 bedrooms downstairs are on the other side of the house, so very quiet, and good sized bedrooms with nice windows. Plus a laundry room on that same hall as the bedrooms! How perfect and convenient for doing laundry. And the price is in our pricerange and probably underpriced by at LEAST $50,000. So for the past 4 days I've been dreaming about this house. I probably drove past it 6 times. Same school, same ward, only about 5 minutes from our house. Walking distance (5 minutes or less) from a really nice park. Quiet street.
Anyway, Ben made an appointment with our realtor to see this house and one other. The other house is actually right across the street from us, and we weren't that interested, but thought we should at least see it. So the realtor gets here and we go across the street. He calls the listing agent and finds out they just got an offer in last night. Oh well, that's ok, we weren't that interested anyway. And it really wouldn't be the right house for us. I didn't care since I was really only interested in the other house. So we drive up to the other house and when we get there the realtor gets out of his car and tells us he just called the listing agent for that house, and they signed a contract FOUR HOURS AGO. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I literally felt sick to my stomach. So we went in the house anyway and I just felt sicker and sicker since it would have been SO perfect for us. Anyway, long story short we will put in a back-up offer but really the chances that the current contract will fall through are pretty slim since the house was so underpriced.
So anyway, I am incredibly disappointed, and I just have a hard time dealing with disappointment! I'm trying to just put it out of my mind, but my mind just keeps wandering back to that house. I dreamt last night that we somehow contacted the buyers and offered them $10,000 to rescind their offer. LOL. I'm trying hard to keep perspective and realize all the amazing blessings I have in my life and this is just a house and the Lord knows what's best for me and obviously this is just not in the cards. But it is SO frustrating to know how close we were to this once-in-a-lifetime house. So how do I get past this disappointment? I guess just time and keep reminding myself to keep things in perspective. I have a wonderful husband, three amazing children that I never thought I would ever even have, wonderful family and friends, a testimony of the Gospel, we live in a beautiful city, my husband has a great job and very good job security, I really have NOTHING to complain about. But I just wanted that house! :-(
Ok, enough of that. Hopefully this whine will be cathartic and I can move on!
Gosh, I am so self-absorbed I don't even have anything else to write about today. Oh yeah, I am buying a macro lens from someone off of Craigslist today (is that ok Ben?), which I am excited about (but not as excited as I would be about that house!), so I will have fun photographing interesting objects up really close. It will also work great as a telephoto portrait lens, which is something I've been wanting for a long time. I love Craigslist.
I will close now and add a storyboard I did of Brigham back in September. I don't think I shared it yet. I don't LOVE it, but I made storyboards of the other two boys, and didn't want him to be left out. And he adores building things with blocks, so it seemed to fit him. You can click on the image to see it larger if you want.
I love you all and if anyone has any suggestions for how to move past disappointment and get some perspective on all of this house stuff, I would appreciate it!
2 comments:
Gabrielle:
It just seems like things in life come in pairs. I just wrote a letter to a close friend who is dealing with a disappointing situation and thought it appropriate. If it seems overly dramatic for this situation, I apologize. Prepare yourself for the longest comment ever!
Here it is:
I am so sorry for the way things turned out. I know I’ve already talked too much about this, but I want you to know I understand that it hurts. On the other hand, I want you to know it doesn’t have to continue to hurt. I want to help you do what I couldn’t do for myself: let go. Eliza Tabor said, “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” I now know there were great lessons to learn from the disappointments I suffered in the past. I wish I had learned them while earlier, but better late than never, I suppose. I can’t tell you what the lessons you learn will be—they are different for everyone. But I can tell you they can make you better.
You can be strengthened. This strength will allow you to be more empathetic and sympathetic to those who go through hard times. It also makes your next trial a little easier because you are better able to pick up and move on. I have finally come to the point where I learned it doesn’t help me to dwell on my trials. I cry about it, then I move on. It’s never wrong to cry! As a matter of fact, I think it’s therapeutic. But, try not to dwell on it for too long.
You can be tempered. I love this visual because it reminds us that Heavenly Father is preparing us for the rest of our lives. Temper means to make more temperate, acceptable, or suitable. I want to be more acceptable in the eyes of my father in heaven, and I definitely want to be more suitable to live with him forever. I know through trials we are smoothed out and prepared for that future time.
You can be intensified. I don’t know that you need much intensifying (you are already a pretty intense girl :0 ), but I like to think of this as intensifying the good qualities. Then those good qualities can be used in the service of others. I know you were brought to this earth ‘for such a time as this’ (Ester 4:14). You are and can continue to be a wonderful influence on those around you. I know you’re probably fine, and you probably don’t need a boring letter from me, but I wanted to let you know that I’m here for you.
Remember, “Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” Looking back, I have always found that to be true. It may not be in the way you expect, but I do believe it happens.
Like I said, I hope it's not overly dramatic.
Hi Gabby,
I love reading what you have to say. It's enjoyable and you write well. Ewe right reel good!
About the house, I cracked up when you were talking about the new photo equipment find from Craigslist although you didn't think it was as nice as the preferred house. Kudos for using humor to cope with that situation.
I was very happy to hear that you are hoping that this will be a permanent home for you and that you are house hunting in the ward boundaries. Keep that up!
It sounds like you are having a tough time dealing with uncertainty and you want to plant your feet into one place. I don't blame you. Maybe you should do something adventurous to take your mind off of the wait in the meantime.
Have you been to the Texas History museum yet? That's a fun outing to take during the day. I'd love to go there with you sometime.
I don't really have any sage advice, but just wanted to let you know that I love you already, am happy to have you as a new friend, and can't wait to get to know you more, and watch your boys grow bigger, and just have you be here with Austin being your new casa. And it would be nice to LOCATE a new casa...like the one you dreamed of! Keep hoping!
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