May 17, 2006

Hello Everyone,
Well, just a few tales from the Turner household tonight.
First the regular health report... Not that great, unfortunately. I've been taking the dexamethasone for 7 days now. It has improved my left leg, it is much less painful. But I certainly haven't regained all sensation and now my right arm has been tingly. This happened with the prednisone, too. The symptoms I took the pred for did seem to diminish, but right at the same time some new symptoms popped up. I guess I'm just not sure what to expect. Should these steroids totally wipe out all my symptoms? Since it's not, does that mean it's not working? I guess I'll call my doctor again tomorrow, but I really, REALLY don't want to have to go in for IV steroids. The Dexamethasone is causing enough havoc as it is. It's been giving me major hot flashes and for a couple of days (when I was still on the highest dose) I got really depressed. I am down to 2 a day now and that seems to have improved, but I was pretty miserable for a couple of days. Of course one of the side effects of dexamethasone is a spike in depressive symptoms. I actually noticed it *before* I looked up the Dex side effects, so I'm pretty sure it's not just psychosomatic. Monday was the worst day for that. It was rainy and dreary all day and I was tired and just BLAH. I had no energy and couldn't focus on the kids. Mosey watched cartoons the entire time the boys were at preschool. I felt terrible, like I had absolutely no right being a mother and the whole world would be far better off if I just ceased to exist. Lovely thoughts, huh? Happily, I am feeling better today, but still really having trouble with mental clarity, motivation, and fatigue. Mentally, I just can't seem to focus very well. When the big boys come home from school, I almost go into overload because they are just chattering nonstop and I can't keep up and their volume is about 2 times higher than it needs to be and after about 5 minutes I just want to shut myself up in a closet for some QUIET!!! Aggghhh. But I'm hanging in there and doing my very best to be patient and I know this will pass soon.
So, that's the whiny part of my email over and DONE with.
Let's backtrack a couple of days. Mother's day was very very nice. Ben continued pampering me and got up with the boys on Sunday morning and let me sleep until it was time to get ready for church. All I did was get up and get myself ready and he was in charge of the boys. Church was nice, of course, the primary kids got up and sang mother's Day songs and it was really cute and all that. I have so many memories of Mother's Days being days of sadness and uncertainty, it is still, even after almost 5 years, a total wonder to me that I have these 3 little boys. I know a couple of women in our ward struggling to have babies and felt sad for them. After Sacrament meeting the bishop asked all women over 21 to stand up for a bag of chocolate kisses and a bookmark, and one of these girls didn't want to stand up. I walked over to her and held her by the shoulders and told her she better stand up, she deserves to, but maybe I should have left her alone. Hard to tell. Sometimes you just want to ignore it all, other times it helps to have someone else recognize your pain. I was happy to see my other friend, Vanessa, who had just had a miscarriage last Mother's Day, standing smiling and glowing, 25 weeks pregnant with her little girl.
After church I tried to give back to Ben a little by letting him take a nap with Mosey. He actually didn't get back up until I got the big boys in bed for the night. So I'm kind of a good wife, too, I guess! Ben's been under major pressure at work, though, and hasn't gotten enough sleep that's for sure.
So Monday and Tuesday were sort of yucky days, full of rain and getting nothing done. The good side of all the rain is that it appears Ben and I (mostly Ben) fixed the leak in our roof. We got an estimate almost a year ago and the damage was going to be like $1600. Then after the hurricanes it became downright impossible to even book any roofers, so we decided what the heck we'll try and fix it ourselves. Well Sunday night was the LOUDEST rainstorm I can remember, and no leak!! We still have to get a whole bunch of replacement roof tiles (out of stock everywhere-- go figure), but after those are installed we'll be ready for another hurricane season. We better get cracking on that. Actually the storms down here on Monday were so bad that there is a whole new rash of building condemnations from additional roof damage that didn't get fixed yet from the hurricanes last year. Sad. Lots and lots of blue roofs still up around here and hurricane season only 2 weeks away.

Joseph has, over the last 3 days or so, turned into my little valley-boy. I'm not sure where he has picked this up, but it seems almost every other word is "like." It really cracks me up, but I'm trying not to call attention to it because I think it will probably pass on its own. Brigham hasn't started doing that, but we'll see if his speech patterns are strongly influenced by Joseph. Joseph also told me that he wants to be an animal scientist when he grows up and that Mosey can work in the same office as him. And that Mosey can live with him too, until he is big enough to have his own house. Cute, huh?
Brigham, my dear sweet little guy, is the chief culprit responsible for my auditory fatigue these days. He simply must vocalize each and every little thought that comes into his head. I have no idea how many tens of thousands of words he utters each day, but it is pretty astounding. This has gotten me into a bit of trouble, though, because I simply can NOT pay attention to each and every thing he says (particularly when 2 other boys are talking at the same time). And I do admit to zoning out now and then and just agreeing with him, or giving non-committal answers. So anyway, apparently a couple of days ago I agreed to take him to the dollar store if he was quiet in the car (which I am quite SURE he was not-- it would have been a momentous occasion for him to be quiet in the car). Well, he hasn't forgotten about this committment and was reminding me constantly about it. Finally this morning, when he was in my room at 6:15 AM asking to go to the dollar store before school, Ben told him he had to do some chores and then he would get a dollar for the dollar store. So he happily picked up some toys and after school we headed to the dollar store. What do my boys pick out? Well, guns, of course. These are the first real toy guns they have had, aside from squirt guns. They came with a little police kit including suction cup darts, police shades, handcuffs, radio, and shield. The boys had a FABULOUS time playing with these toys this afternoon, until Mosey got tired of being the badguy and constantly getting handcuffed. So, do I just go with it? I think I'm ok with them playing with toy guns when the game is police and bad guys, and not just the boys being bad guys. I don't know, chances are those cheap dollar store toys will break in about a day and a half and it won't be an issue anymore. I am not very worried about my boys' sense of morality, though. We talk about right and wrong constantly and choosing the right and being honest and good and all of that. And they are good little boys.

Mosey, however, is turning into a 2 and a half year old. It's amazing how quickly this is happening. I'm telling you, it has been in the past WEEK that the transformation has taken place. My formerly easy-going, go-with-the-flow, happy-go-lucky little guy is getting WHINY and STUBBORN and DEFIANT. Oh, so sad!! Please let this only be temporary insanity on his part! He is doing naughty things just to see if he can get away with it, and when he can't, he throws a fit (major fit a couple of days ago when I wouldn't let him keep spilling his juice on the floor). He gets up on the table repeatedly and refuses to get down. He climbs up on the counters (trick he learned from Joseph), and of course can't get down, and so screams until I get him down and then does it immediately again. Throws food he decides he doesn't want. Tears Brigham's drawings. Knocks down a very complicated airport the big boys built in their bedroom. Hits with a stick and won't stop even after time outs. When he sits on my lap on the computer (which is whenever I'm at the computer and he's awake), he kicks out and slams the keyboard under the desk so I can't type, or else he pounds on the keyboard so I can't type. And then gets extremely angry when I put him off of my lap. If I'm laying down he'll come and JUMP on me just for the reaction. What am I going to do? I think part of the problem is that he is bored when the boys are off at school. He used to be satisfied just sort of following me around, or playing by himself, but not so much anymore. I know he is going to be very happy when school is out (only 7 more days, sob, sob!!). I'm not sure WHAT he is going to do next year when the boys are in Kindergarten. I think I'm really going to have to find a preschool for him to go to a few mornings a week. I really have NO idea what to do with an only-child at home! Really, it is weird. With the boys at preschool only 3 hours, our time is pretty much spent getting him fed and dressed, a few chores done, maybe some errands, he'll watch Little Einsteins, and then we get the boys. But until 2:00 every afternoon? He'll be totally lost, and I have no idea how to entertain just ONE child! We will certainly drive each other crazy.
Ok, this is way too long for one night. Sorry about that. Hope you all have lovely Thursdays and all that.