Tomorrow I have two seven year olds!

Joseph, just after birth



Brigham arrived just 5 minutes later


Seven years ago right now, I was in agony. It was 8:00 PM Utah time and I was just about ready to ask for my epidural. I had grand designs to wait until I was 6 centimeters, but when the contractions hit hard, I didn't last too long. I think I managed 2 or 3 hours of really intense contractions, and then I was done. I ended up with my epidural around 8:30, so this time of night was the worst of it.

I went in for my induction at noon on the 21st, and thought for sure I'd have them on the 21st! I thought it was a little unfortunate that they'd miss being born on their uncle Brigham's birthday by just one day, but at 38 weeks, I was ready! But, as sometimes happens, after 10+ weeks of bedrest, my body suddenly decided being pregnant with twins wasn't so bad after all! By the time the pitocin actually got started, it was later on in the afternoon, but even still it took quite a long time for any kind of contraction pattern to kick in.

Then, after my epidural (I found out I was only at 3 centimeters-- how embarrassing!!), naturally labor slowed down. I was able to sleep off and on during the night, and my doctor was extremely patient during my very long labor, never once even mentioning the possibility of needing a C-section.

Finally by around 7:00 the next morning I was complete and ready to get the babies into this world! Then Joseph (oh my goodness, I think it was Joseph! Maybe it was Brigham? I'll have to go back and look in my journal, but I think it was Joseph) started to have pretty severe heart decels with each contraction, and things got a little crazy. The doctors and nurses got their teams ready, I was wheeled into the OR just in case an emergency C-section was needed, and by 7:25 AM, after just three contractions, Joseph was born! It was the longest labor and the shortest pushing time, which was actually just fine with me. Joseph didn't make much sound when he was born, and I was worried, but my mom and Ben were there and could see that he was pink and healthy.

Brigham was a stinker and, although he was transverse in the womb, laying across the top of Joseph, after Joseph got out of the way, he decided to flip feet down instead of head down like a cooperative little baby would have done! But the doctor wasn't fazed (I loved this doctor), and just pulled him out by his little feet, and at 7:30 AM, both of my boys were finally here!

Brigham cried a little more than Joseph, but both boys were very quiet. In fact, Joseph just had this tiny little mewing cry, like a little kitten, for a few days. Brigham would kind of mewl back to him when they were lying next to each other in the hospital bassinet, it was so cute.

After they were born and I cuddled them for a minute, they were taken back to the nursery to be checked out, and I got wheeled back to my L&D room to finally eat something. I hadn't eaten anything since early the morning before, and that was just a little bit (toast I think) because I was so nervous, so I was starved! I had a big breakfast of pancakes and other good stuff, which almost immediately I threw up. Notice a pattern in my life? :-)

But the boys were brought into the room and passed around amongst my mom, Ben's mom, Rosalynde, Naomi, and of course Ben and I. I spent the morning examining them to make sure I could identify which twin was which. They didn't look that much alike, once I got to looking at them closely.

We had a good hospital stay. The nurses looked after the boys at night so I could sleep, bringing them in just for nursing, and then during the days I had plenty of family visiting so I could get some rest before coming home. It really was a pretty idyllic twin labor and delivery.

I was sooooo happy to have those two little babies. They were a long-time coming for us. Lots of time and tears and money, but it was all worth it when they were finally here, safe and sound.

Now they are going to be seven years old! I still look at them and marvel that they are here and they are really my sons. The responsibility still is pretty overwhelming. But they give me joy every day and considering everything else that has transpired in my life since then, I am unbelievably grateful that they are here. I am profoundly grateful for the medical technology that enabled these two people to come into existence, for my husband who so patiently (though I'm sure sometimes with bafflement) went along with my single-minded quest to have a baby (or two).

At the time, I know many people (including myself sometimes) thought we should just be patient, not go crazy and go into so much debt and do more extreme treatments when we were both still so young, with so many child-bearing years (so we thought) ahead of us. But I had this insatiable drive to continue on our path, and our families and friends were supportive, even if confused at times.

Now, of course, I look back and realize that if we had not gone through with our IVF cycles and finally had success with Brigham and Joseph, my family would certainly not look like it looks today. We would have Mosey, and that would be it. Mosey would not have his brothers, I would not have a houseful of running feet, little boys voices yelling after each other, three little people to share their childhood and be the light of my life.

So tonight, I am very grateful. There are many things in my life I probably would not have chosen, but I couldn't have chosen more perfectly the children that I have.

God has blessed me beyond reason. I can't question why he has blessed me with my children when there are so many other couples still desperately waiting. All I know is that I am so lucky and I just hope I can fulfill my end of my bargain with God. He's lent me these little guys for a while here on Earth, and I promise to get them back to him at least not too much the worse for wear!

So, on the eve of your seventh birthday, Joseph and Brigham, I love you more than I can even describe to myself.

Love,
Mom