Houston report

OK, it's been a week since I've updated my blog and a lot has happened.
To make a long (long) story short, here's the facebook update I posted from my hospital room on Thursday afternoon:

 My MRI is clear! For anyone who was waiting to hear, this is great news. No progression of my MS for four years, thanks to the miracles of modern medicine. I wouldn't recommend a bone marrow transplant for a fun time, but I'm sure grateful i got this second chance at life. After 4 days, 4 doctors' visits, 1 MRI, 1 leukopheresis, 3 blood draws, 4 IVs, and 1 spinal tap, my appointments are done and i don't have to come back to Houston for another year!!! Yay!!

Now for the nitty-gritty details that probably no one really cares about, but I feel compelled to write anyway.  :-)  There are pictures, too!
Last Saturday evening, my sister Rosalynde and three of her children drove down from St. Louis.  It is a long 12 hour drive with a 3, 6, and 8 year old, especially when the portable DVD player broke partway through the drive.  But they are good sports and made it here just fine.
On Sunday we went to church.  I had to leave partway through with Mosey who had a bad stomach ache.  I was very worried it would turn into a stomach virus and wreak havoc with our trip to Houston, but after a few hours he was back to himself.  We ate lunch, packed our suitcases, loaded up the car, and headed out to Houston in the midst of a huge downpour.
The drive to Houston was fine, once we were out of the rain.  In fact, it was downright beautiful, after all the rain we've had the past few weeks.  And having my sister to talk to mostly distracted me from the mounting anxiety I usually feel as I get closer to the city.
We stayed in a Best Western-- actually the same one I stayed at four years ago when I went in to get my central line placed and my first apheresis.  What a difference four years makes!
On Monday morning the kids enjoyed their beloved hotel breakfast, and then went swimming for a couple of hours before Rosalynde and I left for MD Anderson.  We got a call that Rachel (our little sister) was finally in labor!  Happy news for a stressful morning.
I got blood drawn at the fast track lab, and then hung out in the Sun Dial for a couple of hours until my appointment with Dr. Popat.  Meanwhile Rosalynde took the kids to a park, then to lunch, and then settled them into our hotel room watching the National Geographic channel before coming to join me.
Everything was fine with my appointments.  They got me in to see Dr. Popat as fast as they ever have-- I was done with that appointment in an hour, which is truly a miracle.
MD Anderson is a hard place for me, which makes me feel like a jerk, because I realize how very fortunate I am compared to all the other patients there, especially the ones waiting at the 8th floor fast track lab and the stem cell clinic.  That's partly why it's hard for me-- to be so dramatically confronted with the pain and sadness of so many people.  Not one of them wants to be there.  But everyone was nice, the volunteers in the Sun Dial hospitality room were as nice as ever-- one cute old man in particular was very solicitous of me and got me ice water and a pillow so I could lay back and rest on the chair I was on.
Anyway, after seeing Dr. Popat and checking in at the apheresis clinic to get checked out for my leukopheresis on Wednesday, we went back to the hotel and picked up the kids and went to the water wall.  That is one of my favorite places in Houston.
Of course, with all the rain we've had, the big grassy area in front of the water wall was muddy, and before long 3 out of the 6 children were pretty well covered in mud.  Oh well.  :-)
Here are some pictures.  Some kids were less excited than others to pose for pictures.  :-)

The kids enjoyed a rousing game of "Red Rover" before we left the park.  And no one broke their arm-- bonus!

After rinsing off as best we could using water from the fountain, we headed over to the Galleria for dinner at the food court, and then went back to the hotel.

Tuesday morning I was the most nervous.  I had my neurological workup with Dr. Hutton at 9:30.  Rosalynde took me over there and helped me calm down so my heart rate wasn't through the roof when the nurse took my vitals.  :-)  Everything went fine, though.  The neurological testing they did (25 minute timed walking test, math/memory test, dexterity peg test, and then the regular neurological physical exam) went smoothly, and apparently showed no change from a year ago.  They drew about 20 vials of blood for who knows what mysterious research purposes, and then I was free to go.  There is no logical reason for me to get so anxious and nervous for these appointments!  I know that, but I can't control it.  The only snag was my 100 meter walking test.  Dr. Hutton has let me video this at home for the last couple of years.  So last Thursday night I set up my video camera and set off on my 10 lengths of the family room and hallway.  But on my last lap, I lost my balance and had to lean up against the wall, which would technically cut off my distance at 77 meters.  However, this has happened before, and I just waited a couple of days and tried again with no problem.  The trouble this year was that I didn't get a chance to try again before we had to go to Houston.  I hoped Dr. Hutton would just give me a pass, but I knew he wouldn't.  However, he is letting me try again at home sometime over the next month and send him the video via email so I don't have to drive out there again.  Thank goodness.

After my neuro appointments, we went back to the hotel and picked up the kids.  We stopped at Krogers to pick up some groceries for lunch, and then drove down to the Houston Museum of Natural Science.  We had a picnic in front of the museum, and then spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the museum.  It is a great museum!  We watched the huge Foucault's Pendulum knock over a few pegs, went through the dinosaur hall, the energy hall (which was really cool-- it was all about oil drills and wells and refineries and I learned so much!), and the gem hall (which was especially exciting when the power for the entire museum went out while we were in the precious gems vault and left in the pitch black until the emergency generators kicked in).  Then we went down to the basement to see the real Egyptian mummy (which was pretty thrilling for my boys who have been on a Rick Riordan kick this summer).  Before we left the museum (just before closing), Jack and Brigham took a ride on the gyro-something-or-other which looked terrifying, but was apparently fun for them.  It's this giant gyroscope in which the boys were strapped in and then sent on a whirling and tumbling ride before finally coming to a stop.  After watching a few of these rides, none of the other kids were too keen on giving it a go.  :-)

Here are some pictures.

Brigham was having a very serious conversation with this Zebra.  :-)

 That's Mara, Miles, Jack, and Brigham watching museum-goers down below.    At one point (not here), the kids were all watching the giant pendulum from an upper balcony when Miles the monkey climbed up nearly to the top of the railing and about put me into cardiac arrest.  Three year olds are scary!!

After the museum, Rosalynde dropped me off at Texas Children's for my MRI and then took the boys home to the hotel for pizza and a movie.  My MRI went just fine, aside from the nurse messing up on my IV and having to poke me several times in the hand.  Ouch.  I'm a pro when it comes to needle sticks, but I still do hate getting IVs placed in my hands.  It just hurts.  But the MRI was fine-- just over an hour this time, so not too bad.  I got to watch the first half of "Enchanted" on the super-cool movie goggles.  Then I was done and Rosalynde came to pick me up and I had another appointment checked off my list!

Wednesday morning was my leukopheresis at MD Anderson.  Rosalynde dropped me off at 8:30, but in more typical MD Anderson fashion (at least on the 8th floor of the main building), it was more than an hour before the nurse was ready to get me all hooked up.  Rosalynde got the kids settled at the hotel and then came and sat with me through most of the procedure.  In the leukopheresis, they put IV's in both my elbows, drawing blood out from one arm, circulating it through a big extraction machine where the stem cells are filtered out, before going back into my other arm.  They had to circulate my blood volume only one time, so I was hooked up to the machine for a little over an hour-- not enough time to get bone-chilled-cold like I did when they did the stem cell extraction before my transplant.  The worst thing about it was the giant needles in my arms-- I couldn't bend my arms at all lest the needle puncture through my vein (makes me shiver to think about it), and by the end of the procedure my arms were killing me.  But again, conversation with my sister made it all go so much faster than it would otherwise have.  :-)

After that, we left MD Anderson for the last time this year (yay!), and headed back to the hotel to pick up the kids and drive over to the Houston Space Center.  This ended up being the highlight of the trip for my boys, and it was really, really cool.  I had been one other time-- about a million years ago when I was 17 and my family drove out to Houston to drop me off at Rice University for my freshman year.  It was pretty cool coming back again, this time with my own children.  Joseph loved it, especially the tour of Mission Control.  The Space Center has lots of great exhibits and films and presentations.  The kids all got to see moon rocks and walk through a mock-up space shuttle and ride in a flight simulator.  The flight simulator was a bit too realistic for Mosey who kind of freaked out when it turned upside down the first time.  Poor kid was pretty upset at the end of the ride.  Happily the other kids thought it was great.  There were TV screens showing the people inside the simulators, and it was really fun to watch Joseph and Jack and Brigham pretty much having the time of their lives.  :-)  We stayed until the very bitter end (I love feeling like we got our money's worth) before heading out by way of the gift shop where Mosey relieved himself of some of the money burning a hole in his pocket by buying a model Saturn V rocket which he has been playing with nonstop ever since, so I guess it was $3.50 well spent.

Here are some pictures:

 Stair-step kids!  It was so fun to see this gaggle of kids all together.  I sure would have loved to have had a few more.  These kids could just about pass for siblings I think.  Poor Miss Mara was totally outnumbered this trip, but it didn't seem to phase her.  She is a cool girl.

 Brigham and the moon rocks.  In the picture below, he's touching a rock from the moon.  Cool!

Here are the kids on the tram tour to see Mission Control and Saturn V.

 These cute kids got to sit up in the front car with me, since I was in my wheelchair.
Rosalynde took the other kids in the second car with her.  Jack and Joseph were pretty inseparable this trip.  :-)

I'm pretty sure these three are up to no good.  :-)

 Mosey with his camo hat and his bat, both of which have been going everywhere with him recently.

 Can you tell how excited Mosey was to be posing for a picture on his mom's lap?  I'm attempting to put myself in at least ONE picture per trip, so Brigham was nice enough to take this one for me.

The whole gang in front of Saturn V.  It is so unbelievably HUGE.

Mosey trying on a space helmet and trying out his newest weird face.  :-)

After our day at the Space Center, we drove back toward the medical center, stopped by Taco Cabana for fajitas and then went back to the hotel to eat and watch Star Trek.  I was so tired, but it was a fun day.

Thursday morning Rosalynde and her kids headed back up to St. Louis.  We went down to the lobby for one final hotel breakfast together before Rosalynde loaded up her car, strapped in her kids, and braved the drive back home.  Jack and Elena were going on a Welch family church history tour the very next day, so Rosalynde HAD to get back to St. Louis that night.  I know all the kids would have loved one more day together, but it won't be long before they see each other at Cousin's Camp at my mom's house.
Her drive back home ended up being rather grueling as her GPS took her a different route in which they got caught in a THREE HOUR traffic jam when the interstate was shut down in Arkansas before they got to the Missouri border.  They left at 8:00 AM and didn't get back until 1:00 in the morning.  They did so well, though-- those kids are all super-heroes and my sister is a saint.
As for us, after breakfast we went back up to our room, got all packed up, and then I left them in the hotel room and wheeled myself down the street to the Baylor Clinic (it was so lucky-- our hotel room was right next door) for my lumbar puncture.  I got there at 9:30 for a supposedly 10:00 procedure, but they didn't get me into the room until more like 11:00.  I had been hoping I'd be done by 12:00, so I could get back to the hotel room and check-out, but that was not to be.
The lumbar puncture was fine.  It's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but the doctor did a great job and the headache wasn't too bad.  They are super-strict though, and made me stay lying flat for TWO HOURS after the procedure.  That's a long time.  And I have to say, it's a pretty awful feeling to be laying on a hospital bed, being wheeled out to recovery for a mandatory 2 hour period, and to suddenly realize that you have to pee.  :-)  Thankfully, I had a nurse who took pity on me and let me up into my wheelchair to use the bathroom after only 20 minutes.
The very best part of the day came when Susan, Dr. Hutton's research nurse, came to pick up the vials of spinal fluid.  She came bearing excellent news of my MRI-- no changes from last year!  I had been so nervous all morning long-- not because of the spinal tap, but because I knew I'd be getting the results of my MRI (Susan told me she'd have them by Thursday when I talked to her at my Tuesday neuro appointment).  My heart was going a hundred miles an hour when I heard her come into the room.  But it was blessedly good news, and even more blessedly, I don't have to go through the torture of waiting for days for the phone call from the nurse telling me my results.  As soon as she left I was on the phone to Ben and my mom to tell them the good news.  I felt like a thousand pounds had lifted from my shoulders.
Meanwhile, my friend Stephanie arrived from Austin and picked up my boys from the hotel.  She took them to lunch and to Half-Price Books (my boys love and adore Stephanie because she always treats them to something special), and then came back to Baylor to pick me up.  The clinic would not let me leave without a driver coming to get me, and in fact they were pretty annoyed with me that I hadn't brought her with me to the appointment.  That seems crazy to me-- she was supposed to sit there for four and a half hours in a hospital just so she could drive me home?  The nurse was very stern, lecturing me that I really should have brought my driver to the clinic WITH me, and she'd have to talk to the radiologist to see if she would go ahead with the procedure or make me reschedule.  Whatever.  The first spinal tap I ever had was just in Dr. Hutton's office-- I sat up, leaning against a pillow, he put the needle in, got the fluid, I lay back down for 15 minutes, and then walked out of the doctor's office and drove myself home.  So it seemed like all the precautions here were a bit of an overkill.  But I was pretty sore afterward, and it was nice not to have to drive home myself, and even nicer because I got to talk to my friend all the way back home.
Our drive home was uneventful except for one quick backtrack to the hotel to pick up my crutches that had accidentally been left in our room (thankfully we hadn't even gotten on the freeway before we realized they were missing).  On our way out of Houston we stopped at Sonic for a celebratory cream slush, and pulled in front of our house at around 6:45 PM.  I was HOME!  No more Houston for another year! 

07/12/2012

1.  I went out of my room this morning to find Brigham hard at work cleaning the kitchen.  UNASKED.  He did a really good job of it, too.  He is such a good boy.  I sat down at the kitchen table to slice up some bananas, and when he saw the pile of banana peels on the table, I could tell that he was sad I was messing up his beautifully clean table.  That made me so happy.  Know why?  Because one of my biggest goals for having the boys help out more around the house is for them to feel more ownership of the house-- to care about keeping it looking clean, because they were the ones who cleaned it!  And it's working!  At least, for Brigham.
I did wash off the kitchen table again after I was done with the bananas.  :-)

2.  Brigham was also the first to get all his practicing done.  He's fully embraced the idea of getting work done first so he has lots of uninterrupted time to play.

3.  In the afternoon I took the boys and Natasha down to the boulder park to explore.  On the way to pick up Natasha, I gave the boys strict instructions NOT to do anything stupid, and to keep a close eye on Natasha to make sure she didn't get hurt.  There is a lot of water down there, and a huge waterfall pouring down the boulders.  I haven't seen it, but I can imagine it could be dangerous, and that makes me nervous because I can't be down there, and can't supervise or help if someone does get hurt.  Joseph assured me he had a pocketful of band-aids just in case.  :-)  The didn't get hurt and spent almost 2 hours down there, climbing around, finding snake skins, picking flowers, and getting very, very wet.  Mosey found the coolest looking walking stick/staff down there.  I'm glad they went, and wish I could have gone with them!!!

 4.  The boys have all been getting along pretty well recently.  Except for some instances of passive aggressive stuff that is hard for me to know how to deal with.  This morning, Joseph and Brigham were drawing.  I think Brigham was drawing a robot, and Joseph was drawing a battleship.  From what I could tell, they got into a "discussion" about the plausibility of the designs they were making, mostly questioning the plausibility of the other's design.  :-) So (and I'm practicing piano with Mosey at the time, so I'm not really sure how it went down), Joseph drew this passive-aggressive picture and gave it to Brigham:

Not surprisingly, Brigham ripped it up.
Then Joseph got mad, saying that Brigham ripped up his drawing.  So Joseph got another drawing of Brigham's, and scribbled on the back of it.  Which didn't help matters.
Then Joseph made another drawing:

And at this point they came and got me involved.  I didn't see the first drawing (it was in the trash), or I might have changed my response.  Anyway, I got mad at both of them and told them they are not allowed to rip up or scribble on any drawing except ones they made themselves.  Which seems reasonable, except that I believe Joseph did actually give that first drawing to Brigham.
Anyway, this kind of picking on each other is frustrating and makes me sad.  I want them to be sunshine and love and happiness toward each other all the time.  Is that too much to ask?  :-)
The cartoons are pretty funny.  I told Brigham he should be flattered, because Joseph obviously believes that Brigham is a genius, and is better than everyone at everything.  I don't think he was buying that, though.

few more pictures

Here are a couple of more.
I took these on the night of the 4th, and I like the moody feel of them.

This is from last weekend when we got our new books for this coming school year.  The boys will have read all of these by the time the school year ends!  Joseph was so excited to look through everything.  He's already started on the first book assigned.

And here's Mosey in his new camouflage hat.  He made that lego helicopter he's playing with.  Mosey loves, loves, loves legos and can build really great things.

picture pity party

I didn't get any good shots of my family on the 4th of July.
One of the things I really hate about MS is that I miss all the good pictures I could take.  There are a couple of other mommy-bloggers that I follow who post the most wonderful photographs of their lives, and I get so jealous.  I want to take pictures like those.  I want to make have those memories (and for me, pictures are essential for preserving memories).  I can SEE how to get the good shot, I just can't GET there, and it is so maddening. 
On the night of the 4th, we spread out a sheet on a strip of grass on a slope just below where the orchestra was playing.  It was a good spot, but I couldn't get around on my wheelchair at all because there were hundreds of people all around.  Finally I sat down on the sheet, and then I really was stuck.  Any pictures I took had to be taken from right where I was.  So, no good pictures.  Just super boring face shots.  Ugh.
I mean, it's not like I'm going to lack in photographic evidence of my kids' childhoods, I know that.  But I really love photography, and I love getting the perfect angle, the shot that really tells the story.  And 90% of the time I can't do it.  I love the idea of taking a photo a day, but since I'm confined to the SAME height, and the SAME stupid route around my house in my wheelchair, my options for photographs are very limited.  Good photography is all about finding the right angle, the right vantage point, the right light.  And doing that requires you to be able to MOVE. 
My boys do awesome things outside that I can't get to.  Today they went down to the boulder park which I am sure is the very most beautiful it ever could be with all the water we've had.  I can imagine the pictures I could take there!  Not to mention actually getting to be with my children out there in nature instead of waiting for them in my car. 
I've adjusted pretty well to my limitations with MS.  I can still do a lot of what I could do before, even if it is differently.  And I hate even to complain because I know how very much more I could be limited.  And maybe I will be someday, and thinking back on these days as the "good old days."
But there are some things I haven't adjusted to.  I'll tell you want I miss the most.  I miss running.  I miss it so much.  I look at everyone around me who *can* run, and I can't understand why they don't!  :-)  I miss the quiet of the night, the time alone to think.  I miss experiencing the different kinds of weather.  I miss all the things there are to see and smell (it's interesting how scents are so much more noticeable at night when  visual input is reduced) on a 6 mile loop through the neighborhood or on trails.  I miss pushing my body to go faster.  I miss the feeling of exhilaration when you really hit your stride.  I miss sweating!  I can't ever get hot enough to sweat, because if I do I'll be collapsed on the floor unable to see or move.  I miss running a lot.
(On a side note: I had a dream the other night about running-- it was a variation on a theme I have in lots of dreams-- I suddenly realize I *can* walk, and I wonder why I thought it was so hard before.  But in this dream, I realized that even if I couldn't walk, I could run!  I wondered whether I'd be allowed to run for my walking test in Houston instead of walk.  :-))
And the other thing I really miss is photography.  Taking the kind of pictures that are really satisfying to me is physically exhausting, and often simply physically impossible.
So, that's my pity party for tonight.  I should just stop looking at those other blogs that make me so sad.  But I probably won't, because I love beautiful photography.

 Anyway, here are my pathetic attempts at pictures of my boys on the 4th of July:

Mosey is the king of weird faces.  It used to be Brigham, but Mosey's got him beat.  :-)

07/11/2012

1.  More RAIN!  Our backyard is a big mudpit.  Joseph loves it.  All the boys went out for a couple of minutes after it first started, until the thunder and lightning started in earnest.  Brigham and Mosey went inside, and Joseph and Sandy stayed under the back porch to enjoy the show.  Sandy is not a bit afraid of thunder.  It surprised me a little-- I'm kind of scared of it! 

2.  Earlier in the day, Brigham and Joseph had a great idea for how to get some quick cash. 
Brigham chained Joseph to a tree, and then held a sign saying, "Pay me $300 or I will not let him go."

Sadly, our part of the street is not well-traveled, and it got awfully hot before any of the passersby decided to take pity on poor Joseph.  So they went back inside and played Civilization for a while.  :-)

3.  When Ben got home yesterday evening he took Joseph and Mosey on a bike ride (well, he was running, and the boys were riding).  All the rain has the stream down in Bull Hollow really, really full.  I wish I could get down there!  The boys said there is a massive waterfall and the only way around is to climb up on some cliffs to get up around it.  On second thought, maybe it's a good thing I couldn't get down there...  The boys came home with SOAKED shoes.  Sandy was soaked through and through.  Mosey was so excited about it.  He went on and on about how cool it was, and how he takes the outside for granted until he really sees how awesome it is. 

07/10/2012

1.  More rain today!  Joseph asked me if the rain meant the drought is over.  I hope so!  I don't know how much rain it will take to fill the lake back up, but wow, this July sure beats last July.  We were actually a little bit cold tonight when we went out on the back porch to look at the rain pouring off the roof.  Joseph wanted to run out in the rain, but I wouldn't let him because of all the lightning.

2.  We had piano lessons in the morning, and then we went to Walmart for grocery shopping and new-church-clothes-shopping.  Joseph was in tears Sunday morning, not wanting to go to church.  Turns out his only clean church pants are too small!  Too short, too tight around the waist.  Man, that kid keeps growing.  Mosey bought himself a camo baseball cap, to match his camo lizard shirt he was wearing.  Too cute-- I need to take a picture!  After Walmart, we stopped by the Andersons to drop off some cleaning rags and popsicles, and to say goodbye.  We will miss them.

3.  This afternoon/evening we had a 24 marathon.  I was having major anxiety all afternoon and wasn't up for anything else.  I need this whole Houston stuff to be over before I have a heart attack.  Anyway, I think we watched 4 or 5 episodes almost in a row (with a break for taking the garbage out and cleaning up the trash can area, another for dinner, and another for cleaning up and getting ready for bed).

07/09/2012

1.  I woke up this morning with a severe cramp in my left calf.  I could not bear weight on it at ALL.  This is bad timing!!!!!  Ben helped to stretch and massage it a little bit, but every time that muscle reached a certain level of stretch, my leg started spasming.  It's gotten a little better over the day, but I still definitely can't walk on it.  This is really bad for my walking test.  I'm praying I wake up tomorrow and it is gone.  :-(

2.  We got RAIN today!  I love it.  It rained a lot last night (I love the sound of rain on the roof at night), and then today we had several really good showers.  Enough rain this afternoon that we had a great big puddle across a big part of our back lawn.  What a difference from last year!!

3.  Because of the rain, the boys spent most of the day inside.  And most of their time playing Civilization on the computer.  I was no good at policing computer time today.  They did get their practicing done, so that's something.  I wasn't feeling too awesome today anyway (because of my leg) and wasn't really up to cheer-leading the boys into playing games or doing a craft or art project, so I can't really blame them.  A computer game to distract *me* probably would have been good.

catch-up

OK, here's a list of notables from the last few days:

Saturday was a house-cleaning extravaganza.  The boys and I did a pretty thorough job of the whole house.  I was so proud of them because there was almost no complaining or fighting the whole time.  Miracle.  Each boy had to pick up and vacuum their own room.  Then we had 6 other jobs, of which each boy picked two (we drew slips of paper to avoid arguments).  Those jobs were:
1.  Clean hall bathroom
2.  Help mom clean master bathroom
3.  Vacuum all of downstairs
4.  Clean the kitchen
5.  Help mom mop downstairs
6.  Odds and ends (vacuum upstairs hall, empty all trashcans, organize food in pantry, and other little things I had for them to do)

All in all, it went pretty well.  Although it still took about 4 hours for me, since I needed to help with several of the jobs.  I'm hoping as time goes on the boys will get more independent and I'll have to do less!  I was pretty wiped out afterward.

Friday morning we went to a friend's apartment complex to go swimming.  Well, the boys went swimming and I watched.  The boys had a great time-- that apartment has an awesome pool-- actually a couple of different pools with various features.  I was expecting the boys to swim for half an hour or so and then be asking to go home.  But they swam for more than an hour and a half, and I was the one who had to tell them it was time to go because it was getting too hot for me outside.

We put an offer on a house.  Don't get excited, it was rejected, as we expected it would be.  It is a great house.  It has everything on my checklist of what I am looking for in a house, plus some.  But the price reflected that.  The owners would have been silly to accept our offer.
Our house-addition project is pretty much killed.  The good appraisal our house got actually killed it, which surprised me a little bit.  I thought Ben would be more inclined to add on after he saw how much our house has gone up.  I was thinking in terms of actual monetary burden-- taking the increase in value of our house, and subtracting that from the cost of adding on, to get the actual amount extra that we'd have to sell our house for in order to be at the same place we are now, financially.  If that had been the equation, it would have been a no-brainer to add on.  But, and I understand his reasoning, Ben thinks it is more reasonable to look at how much our house is worth now, and then add on the cost of the remodel on top of that, plus another 6 percent (in realtor's fees), and that's how much we'd have to be able to sell our house for, with the addition, in order to have the same financial advantage we'd have now if we sold our house at the new higher price.  And he's not convinced we could do that.  Looking at what other houses are selling for, there are definitely houses with the same square footage and yard-size that ours would be that are selling for that much, and more, but there are also some that are not selling for that much, so it's not a slam-dunk.  And Ben is looking for a slam-dunk.  Which I understand.
That's also the reason for the really low offer on the dream house.  He wants a slam-dunk, so that if we had to, we could turn around and sell it again without losing any money.  Meaning he only wants the house for at least 6% off the reasonable asking price.  We offered 10% off the asking price, and they wouldn't even negotiate, so that's that.
I'm not sure where that leaves us.  I guess it leaves us here in this house doing nothing to it, unless at some point we find some other house that is a "slam-dunk."  I'm not holding my breath.  :-)  And honestly, I don't want to move.  I like a lot of things about this house, I absolutely and positively hate and despise showing and selling a house, and the thought of somehow packing and then unpacking a house seems completely impossible to me.  Physically, I just don't think I can do it.  I'm really particular about organization and how things need to be arranged and put away, and I know it would be really hard for me to have someone else do it.  And I'm pretty sentimentally attached to this house.  This is the house where my kids were little.  I have lots of memories in this house.  This is the last house I will have lived in where I could walk. To move out of this house would feel like closing a door permanently on my boys' early childhood, and my own "normal" life. 
Meanwhile, I'm looking at rearranging our downstairs somehow.  Maybe we can consolidate the playroom to give more room for some work-space for the boys?  Maybe we could move the playroom upstairs and 2 of the boys could share a room?  I don't love that idea, because one of the main reasons for having the playroom downstairs was so that the boys would be spending time downstairs together as a family, and not holed up in their rooms upstairs.  Also I would be able to monitor the playroom organization (which, from my experience is pretty important-- it turns into an unusable chaotic mess pretty quickly if I don't keep my eye on it :-)).  And none of the boys want to share a room.
So, I don't know.  Ben thinks it might be better for the boys to learn to work in a smaller space anyway-- to learn to be tolerant of other people's noises, and to learn to be courteous in  return.  Those are good skills to learn.  We'll be working on them this coming year, that's for sure!

OK, that ended up being a longer monologue on our house than I intended it to be.

What else from the last few days?

On Saturday night I went out to eat with 2 of the moms in our homeschool art group.  One of them is moving to Utah this next weekend, so it was a goodbye of sorts.  I hate goodbyes.  It was a nice evening-- conversation with these ladies is always therapeutic, but again, I hate goodbyes.  I will miss Cheri, and my boys (especially Joseph) will miss their boys (especially Jacob) a lot.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

07/04/2012

1.  Independence Day!  I woke up to find Mosey snuggling up to me in my bed.  He had been feeling sick the night before, and fell asleep in my room.  Mosey is a super-good snuggler.  Ben had the day off of work, so we all ate breakfast together as a family it was great.

2.  After breakfast we stopped off at Target to get a prescription, and so Joseph could quickly look through the bikes they have there.  None of them fit what Joseph is hoping for.
After that we drove down to Pflugerville to the shooting range.  But it was 11:00 when we got there, and there was already a long line of people waiting to shoot, and we decided to postpone it until Saturday when Ben has more time.

3.  We stopped by the other house again so that the other boys could look at it.  I sure wish it were about $50,000 cheaper!

4.  At home, everyone needed to pitch in and CLEAN UP.  Sadly, it ended up mostly in frustration.  I would so love my boys to work happily WITH each other, but instead things deteriorate rapidly with various children whining, bossing, complaining that they're doing more work than anyone else, and pretty much driving me crazy.  I'm going to have to give each child individual, detailed instructions for every job around the house, and try to make sure they are equivalent jobs so that, if each boy finishes his job, it really will be an equal division of labor.  But why oh why can't they simply work TOGETHER.  Every boy do his part!

5.  We had some friends come over for swimming and a late lunch.  It's so much more fun to celebrate WITH other people!  Even though their kids are a lot younger than mine, I think it was still more fun for them than swimming on their own.  We had brisket, hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, watermelon, and salad.  I always over eat on the 4th of July...

6.  In the evening we went to the Austin Symphony concert in the park and fireworks display.  There were no fireworks at all last year because of the drought, so it was nice to come back this year.  Joseph and Ben wandered the park for quite a while, people watching.  Apparently there are around 100,000 people that go to the fireworks show.  Crazy to see that many people crowded together.  We were there a couple of hours before the concert started, and managed to get a good spot on the grass just in front of the hill where the orchestra performed.  Joseph explored, Brigham read his book, and Mosey played with his Dragons.  Ben worked on his laptop (after coming back with Joseph) and I tried to stay cool (brought my cooling packs, but it was still in the 90's and plenty hot).  I did some people watching, too.  Whenever I see a lot of people together, I'm always amazed at how well so many different kinds of people can WALK.  Sounds obvious, but being in a wheelchair in a sea of walking humanity makes me, I don't know, just notice more.  And I noticed how the woman with the little poodle sitting behind us was wearing a t-shirt that said "MEXICO."  That made me laugh.  Was that on purpose?  How could it have been a mistake?  But if it was on purpose, why?  Or, if she's the kind of person that feels compelled to wear a "MEXICO" shirt on the 4th of July, why was she also at the giant fireworks celebration of the USA?  Sometimes people are confusing.  :-)  The symphony was really nice, and the fireworks were great.  It still took us forever to get home, though-- almost an hour!  There needs to be a better system for exiting the Long Center parking garage.  But while we were waiting, we read the Declaration of Independence (and talked about what it meant-- the 18th century style of writing isn't the easiest for our poor 21st Century brains to understand).
When we finally got home, it was time for rootbeer floats and BED!

Here are some obligatory fireworks shots.  We had fun!

07/03/2012

1.  Tuesday.  The boys had their speech and debate class in the afternoon.  They brought their swords and rubbermaid shields to play with afterward.  During the epic battle, Mosey came downstairs, sulking a little because the other kids wouldn't let him play with his hard plastic sword (the other kids had Nerf swords).  I can't blame them! 

2.  After debate, I took Joseph to Walmart.  He really wants to buy a bicycle.  There was one he was interested in at Walmart, so he and I took a look at it.  It looked nice, but the gear shifts were loose.  Joseph has had such bad luck with the last couple of bikes he's gotten, and I'd really rather him get something that is good quality, over cheapness.  He didn't buy one, but helped me do some shopping for the 4th of July.  Joseph is one of my favorite shopping buddies.

3.  On the way home from Walmart, Ben and Joseph and I stopped by a house near where we live now.  It's not officially on the market, but one of the realtors we talked to on Sunday as we were touring the homes, emailed Ben and told him about this one.  It's a really nice house!  The layout would actually work perfectly for what I'm looking for, and it's all one story.  I like it!  But, it is more expensive than we were hoping to spend.  We'll see.  I told Ben that this one has to be his decision. 

07/02/2012

1.  I got up this morning hoping to be fairly productive.  After breakfast, I sent the boys outside to pick up the backyard before it got too hot, and I went in the garage and gave the door I'm painting one more coat.  The rest of the day was kind of stressful because it felt like I was busy the whole day, but that I didn't exactly accomplish very much.

2.  I did manage to give the boys a thorough training in bathroom cleaning, though.  Ben took me upstairs and I showed the boys and they helped to give the boys bathroom a good scrubbing.  I wrote down a detailed 12-step process, and I'm hoping they'll be able to do it by themselves after this.

3.  Brigham got upset with me for giving them so many chores.  He said, "I hope next summer isn't going to be like this summer."  When I asked him why, he started crying and said it was because they weren't getting any free time this summer, I was just giving them chores to do all the time.  I'm sorry to say I lost it a little because the boys have had almost ALL free time this summer!  They've had a lighter chore-load than they do during the school year!  I told him that if he felt like he was overburdened with chores, it is because I have not been giving them enough chores to do.  If the little that they've been doing feels like a big deal, then they haven't been getting proper chore "workouts."  If an easy one mile run feels really hard, it's because you haven't been running long enough every day!  Poor Brigham.  He is my best helper, but that was not the right time to start crying and whining to me.
I really, really want the boys to start paying more attention and cleaning up after themselves more consistently, without me having to tell them every little thing that they need to do.  I told them I'm going to be a big nag over the next few weeks to help to remind them of this.  They're going to love it.  :-)

4.  We ended the day with FHE and a rousing game of Apples to Apples.  That's a fun game to play with my boys.  Mosey is funny-- basically you give him the card that LEAST represents the topic, and that's the one he'll pick. 

07/01/2012

1.  First day of July.  Officially my least favorite month of the year.  At least for this year and next, and then I'll be free!  I hope.  :-)  It started out pretty good, though, with a big rainstorm in the wee hours of the morning.  I love the sound of rain on the roof at night.  And it stayed nice and cool all day long!

2.  I substituted in Joseph's and Brigham's primary class today.  The lesson was on Alma's talk/lecture to his son Corianton.  A little awkward with 10 year olds, when you don't particularly want to go into WHY Alma was having to talk with his son in the first place.  :-)  But 10 years old is a fun age group.  It was interesting to see my boys interact with their classmates.  In singing time Sister Leininger had the kids draw questions about the USA, which my boys particularly liked, especially having just studied US history this year.  :-)

3.  After church I took a nap outside on the back patio because it was cool!  So nice!  Brigham made muffins for Ben's home teaching families.  Brigham is getting very inventive with his baking.  He likes to mix 2 different flavors of muffin baking mix, and then add in ingredients like cinnamon sugar and blueberry syrup.  Yum.  :-)  Later, Ben and Joseph and I went to 2 open houses for one story homes nearby.  Neither fit the bill.  I'm trying really hard to be unbiased and judge the houses on their merits.  It is hard, though, because I am very attached to our house.  Other houses just don't measure up. 

4.  In the evening the boys all pitched in to help make dinner-- Brigham made another batch of muffins for us, and I showed him how to make a streusel topping.  Our home teacher came by with his family and brought us strawberry/rhubarb crisp, and the boys entertained their two kids with our lizards. 

5.  We ended the day by eating dinner while watching 2 back-to-back episodes of 24.  Fun!

06/30/2012

1.  Joseph had archery this morning and did great!  He won the shoot-off again this morning (2 other kids also tied) and got a bag of m&m's. 

2.  After taking Joseph home, I went to my friend Melissa's house to help her take some pictures of her brand-new baby.  She wanted some pictures with her in them!  She is a photographer herself, and so is usually behind the camera.  I know the feeling.  I have very few pictures of me and my boys, and even fewer of me with my babies...  :-(
Anyway, I love taking newborn pictures.  I love newborns!  As usual, it took about 2 1/2 hours to get the baby sleepy and happy, and to get the shots we wanted.  Taking pictures is one of the times I most wish I had my legs back.  But, I think we got some great shots anyway.  I'm giving Melissa a DVD with all the raw shots, so she can do her own editing.  But I couldn't resist playing with a few of my favorites.  Here are two.

Yes, this one isn't with her mama, but she was SO zonked out at the end of the session that we couldn't resist some cutie shots like this.  :-)

3.  When I got home, Ben and the boys had been working HARD!  Ben and Brigham had gone to help with a move, and then to another woman's house in our ward to help fix her sink.  THEN Ben came home and supervised the boys in cleaning the house!  The upstairs got vacuumed, the downstairs got vacuumed and mopped, the toilets got cleaned, the dishwasher was unloaded and loaded, it was amazing! 

4.  I took Joseph and Mosey shopping at Walmart and HEB (exciting), and they were good helpers.  Mosey bought another dragon.  I think he's got all of the dragons in the dragon universe collection, now!  It is his money, so I let him make his own decisions.  I do make him wait several days before buying something, which has paid off several times when he's gone home and changed his mind. 
It was the first time I'd been to the grocery store on a Saturday before about 11:00 at night in a long time!

5.  When we got home, Joseph wrote a charming poem.  It goes like this:

The Dead keep their promises.
The Dead keep their word.
The Dead hold people's promises.
The Dead hold you to your word.
The Dead will not be tricked.
The Dead will not be cheated.
The Dead's wrath falls upon the traitor of Death.
The Dead want you.

Isn't that uplifting?  :-)  I would be worried, except that Joseph is actually a very nice boy who is happy nearly all of the time.  Except when I'm handing out chores.  :-)  I'm thinking this is fairly normal almost-eleven-year-old-boy stuff, right?  Right??  He's also taken to drawing pictures of skulls in dry erase marker on the kitchen windows.  One of them had a speech bubble that said, "Hi mom!"  :-)

6.  We ate pizza and watched two more episodes of 24 over dinner, and then it was time for bed!   

06/29/2012

1. There wasn't anything too remarkable about today.  Mosey had his last TKD class of the summer.  His 6 month contract was up, and we're going to be out of town so often in the next few weeks I decided to sign him back up when we get home.  He's been taking for a year now!  It's hard to believe it's been that long already.

2. Mosey helped me to paint a door in the afternoon.  We're going to replace all of the ugly stained wood doors in our house with regular paneled white doors.  They come pre-primed from Lowes, and only need to be painted white.  Mosey was excited to learn how to do it, and did a good job, too.  He is always excited to learn how to do something new like that.  I stayed out in the garage helping him for about 15 minutes, and then got too hot, even with the fan blowing right on me.  I went inside and put a bag of frozen pineapple on the back of my neck.  :-)

3. I went to a local esthetician school as a favor for a girl in our ward who is a student there.  They need people to come in to be "practice" clients.  So I got my first facial!  I have to say I am not terribly comfortable in that role.  :-)  I've never been a "mani/pedi" kind of girl (in fact, even saying "mani" or "pedi" makes me feel silly).  I have too much of my mom in me to ever really be able to feel comfortable being "pampered" (that word sounds silly too, doesn't it?).  It doesn't make sense, because I don't think anything negative at all about other women going to get their nails done, etc., but it's just not "me."  That being said, it was very relaxing and my skin felt very smooth afterward.  :-)

4. In the evening I made barbecue chicken and asparagus, and Brigham made cranberry orange apple cinnamon muffins (yes, that was the combination, and yes they did get eaten all up).  Not bad for a Friday night meal, huh?  And we watched the first episode of Season 2 of 24.  I have a feeling we'll make it through all the episodes within 2 weeks.