I want to record the frustrating experience we had with Sterling Classical School. This spring, we started feeling we needed to do something different for the boys' schooling, especially Joseph and Moses. After looking at lots of options, including a charter school that we really liked (but was lottery-only, with huge wait lists), I came across a 3-day-a-week private school called Sterling Classical School. They are Christian-based, but of no specific denomination, and the curriculum is based on the classical model which is roughly how we've done homeschooling so far. We went to the open house and a few days later the boys went to the school to follow the students for several classes. (This did involve a small incident with Mosey, which will be described below.) Overall, I was impressed with the school-- the teachers seemed great, the kids nice (and normal!), and it seemed like a great compromise between the flexibility of homeschooling and the structure and social benefits of regular school. I had a couple of long phone conversations with the school principal about the curriculum, and especially about how some of the biology classes are taught-- I was concerned about young earth/creationist approaches, and was very reassured.
We filled out the extensive application, including getting two letters of recommendation and answering long and detailed questions about our family and the educational strengths and weaknesses for each boy. The application included signing a statement of faith, which we were happy to do. It was worded in a typical Protestant-Christian viewpoint, with statements about the trinity. We have signed almost identical statements of faith with the boys in their participation with the Austin Royals, and have had no problems at all. Mormons' views on the trinity aren't exactly like those of other Protestants, of course, but in reading the statements of faith, we could easily and with good conscience agree with each one. The application also included a place to write down our place of worship, for which I wrote "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."
I submitted the application with full confidence that we would be accepted. But two days later I got a phone call from the admissions director. As soon as I answered the phone, I could tell by his tone of voice that I wouldn't like what I heard. It was a very short conversation in which he essentially said that we were not a "good match," and that he was afraid the school's "faith family" wouldn't be able to support our "faith family." He was perfectly polite, but I was pretty crushed. This came after weeks of agonizing over what to do about the boys' schooling, and feeling strongly that this was our answer.
I'll include the emails we exchanged over the next couple of days. It was disappointing, to say the very least.
Here's the first email I sent:
Dear Mr. Byrd,
I hope you don’t mind me writing to you again. After our phone conversation last Monday, I continued thinking about all of the things we love about your school, and I found myself hoping I could talk to you about your decision. Please know from the outset that despite my disappointment, I respect the school’s decision regarding my sons. You have a wonderful school, and I sympathize with and support your desire to protect the culture and atmosphere there, as well as the relationships between students and teachers and parents. If you feel like the religious differences between my family’s faith and the various faiths of the other students and teachers in the school are threatening to this culture and these relationships, then I understand why you might feel that we are not a good match.
For the past few months, my family has been searching for a school. We have been homeschooling for seven years, and have loved it. But my husband and I have felt increasingly like one of my sons in particular needs more than what I can offer him at home. We've been looking for a school with a nurturing environment. We wanted a school with a small enough student body that the teachers would all know and care about my son. We wanted a school with kids that will build up my son in kindness and faith. We wanted a school with an emphasis on academics. My children are bright and curious, and academic achievement has always been a value in our home. We investigated a number of private schools and charter schools, but nothing was exactly right. I was beginning to feel very discouraged.
I remember the very moment when I discovered Sterling Classical School. I was sitting in my car waiting for my son at basketball practice (our family participates in sports through the Royals homeschool athletic program), looking at my phone and scrolling through, once again, an internet search for private schools in the Austin area. I first read a description of Sterling on a homeschool message board, and hurriedly clicked over to the school’s website. I can’t tell you the relief and excitement I felt as I read about your school. It was everything I had been looking for, and more. The three-day-week schedule is a perfect transition for my homeschooled children, giving them enough time to really build strong relationships at school, but also enough time so that we can maintain the connections we've developed as a family over our years of homeschooling. The classical education system is exactly what we've been doing at home (we've followed The Well-Trained Mind). I loved that my kids would still be able to participate in sports. I loved everything about it.
After the informational meeting at Sterling, I felt even more sure about our decision to apply. My husband and I talked about it, fasted and prayed, and continued to feel like this was the school God was leading us to. I felt peace regarding my children’s education for the first time in months. My boys were happy. I told my family and friends all about the wonderful school I had found. So to say I felt a bit blind-sided after our phone call on Monday would be an understatement.
I am aware, of course, of some doctrinal differences between the LDS faith and that of many other Christian denominations. As homeschoolers in Texas, we have spent a great deal of time with families of other Christian faiths, and have participated in activities sponsored by other Christian organizations. As I mentioned before, my children have played sports for years with the Royals, a Christian homeschool athletic organization. I have never felt anything but at home with the wonderful Christian community here in Austin. I have such admiration and affection for the wonderful people who share so many of my own deeply-held beliefs, and I have always felt the same sentiments from them. Please know that I've never tried to sway anyone from their faith or engage in an argument over religion. Quite the contrary! I've been so grateful for my friendships with our wonderful Christian neighbors and friends.
I also feel strongly that if we could sit down together and discuss the concerns you have about the compatibility of our faith journeys, as you so well put it, you would find many of your fears assuaged. I assure you that we only want to be a part of your faith family. We have no desire to change anyone’s beliefs, and my children are capable of and very willing to be respectful and circumspect regarding any differences in our beliefs. In fact, this application process has brought occasion for our family to talk about some of these very issues. When my son Moses came home after attending your school last week, he told me that during the history lesson about Jesus he was able to explain to the class that Mormons believe that Jesus, Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost are three separate beings. I admit that my heart dropped to the floor when he told me this. At home, my sweet boy is accustomed to speaking his mind, and tact isn’t always his strong point. I wish very much that I had asked him ahead of time to be careful in his expressions of religious beliefs, especially on his very first day as a guest in your school!! As I talked with him about this, he was distraught, mortified that what he said might have been offensive to other students and teachers. If nothing else, it was a valuable learning experience for him. In any case, we are happy to comply with any guidelines the school wants to set forth in this matter.
I realize that it is possible that you have many applicants to choose from for limited spots in the school, and I understand that you have a responsibility to try to find the students who will match up best. But if you were willing to sit down with my sons and our family, we would love the opportunity to “make our case,” and have a conversation about any questions or concerns you may have, and what we can do to best allay any remaining fears.
Thank you so much for being willing to listen.
Blessings,
Gabrielle Turner (Joseph and Moses's mom)
And here's what he sent me in return:
Good afternoon, Mrs. Turner,
I appreciate your questions and comments. We take the enrollment process very seriously and desire to engage with others--even those who might attend other schools--on mutually-shared goals for children and young adults.You bring up some excellent points in your gracious email, and your sharing of your family's journey was insightful. It says a lot about both your intentional parenting and choices for your students' education.
You are also correct that in all likelihood, there are probably few issues that your family and the Sterling community would differ, particularly when it comes to cultural and even religious mores. And while the same could be said about our mutual religious beliefs, the initial differences there--the nature of God and His revelation to men--are quite considerable. As we see our classes as extensions of each family's life, we seek to complement that as much as possible. As we are not a church or denominational school, there are many emphases (e.g. church leadership structure, baptism, etc) that we would not make. However, we believe that the distinctives that we do list on our Statement of Faith are core to the goals and means of our education. Although we don't have bible or theology classes proper at this point, we do expect our teachers to engage students to understand the world from a traditional Christian/biblical perspective. Ultimately, it is our goal to equip students who can embrace this academic discipleship that is grounded in the witness of Scripture, the life of the church, and the empowering of the Holy Spirit.
Likewise, we encourage our students to speak to what they believe from their own family's and church's perspective. Your anecdote about your son's speaking on the nature of God (which I was made aware of through your email) is a great example. He spoke about what was on his mind and heart which is exactly what we would expect of any of our students. And while that was a great talking point for that class, we guide our teachers and students to evaluate all beliefs--particularly about the nature of God, man, and the world--to the witness of the Old and New Testaments as that this is the only foundation at the end of the day to which we can all agree. That process and goal, however, simply won't work in the long run unless all families in our community are in unity with this most basic belief and practice.
Please know that our non-acceptance of your students' applications is not intended to be mean-spirited in any way. It is not done out of fear for we want the best for your children as well. We do not see how Sterling's educational program can support your family's faith to the extent to which we need in order to fulfill our mission and vision for each child. Please know that we pray that you find the perfect educational fit for your family.
Sincerely,
Mr. Byrd
A perfectly cordial, and perfectly unsatisfactory reply.
I went one more email, with only a very small hope that his heart would be softened.
Thank you Mr. Byrd. I honor your final decision. We will try to make the best of things. There is no need for you to respond to this email-- I would like simply to end our correspondence with my testimony of Jesus Christ.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I embrace every word spoken in Sterling's statement of faith. I have signed with full peace of conscience similar statements of faith when my children have participated in other Christian-sponsored activities. These are precious truths which we try to teach to our children and live every day.
Regarding the nature of God, we believe in God the Father, His divine Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. We believe that God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit together make up the single, united Godhead. They are utterly united in their Divine natures, in their purposes, and in their love. There is no Godhead without all three aspects of this Divinity. Because we believe in the literal and physical resurrection of Jesus Christ (Luke 24:36-43; John 20:24-25; 1 Cor. 15:5-8; Acts 1:9-11; Rev. 1:7; Zech. 12:10, 13:6, and 14:4; ), we understand them to be one God, but three distinct beings. There are many verses in the Bible in which we see and hear the separate embodiments of God: As John the Baptist raised Jesus from the baptismal waters of Jordan, the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in the form of a dove and God's voice was heard proclaiming, "This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased," (Matthew 3:16, Luke 1:10). As Jesus hung in agony, dying for our sins upon the cross, he cried out, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" and "Father, into thine hands I commend my spirit." (Matthew 26:46, Mark 15:34; Luke 23:46). There are many additional occasions in which Jesus acknowledged that He was at his Father's business (Luke 2:49; John 2:16; 4:24; 5:36; 6:38; 8:29; 9:4) As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we read these verses and others like them as evidence of a non-trinitarian God. However, we absolutely recognize the power of other verses to which Trinitarians point in defense of their beliefs.
I also have found it instructive to understand exactly how the formalized notion of the Trinity arose. Because the Bible isn't explicit upon the point, the idea of the Trinity wasn't everywhere accepted as standard Christian doctrine until after the Council of Nicea in A.D. 325 and the First Council of Constantinople in A.D. 381. During these meetings, a consensus was reached by various church leaders under the direction of Emperor Constantine. We believe the Trinity to be an article of Faith not necessarily mandated by the New Testament, but rather developed and signed as a creed among many church leaders centuries after Christ's death. Up until then there were varying interpretations of the relationship between the members of the Godhead. Even today there are a number of nontrinitarian Christian denominations. We find the Bible to be open to interpretation on the subject of the Trinity, and respectfully acknowledge and honor those individuals whose interpretations differ from ours while fully accepting them as fellow Christians and servants of Christ.It is a deep and profound sadness to us that this generosity is sometimes denied us by members of our very own Christian family-- the very people with whom we share the most in common and with whom we so deeply desire to combine forces in resisting the forces of secularism and evil in this world.
Ultimately, all we can do is bear witness of Christ. And this is the testimony which we give last of all, in the words of Joseph Smith and Gordon B. Hinckley, past presidents of our church: That he lives! Jesus is the Christ, the divine, immortal Son of the Father. He is the Creator of the earth. He is the great Jehovah of the Old Testament, who condescended to come into the world as the Messiah, who gave His life on Calvary’s cross in His wondrous Atonement because He loves us. We believe that Christ is our Savior and that it is by Him, and through Him and only of Him that we are saved. We strive to do good works and obey God's commandments as a sign of deep reverence for Him and to live lives of integrity, aligning both our hearts and our actions with God. We desire our lives to reflect our love for Him and our desire to become more like Him, but also assert that good works will not, do not, and cannot ever save us on our own. Truly, we believe in the "Amazing Grace which saved a wretch" like each one of us. Christ the Lord embodies that Grace. He is the heart of our worship. We love Him and we strive to follow Him in all that do and in all that we say and in all that we are.
May God bless you and the good work you are doing in your school.
Love,
Gabrielle
And that was that. I never received any reply to this. I wonder if he even read it. How could any Christian, evangelical or otherwise, read this and then deny that we are Christian? Do they think we're lying? It was so frustrating and disheartening. I just cannot understand how, for evangelical Christians, the trinitarian nature of God is THE fundamental, defining aspect of their faith-- trumping any of Christ's actual teachings. They should therefore call themselves Trinitarians, not Christians. If anyone has the grounds to deny the appellation of "Christian," to the other, it would be Mormons to Trinitarian Evangelicals!
It was depressing, but made me glad that I haven't come across this level of discrimination anywhere else in Austin. The Royals have been totally wonderful. No other non-Mormon Christian I've spoken to in Texas has ever responded to me in the way that this school did, and for that I am grateful.
