Sunday, July 12, 2009

Nervous again

Tomorrow evening we'll head out to Houston for my 1 year evaluation.
I am hoping we will all go out together! I don't want to go out there by myself again. But this morning Mosey woke up throwing up, and he was sick all day until about 7:00 tonight. I'm wondering if another boys might wake up throwing up tomorrow. Or if Mosey might still be sick. I caught this stupid bug on Tuesday, and I STILL don't feel good.
Mosey slept almost allll day. I started to get really worried, and sent Joseph upstairs to make sure he was ok. Then I made Ben bring him down so I could check on him myself. But this evening he woke up, seemingly back to his old self, drank some juice, ate a popsicle, had some Life cereal, and then went back to bed. I hope he's over it.
I just don't want to go to Houston. I have my neuro appointments in the morning, my oncology appointments in the afternoon, and an MRI for the evening. None of it will be fun. I'm thinking of taking a sleeping pill before the MRI to try to have it be a little more tolerable.
The plan is for Ben and the boys to come with me to the neurologist, so that Ben can be with me during my walking test. Then he can take the boys somewhere fun while I go to all my other appointments.
I shouldn't be nervous, my walking is actually going really, really great. I've been practicing every other night, and I'm up to 10-12 laps each time. Each lap is about 24 meters, so I feel really good about that. I ought to be able to do WAY better than last time. But nerves have always been my Achilles heel. I've never performed better in anything because of nerves, and it's usually exactly the opposite. When I ran cross country in high school, my practice runs were invariably faster than my races. My nerves just killed me. I remember thinking, "Why can't I just run the race by myself sometime and then submit that time?" Ha, ha. I feel the same way now, though. I just walked 11 laps, so supposedly 264 meters. Can't I just tell Dr. Hutton I can walk that far, and leave it at that? Oh, well.
So I'm trying to think very calming thoughts. That's why we'll leave tomorrow evening and stay the night out there, so I don't have to have the stress of waking up so early and worrying about making it in on time.
After Monday, I can really enjoy the rest of the summer!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

our prayers and best thoughts go with you. Go get 'em!

Jen said...

Good luck! I hope you receive good news!

paul said...

good luck gabrielle!

Rosalynde said...

Wow, Gabrielle---I had no idea the walking was going so well! You are AMAZING! I am so proud of you and all your hard work. All my love and best wishes for you tomorrow---

Rosalynde