Friday, August 31, 2007
Golden Birthday
I saw my neurologist yesterday, and today got started on my solumedrol treatments. I'm able to do it at home, thank goodness. A home nurse came over today and placed the IV and showed me how to administer the medication, flush the IV lines, etc. So four more days, then a tough week of withdrawal, and THEN I'll probably be a new woman!My doctor is willing to let me do the solumedrol treatments about twice a year, so I'll be hoping my next attack will hold off until at least next March! LOL More often than that and there are some side effects that can be a problem (chronic potassium deficiency, kidney problems, bone loss, etc.), and the more frequent the treatment, the less effective it apparently is. Although he told me that could very well be because more frequent attacks simply signifies progression of the disease, which normally becomes less responsive to steroid treatments, and isn't necessarily due to the treatments themselves.He also gave me a form to get a handicap placard. It was a bit of a rough reality check seeing the "permanent disability" written on it. But today I went out to the County tax building and got my placard, and that will be a big help. Getting the kids from school has been a problem. It is hot here, in the 90's every day, and the closest I can park to get the boys is down the road, across a long lawn, down a sidewalk, across a road, and down another sidewalk. By the time I get to the school, and then walk back to the car, I'm really struggling. Last week when we went to the "meet the teacher" meeting at the school, I really didn't know if I was going to be able to make it back to the car. The boys were my cheerleaders, telling me, "You can do it, mom!" and I finally did get to the car. So anyway, this will make things easier for me, but I have very mixed feelings about it. I'm happy to have the placard, but it's a little hard to accept that I need it.So today is my birthday! My golden birthday, 31 on the 31st. I have the latest possible golden birthday. Tonight when Ben gets home we will go out to eat and then maybe go somewhere to pick out a telescope, which the boys had been asking for, for their birthday last week. I want to get a couple of new kittens, too, but I might wait until I don't have an IV hanging off my arm.
First day of school!
Monday was Joseph and Brigham's first day of first grade! They had a great week, seem to like their teachers and classmates and have generally slipped pretty easily back into the school routine.
It's been a little tough convincing them to go to bed on time, and a couple of mornings we've had to really drag them out of bed, but overall I'm pretty pleased.
It's fun to listen to them talk about school, and who is in whose class. Each have some students from the other's Kindergarten class in their first grade class, and they've had fun figuring out who these students are. Brigham was trying to describe a little girl in his class and said, "She is not a black person, and she has yellowish-light-brown hair, and she has two teeth gone in the front."
Mosey misses his brothers, and it will be good for him to start preschool 2 mornings a week in a couple of weeks. He asks me periodically through the morning if it is time to "pick up my brudders from school?"
So we are off to another school year, and I think everyone is glad to be back in a routine.
It's been a little tough convincing them to go to bed on time, and a couple of mornings we've had to really drag them out of bed, but overall I'm pretty pleased.
It's fun to listen to them talk about school, and who is in whose class. Each have some students from the other's Kindergarten class in their first grade class, and they've had fun figuring out who these students are. Brigham was trying to describe a little girl in his class and said, "She is not a black person, and she has yellowish-light-brown hair, and she has two teeth gone in the front."
Mosey misses his brothers, and it will be good for him to start preschool 2 mornings a week in a couple of weeks. He asks me periodically through the morning if it is time to "pick up my brudders from school?"
So we are off to another school year, and I think everyone is glad to be back in a routine.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
A tribute to Sunshine Bear
One of the best parts of our trip to CA was Disneyland! My parents paid for all of us visiting there (Brigham, Christine, Elijah, Naomi, Dave, me and my boys, plus Eva, Christian, and Abraham), which was incredibly generous. We went on Monday the 20th and pretty much spent all day there-- 9:00 AM to probably 10:00 PM. Brigham and Joseph had been to Disney World about 2 years ago and they remembered it and loved it, but this time was even better because they were tall enough to go on all the "good" rides (Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Matterhorn, etc.).
My mom pushed me around in a wheelchair the whole time (plus usually at least one boy on my lap) because the hot sun does a number on my legs and there was no way I could walk around. I'm sure my mom was sore for a few days after that, since she probably weighed like half of what I, the wheelchair, and whatever children were on my lap weighed combined. But the upshot was that we got to go toward the front of most lines. Not right to the front, but they have a "wheelchair line" that was generally shorter, sometimes a lot shorter than the regular lines.
The only trauma of the day was when Mosey lost his Sunshine bear. I had kept it in my backpack the whole day, for fear of his losing it. So late that night, after the Carousel, our last ride of the day, he asked for it, and I gave it to him. Then we walked to a couple of gift shops to find this "string thing" toy that the boys wanted for their souvenir (it's cool), and somewhere along the way Sunshine bear was dropped.
We retraced our footsteps, went back to the gift shops, scoured the ground with 5 sets of eyes searching, but couldn't find it. Mosey was absolutely inconsolable. He finally calmed down when I assured him the Disney workers probably already picked it up and were taking it to the lost and found. So all the way out of the park I was praying that was true, and Mosey kept asking me every couple of minutes if Sunshine bear was at the lost and found. Sadly, he was not. I filled out a lost item report, and then we had to head out to the car.
Mosey was ok about it for a few minutes, but once we reached the parking garage and the reality of going home without Sunshine bear hit him full force, Mosey was very, very, very, very sad. It just about tore my heart out. He kept crying, "Mom, my sunshine bear, my sunshine bear! I need my sunshine bear!"
Three years old is the peak of childhood object attachment, so to him, that Sunshine bear was extremely important. And seriously, he had that thing with him EVERYWHERE. And I think he could not understand how I couldn't find it. After all, I am mom, finder of all lost objects. When he had misplaced Sunshine bear in the past, he would ask me, "Mom, where is my sunshine bear?" And I'd say, "I don't know honey, you'd better go look for him." And then he'd pause a second and say, "But mom, where is my sunshine bear?" It is not possible, in his mind, for me not to know where something is. So I'm sure he was also confused as to why I wasn't producing Sunshine bear as I always had in the past!
He finally, finally fell asleep on the way home, and the first thing I did when I got home was to log on to my computer and search ebay for another Sunshine bear, in the likely event his wasn't found. My some grace of God, I did find another sunshine bear, exactly the same as the one he'd lost. I found *one* among thousands of other Sunshine bear paraphernelia. I ordered it immediately and it only cost $6.04. You know, with all the frustrations that changing technology can cause, that moment of finding a replacement sunshine bear made it all worth it.
So Friday morning we were literally waiting for the mail (Mosey was somewhat disappointed that he wasn't there on Thursday when we got home), and there was a package with Sunshine bear!! The only glitch was that this was a brand-new Sunshine bear, and Mosey's was... a well-loved Sunshine Bear. So I lied again and told Mosey that he probably got really dirty on the streets in Disneyland, and I'm sure the Disney workers just threw him in the washing machine for us. He bought that one too (as did the twins, amazingly), and no one's the wiser.
I'm still sad that somewhere out there is Mosey's old Sunshine bear. Makes me think of the poor, abandoned Velveteen Rabbit. Think there will be a fairy to turn him into a *real* bear? But at least my boy his happy again, and is once again inseparable from his Sunshine bear.
My mom pushed me around in a wheelchair the whole time (plus usually at least one boy on my lap) because the hot sun does a number on my legs and there was no way I could walk around. I'm sure my mom was sore for a few days after that, since she probably weighed like half of what I, the wheelchair, and whatever children were on my lap weighed combined. But the upshot was that we got to go toward the front of most lines. Not right to the front, but they have a "wheelchair line" that was generally shorter, sometimes a lot shorter than the regular lines.
The only trauma of the day was when Mosey lost his Sunshine bear. I had kept it in my backpack the whole day, for fear of his losing it. So late that night, after the Carousel, our last ride of the day, he asked for it, and I gave it to him. Then we walked to a couple of gift shops to find this "string thing" toy that the boys wanted for their souvenir (it's cool), and somewhere along the way Sunshine bear was dropped.
We retraced our footsteps, went back to the gift shops, scoured the ground with 5 sets of eyes searching, but couldn't find it. Mosey was absolutely inconsolable. He finally calmed down when I assured him the Disney workers probably already picked it up and were taking it to the lost and found. So all the way out of the park I was praying that was true, and Mosey kept asking me every couple of minutes if Sunshine bear was at the lost and found. Sadly, he was not. I filled out a lost item report, and then we had to head out to the car.
Mosey was ok about it for a few minutes, but once we reached the parking garage and the reality of going home without Sunshine bear hit him full force, Mosey was very, very, very, very sad. It just about tore my heart out. He kept crying, "Mom, my sunshine bear, my sunshine bear! I need my sunshine bear!"
Three years old is the peak of childhood object attachment, so to him, that Sunshine bear was extremely important. And seriously, he had that thing with him EVERYWHERE. And I think he could not understand how I couldn't find it. After all, I am mom, finder of all lost objects. When he had misplaced Sunshine bear in the past, he would ask me, "Mom, where is my sunshine bear?" And I'd say, "I don't know honey, you'd better go look for him." And then he'd pause a second and say, "But mom, where is my sunshine bear?" It is not possible, in his mind, for me not to know where something is. So I'm sure he was also confused as to why I wasn't producing Sunshine bear as I always had in the past!
He finally, finally fell asleep on the way home, and the first thing I did when I got home was to log on to my computer and search ebay for another Sunshine bear, in the likely event his wasn't found. My some grace of God, I did find another sunshine bear, exactly the same as the one he'd lost. I found *one* among thousands of other Sunshine bear paraphernelia. I ordered it immediately and it only cost $6.04. You know, with all the frustrations that changing technology can cause, that moment of finding a replacement sunshine bear made it all worth it.
The next morning, sure enough, the FIRST thing Mosey asks about is Sunshine bear. So I totally lied and told him that Disneyland had found Sunshine Bear, and they took a picture of him to make sure he was the right one, and now they're mailing him to our house in Texas so we don't have to drive all the way back there. I showed him the ebay picture, and you should have seen the smile spread across his face. Think that lie was ok? I do, and I'll stand by my dishonesty!
So Friday morning we were literally waiting for the mail (Mosey was somewhat disappointed that he wasn't there on Thursday when we got home), and there was a package with Sunshine bear!! The only glitch was that this was a brand-new Sunshine bear, and Mosey's was... a well-loved Sunshine Bear. So I lied again and told Mosey that he probably got really dirty on the streets in Disneyland, and I'm sure the Disney workers just threw him in the washing machine for us. He bought that one too (as did the twins, amazingly), and no one's the wiser.
I'm still sad that somewhere out there is Mosey's old Sunshine bear. Makes me think of the poor, abandoned Velveteen Rabbit. Think there will be a fairy to turn him into a *real* bear? But at least my boy his happy again, and is once again inseparable from his Sunshine bear.
The last known picture of Mosey's original Sunshine Bear.
A picture of happier times, just minutes before the disappearance.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Back in Texas!
Quick note to let you all know we're back in Austin again.
We flew back yesterday afternoon and it was an uneventful flight although a total miracle we got ON the flight!
I made a stupid mistake when I looked at my tickets for my flight-- the line right above was for my flight into SLC, which was a different airline than my flight out of LAX, but the way it was printed, it looked like Frontier was also the airline I was flying out of LAX. So we got in line for Frontier, said goodbye to my dad who helped me get all my luggage (10 items to check!!) into the airport, and then I saw that there were signs at all the kiosks saying they would not be open until 12:00. Well, my flight left at 12:50, and I started to think that was crazy since that would give everyone on that flight only 5 minutes to get checked in before the 45 minute cut off! So I pulled out my tickets to see if maybe I got the flight time wrong, and then realized I was at the wrong airline ticket counter, I was supposed to be at the American Airlines ticket counter.
I got out of line as quick as I could, with 3 boys and 2 luggage carts, and went outside to find an airport worker. Found one who told me American Airlines was in Terminal 4. I was in terminal 3, so I thought, not so bad. Wrong. The international terminal sits between terminals 3 and 4, and so I had to walk all the way around to the other side of the airport. I didn't have my dad's phone number so I called my mom who called my dad who called me back, and he ran back to find me (Iuckily he hadn't left the parking lot yet). At this point it was already 12:10, 40 minutes before my flight, and I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we had missed this flight, I'd have to pay $200 to get on the next flight, and sit in the airport for hours waiting.
But my dad, who never takes no for an answer, took the luggage carts and ran to Terminal 4 and the American Airlines ticket counter. By the time I managed to get there with the boys in tow, he had somehow convinced the ticket agent to get a supervisor to approve me checking in with my boys and getting my luggage loaded onto the plane. It was now 30 minutes before my flight. Turns out she has a good friend with MS and I guess she felt sorry for me traveling by myself with 3 little kids. I was amazed though, I've NEVER heard of a ticketing agent bending on the 45 minute cut-off rule.
Getting through security was another lengthy matter, as the ticket agent (thinking she was helping I'm sure) called a wheelchair to meet me at security. But my boys and all our carry on items still had to go through the x-ray machines and metal detectors. It took them quite a while to figure out what to do since I guess it isn't common for a wheelchair person to be flying alone with children. I'm not wheelchair bound, I could have managed to get myself through the metal detector, but by then it was too complicated to change plans. Anyway, 2 TSA agents ended up taking the boys and the carryon items and another wheeled me around to where they do the manual pat-downs. It would have been far faster for me to just walk with the boys over to the place where airplane crews go through-- on my last flight the TSA agent told me just to walk up there and I could go right through without waiting in the security line.
But anyway, we did eventually get through security although it took about 20 minutes! We were the LAST ones on the plane, the gate agents were waiting for us. When we got up to the gate the lady asked, "Are you the Turner family?" So they were clearly waiting. Anyway, we got on the flight, it was fine, we got back into Austin, found our luggage already off the baggage carousel and waiting for us, went outside, Ben drove up, and home we went! Pretty miraculous. American Airlines gives pretty good service!
My brother Brigham and his wife and 2 kids had an opposite and awful experience at the same airport earlier that morning, flying United. The ticket agents failed to give them an infant pass, so after they waited throught he security line, they were told they had to go back, stand in line at the special services counter and get the infant pass. So they did that, got new boarding passes, waited in line AGAIN at security, only to find that the boarding passes they had been given were wrong again! Wrong names, wrong destination, wrong flight. So back they go to the special services line for the 2nd time, finally got the right boarding passes, went through the line for security for the 3rd time, got through 2 minutes before their flight, sprinted with 2 kids down to their gate desperately trying to make the flight, only to find that the flight had just been canceled. Not delayed, canceled. So back they go to the ticket counter along with everyone on the flight to get rebooked on different flights. Finally they got on a plane to Chicago where they were to go and once there they were told another ticket agent would help them find a flight to Boston. Hopefully they got there. But isn't that awful? They were flying United, so if you ever have the choice between United and American Airlines, go with American Airlines!!
Ok, that's enough for now. At 3:00 we go to the boys' school to meet their teachers. Should be fun!
We flew back yesterday afternoon and it was an uneventful flight although a total miracle we got ON the flight!
I made a stupid mistake when I looked at my tickets for my flight-- the line right above was for my flight into SLC, which was a different airline than my flight out of LAX, but the way it was printed, it looked like Frontier was also the airline I was flying out of LAX. So we got in line for Frontier, said goodbye to my dad who helped me get all my luggage (10 items to check!!) into the airport, and then I saw that there were signs at all the kiosks saying they would not be open until 12:00. Well, my flight left at 12:50, and I started to think that was crazy since that would give everyone on that flight only 5 minutes to get checked in before the 45 minute cut off! So I pulled out my tickets to see if maybe I got the flight time wrong, and then realized I was at the wrong airline ticket counter, I was supposed to be at the American Airlines ticket counter.
I got out of line as quick as I could, with 3 boys and 2 luggage carts, and went outside to find an airport worker. Found one who told me American Airlines was in Terminal 4. I was in terminal 3, so I thought, not so bad. Wrong. The international terminal sits between terminals 3 and 4, and so I had to walk all the way around to the other side of the airport. I didn't have my dad's phone number so I called my mom who called my dad who called me back, and he ran back to find me (Iuckily he hadn't left the parking lot yet). At this point it was already 12:10, 40 minutes before my flight, and I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we had missed this flight, I'd have to pay $200 to get on the next flight, and sit in the airport for hours waiting.
But my dad, who never takes no for an answer, took the luggage carts and ran to Terminal 4 and the American Airlines ticket counter. By the time I managed to get there with the boys in tow, he had somehow convinced the ticket agent to get a supervisor to approve me checking in with my boys and getting my luggage loaded onto the plane. It was now 30 minutes before my flight. Turns out she has a good friend with MS and I guess she felt sorry for me traveling by myself with 3 little kids. I was amazed though, I've NEVER heard of a ticketing agent bending on the 45 minute cut-off rule.
Getting through security was another lengthy matter, as the ticket agent (thinking she was helping I'm sure) called a wheelchair to meet me at security. But my boys and all our carry on items still had to go through the x-ray machines and metal detectors. It took them quite a while to figure out what to do since I guess it isn't common for a wheelchair person to be flying alone with children. I'm not wheelchair bound, I could have managed to get myself through the metal detector, but by then it was too complicated to change plans. Anyway, 2 TSA agents ended up taking the boys and the carryon items and another wheeled me around to where they do the manual pat-downs. It would have been far faster for me to just walk with the boys over to the place where airplane crews go through-- on my last flight the TSA agent told me just to walk up there and I could go right through without waiting in the security line.
But anyway, we did eventually get through security although it took about 20 minutes! We were the LAST ones on the plane, the gate agents were waiting for us. When we got up to the gate the lady asked, "Are you the Turner family?" So they were clearly waiting. Anyway, we got on the flight, it was fine, we got back into Austin, found our luggage already off the baggage carousel and waiting for us, went outside, Ben drove up, and home we went! Pretty miraculous. American Airlines gives pretty good service!
My brother Brigham and his wife and 2 kids had an opposite and awful experience at the same airport earlier that morning, flying United. The ticket agents failed to give them an infant pass, so after they waited throught he security line, they were told they had to go back, stand in line at the special services counter and get the infant pass. So they did that, got new boarding passes, waited in line AGAIN at security, only to find that the boarding passes they had been given were wrong again! Wrong names, wrong destination, wrong flight. So back they go to the special services line for the 2nd time, finally got the right boarding passes, went through the line for security for the 3rd time, got through 2 minutes before their flight, sprinted with 2 kids down to their gate desperately trying to make the flight, only to find that the flight had just been canceled. Not delayed, canceled. So back they go to the ticket counter along with everyone on the flight to get rebooked on different flights. Finally they got on a plane to Chicago where they were to go and once there they were told another ticket agent would help them find a flight to Boston. Hopefully they got there. But isn't that awful? They were flying United, so if you ever have the choice between United and American Airlines, go with American Airlines!!
Ok, that's enough for now. At 3:00 we go to the boys' school to meet their teachers. Should be fun!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Six years old!!
My boys on their 6th birthday
This year they have:
Early morning candles
All the birthday boys. The big one is 27 the little ones are 6!
They *are* happy, I promise! 
Blowing candles together
This year they have:
- Lost a combined total of 7 teeth (Joseph 4, Brigham 3)
- Learned to swim
- Earned senior yellow belts in Tae Kwon Do
- Learned to sound out words and read simple books
- Learned basic addition and subtraction
- Lived in three different houses (one in FL, two in TX)
- Graduated Kindergarten
- Flown on 7 airplanes
- Fallen in love with Scooby Doo and the mystery gang
- Furthered their love for "experiments"
- Gone the whole year without a trip to the ER
- Had their first trip to the Principal's office (ok, just Joseph on that one)
- For the first time had to say goodbye to beloved pets and friends
- Had five haircuts
- Saw snow fall (at least, for the first time in concsious memory)
- Gone on their first father-son campout
- Finally grown tall enough for most of the "good" roller coasters at Sea World and Disneyland
- Become sweet-natured, curious, sometimes stubborn, always affectionate, mostly respectful, occasionally mischeivous little boys!
Today Brigham and Joseph turned six. I can no longer count their years on one hand. We had a nice, simple day. Mama (Grandma Frandsen) gave them each chocolate chip and blueberry muffins with birthday candles for breakfast before heading off to Utah again to take Abe to BYU. The boys watched Spy Kids while I got a few things done, then we did some errands and went to Fosters Family Donuts for the boys to pick out a donut (I didn't think we'd be doing birthday cake, so that was the substitute), then home for another movie, 101 Dalmations (can you tell I let the boys do whatever they wanted?), then an afternoon of playing and swimming before a barbecue with Brigham and Christine and some friends of theirs in the area. After dinner and more swimming, Christine made the boys (and Uncle Brigham since the twins share his birthday!), a wonderful chocolate cake. Then off to bed!
I love my boys so much. Sometimes it amazes me that every mother can love their children as much as I love mine!
Six years old is a wonderful age. I just love how every night Joseph wants me to read him a section of the "How Science Works" book that Grandma has in her house, and yet still wants to curl up right next to me in bed. Brigham is so big-brotherly to his little cousins (he really is, it's adorable and also sad to me since I'd love to see him with another baby brother or sister for reals), and yet he still feels completely free to run around the house naked. It is such a precious combination of growing maturity and awareness of the world and people around them, and the vestiges of infancy and blissful innocence of early childhood. I think sometime this year I may start seeing some of that truly innocent little-boyishness that they still have fall away, and I will be very sad. But maybe not, maybe they'll hang on to early childhood a little longer. For now I will savor every moment of it.
Here are some pictures from the day. The black and white sequence is one I especially love. Far from technically perfect, it does capture their relationship and their personalities right now. Click on it to see a larger version.
Early morning candles
All the birthday boys. The big one is 27 the little ones are 6!
They *are* happy, I promise!
Blowing candles together
Being six-year-old twins
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Mara at the beach
I have more to write, and I want to reply to those of you who have commented, but at the moment my right hand is really acting up. My fingers are almost completely numb and my 3rd, 4th, and 5th fingers (piano fingering) are getting spastic, both of which making typing really difficult. And the wireless at my parents' house is sloooooowwwww.
So I'll write a more complete update of the California leg of our trip when I get home and hopefully my hand is better. I've decided to go in for more steroids next week. I am pretty sure I can just do it as an outpatient this time.
Anyway, I'll leave you with a couple of photos of my 17 month old neice, Mara. She looks JUST like the pictures of my sister (her mom) at her age.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Not in the lucky 20% this time...
I had my blood drawn today to find the results of my FET and the test came back negative.
I'm very sad, but I did know this was the probable result.
It is very hard to break the news to everyone, especially my twins who have been quite interested in the whole process. They know they also started out as little embryos in a petri dish and have asked me so many questions about the whole thing. They are very well educated in infertility procedures for your average 5 year old! But Joseph told me he didn't want another little baby anyway, and Brigham told me he wasn't disappointed, after asking if maybe the doctor could just look harder to find some HCG in my blood. That made me laugh *and* cry.
So that's the end of our long IVF saga. I'm so lucky to have my three boys. Many couples go through IVF after IVF and eventually have to give up with no children at all. I am so blessed and that does make this last failure a lot easier to handle.
Thank you everyone for your prayers and positive thoughts. I sure wish this would have ended differently.
I'm very sad, but I did know this was the probable result.
It is very hard to break the news to everyone, especially my twins who have been quite interested in the whole process. They know they also started out as little embryos in a petri dish and have asked me so many questions about the whole thing. They are very well educated in infertility procedures for your average 5 year old! But Joseph told me he didn't want another little baby anyway, and Brigham told me he wasn't disappointed, after asking if maybe the doctor could just look harder to find some HCG in my blood. That made me laugh *and* cry.
So that's the end of our long IVF saga. I'm so lucky to have my three boys. Many couples go through IVF after IVF and eventually have to give up with no children at all. I am so blessed and that does make this last failure a lot easier to handle.
Thank you everyone for your prayers and positive thoughts. I sure wish this would have ended differently.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Salem Pond
Yesterday I spent more than 3 hours on the phone in the morning dealing with Florida house stuff. Ugh. After lunch I had to get out of the house so we went to Walmart (the excitement overwhelms, huh?), and then to Salem Pond. The boys LOVED Salem Pond! We were there for 3 hours! They swam, chased ducks, tried to catch fish, made sand castles, and I just sat on the lawn and read and watched them. It was fabulous. I told them that their Daddy used to play at Salem Pond when he was their age. 
Brigham my little fishie.
Making some sort of bay in the sand.
Here are a few pictures.
Brigham my little fishie.
Making some sort of bay in the sand.
Good lookin' boy.
Busy in the sand and water.
Mosey loved the water. He stayed in basically until he was shivering!
Trying to splash mom.
Squaw Peak
Yesterday after church we drove up to the Squaw Peak overlook for a picnic and short hike. The boys love hiking!! I wish my legs weren't so bad right now. I have been waiting since they were born to be able to go on hikes with them-- real hikes. And now that they're old enough, my legs won't let me. Bummer. But it was just as well because as SOON as we got back to the car, it started pouring!
Pictures from our drive behind Timp
The boys are so funny. I've told them about Mt. Timpanogos and how it rises up above Provo, and they've been pretty intrigued by it (they really want to hike to the top, but I told them they have to wait till Dad gets here!). But they misheard me and now they think it's called "Mountain Panogos," which if you say it, sounds exactly the same as "Mt. Timpanogos!" 
Anyway, here are some pictures from Friday afternoon.
Hiking up the mountainside.
Posing on the rock. Actually got 3 real smiles!
Biggest dandelion Joseph's ever seen.
Gorgeous rainstorm
On the way down to Salem from SLC airport, we drove through this massive thunderstorm. I love thunderstorms, and when we stopped by Walmart, there was a beautiful rainbow all the way across the sky. Of course I had to get my camera out, and I also annoyed the boys by stopping two more times on the way back to capture the sun shining through the rainstorms on the horizon. The best views we had were up on the top of a couple of freeway overpasses, but I didn't think it safe enough to stop there to take the pictures!!
Gecko
I found one of these on the wall of our laundry room. I don't know if it is a gecko, but that's what I call these little critters. They are very small, maybe only 1 inch long, and they can change color depending on what surface they are on. They are very fast, and run along in this back and forth wiggly sort of way. We saw these a lot in Florida and I always liked them, so I was happy to see they live in Texas too!
Mosey's best friends
Mosey has two best friends, his sunshine bear and Blue. Joseph and Brigham each got a carebear for their 3rd birthday, and have been pretty attached to them ever since. Mosey wanted a carebear too, and his is "Sunshine Bear." He loves Sunshine Bear. He sleeps with him, takes him swimming, takes him in the bath, takes him everywhere! Of course he's also been long very attached to Blue (from Blue's Clues). Yesterday we found a stuffed animal Blue at Walmart, so I had to get it for him. Now he's just about as attached to Blue as to Sunshine Bear!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Two embryos on board!
I'm back from SLC now. All morning I was dreading hearing the phone ring, fearing it would be the embryologist telling me not to bother coming up because none of my embies made it. But no phone call, and when I got up there the doctor told me 2 out of the 4 survived the thaw. One looked pretty good, one pretty bad, but still hanging in there. When embryos are thawed, they typically lose lots of cells. The hope is that at least one cell will survive and continue to grow and divide. At this stage of development, all the cells are identical, so you only need one to survive. So 2 of the four lost all their cells and didn't survive. Two others lost all their cells down to one (they were frozen at the 7-8 cell stage). Of those, one started growing and had divided once as of this morning, so back to 2 cells. The other was still at 1 cell. By the time we got to transfer, the 2-cell embryo had divided again into 4 cells, so that was a good sign. We weren't able to see the 2nd embryo well enough to know if it divided again or not. The dividing embryo was at a grade 2, which is pretty good. Grade 1 is best, but you never get grade 1 embies after being thawed. The other was at a grade 3, meaning it had fairly significant fragmentation. The doctor said that one didn't have much of a chance, but it was still alive, so they transferred it anyway. With one good embryo, the doctor gave me about a 20% chance of success.
I admit I was disappointed that we didn't have at least 2 good ones, but I was very grateful to have any to transfer at all.
So I'm supposed to be on bedrest for the next two days, which won't happen since I have 3 little boys to take care of! Kent and Jackee are out of town until Monday. But I've also been told by other doctors that the 2 days of bedrest is mostly for the patient's peace of mind, and doesn't really increase the chance of success. I'll try to take it easy, though.
I'm scheduled for bloodwork on the 17th to see if this worked or not. Mama, I'll be hoping I can give you a positive bHCG for your birthday! But I'm also trying to be realistic. 20% chance of success means 80% chance of failure, so most likely this will end in a negative blood test. I think I'll be ok, though. If this doesn't work, when we get back to TX, I'm going to get a new kitten, maybe two, since it doesn't look like Angel's going to make her way home. And I'll just really enjoy my boys and I'll be able to move on with my life without the "what if" of frozen embryos.
But I'm also not giving up. 20% chance of success means that out of 5 women in my situation, 1 will be successful, and I just might be that one! In any case, I won't know a thing for at least a week and a half, so I'm going to enjoy this time and try to think about other things!!
Thank you everyone for your prayers. I'm feeling peaceful, which is probably even better than feeling hopeful.
I admit I was disappointed that we didn't have at least 2 good ones, but I was very grateful to have any to transfer at all.
So I'm supposed to be on bedrest for the next two days, which won't happen since I have 3 little boys to take care of! Kent and Jackee are out of town until Monday. But I've also been told by other doctors that the 2 days of bedrest is mostly for the patient's peace of mind, and doesn't really increase the chance of success. I'll try to take it easy, though.
I'm scheduled for bloodwork on the 17th to see if this worked or not. Mama, I'll be hoping I can give you a positive bHCG for your birthday! But I'm also trying to be realistic. 20% chance of success means 80% chance of failure, so most likely this will end in a negative blood test. I think I'll be ok, though. If this doesn't work, when we get back to TX, I'm going to get a new kitten, maybe two, since it doesn't look like Angel's going to make her way home. And I'll just really enjoy my boys and I'll be able to move on with my life without the "what if" of frozen embryos.
But I'm also not giving up. 20% chance of success means that out of 5 women in my situation, 1 will be successful, and I just might be that one! In any case, I won't know a thing for at least a week and a half, so I'm going to enjoy this time and try to think about other things!!
Thank you everyone for your prayers. I'm feeling peaceful, which is probably even better than feeling hopeful.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Embryo Transfer tomorrow!!
Tomorrow morning (Saturday) at 10:00 I'm going in for my embryo transfer. I'm nervous as I can be. The embryos are being thawed as we speak, and when I get in, they'll tell me how many survived the thaw. My biggest fear is that none will have survived, and I'm trying to prepare myself for that possibility.
Anyway, I would really appreciate prayers that our embryos will thaw correctly, and begin growing again and will be healthy and ready for transfer. And also prayers that my body will be receptive and do what it's supposed to do to prepare a home for them.
I'm going to be a nervous wreck driving up to SLC in the morning, and then going into the doctor's office. And then, if we do indeed have embryos to transfer, I'll be a nervous wreck again for the next 2 weeks until we find out the results. Again, trying to prepare myself for the very real possibility that this won't work, but its hard not to start hoping when you're doing all of this.
We were on our way into the airport yesterday, actually just got through security, when my IVF nurse called to ask if I'd started my progesterone shots. Uh, no, you never gave me instructions to do so!! She asked if I had my supplies with me (I did, no way I'm going to risk my meds getting lost with my baggage), and then told me to hurry and go do my first progesterone shot as soon as I could, since I needed 3 doses before transfer. I guess they wanted to transfer today, but I hadn't started my progesterone shots. I was scared to death because the progesterone shots are intramuscular shots, as opposed to the subcutaneous shots I'm used to, and the progesterone is in this really viscous oil. Those shots hurt like the dickens, and I always made Ben give me those shots in our previous IVF's, but he wasn't with me so I knew I had to do it myself. So we got to our gate, and I got the shot ready and headed into the ladies' room. Mosey came with me, and I think I seriously freaked him out as I stuck that enormous needle (it is 1.5 inches long) straight into my backside. I was very proud of myself, I did it first try. But Mosey started yelling, "No mom, that hurts, that hurts!" I don't know what the other people in the restroom thought I was doing to my poor little boy. So anyway, now I've got a sore rear from 2 of those shots so far, and I'm hoping I'll have at least 8 more weeks of them! (if I get pregnant, I have to stay on the shots till week 10).
Utah is beautiful, the boys are in awe of the mountains, as they are every time we go here. We went to Liz's house (Ben's little sister) for a while today to swim in their pool and play with her two little boys, and then we drove the Alpine loop from American Fork canyon up around and down through Provo canyon. We stopped midway through and hiked a short way up the mountainside in the beautiful pine forest. They wanted to hike more, but my legs are just not cooperating much right now. I told them when Ben comes next weekend, he'll take them on a longer hike.
Ok, that's it for tonight. I'll check in tomorrow night and let you all know how the transfer went.
Anyway, I would really appreciate prayers that our embryos will thaw correctly, and begin growing again and will be healthy and ready for transfer. And also prayers that my body will be receptive and do what it's supposed to do to prepare a home for them.
I'm going to be a nervous wreck driving up to SLC in the morning, and then going into the doctor's office. And then, if we do indeed have embryos to transfer, I'll be a nervous wreck again for the next 2 weeks until we find out the results. Again, trying to prepare myself for the very real possibility that this won't work, but its hard not to start hoping when you're doing all of this.
We were on our way into the airport yesterday, actually just got through security, when my IVF nurse called to ask if I'd started my progesterone shots. Uh, no, you never gave me instructions to do so!! She asked if I had my supplies with me (I did, no way I'm going to risk my meds getting lost with my baggage), and then told me to hurry and go do my first progesterone shot as soon as I could, since I needed 3 doses before transfer. I guess they wanted to transfer today, but I hadn't started my progesterone shots. I was scared to death because the progesterone shots are intramuscular shots, as opposed to the subcutaneous shots I'm used to, and the progesterone is in this really viscous oil. Those shots hurt like the dickens, and I always made Ben give me those shots in our previous IVF's, but he wasn't with me so I knew I had to do it myself. So we got to our gate, and I got the shot ready and headed into the ladies' room. Mosey came with me, and I think I seriously freaked him out as I stuck that enormous needle (it is 1.5 inches long) straight into my backside. I was very proud of myself, I did it first try. But Mosey started yelling, "No mom, that hurts, that hurts!" I don't know what the other people in the restroom thought I was doing to my poor little boy. So anyway, now I've got a sore rear from 2 of those shots so far, and I'm hoping I'll have at least 8 more weeks of them! (if I get pregnant, I have to stay on the shots till week 10).
Utah is beautiful, the boys are in awe of the mountains, as they are every time we go here. We went to Liz's house (Ben's little sister) for a while today to swim in their pool and play with her two little boys, and then we drove the Alpine loop from American Fork canyon up around and down through Provo canyon. We stopped midway through and hiked a short way up the mountainside in the beautiful pine forest. They wanted to hike more, but my legs are just not cooperating much right now. I told them when Ben comes next weekend, he'll take them on a longer hike.
Ok, that's it for tonight. I'll check in tomorrow night and let you all know how the transfer went.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
