2. In some ways, I am a really, really slow learner. I was reading a friend's blog the other day. She was talking about her son who just had a birthday. As she was describing some issues she had with that child when he was younger, she mentioned how he responds to positive reinforcement about a million times better than punishment. I've known this is true for many kids for a long time, of course. It probably works best for most kids. And I've tried to do that with my kids-- by praising and giving lots of affirmation when my children behave well. But I've still resorted to punishment, or threats of punishment, when my children are non-compliant. But I got to thinking today when I was in a situation with one of my boys in which I was threatening to "count him" (one, two, three, you're out), and to banish him to his room when friends came over this afternoon if he did not comply. I realized that I was resorting to punishment, or threat thereof at that particular instant. I wondered if there was a positive way I could respond to influence him to change his behavior, instead of resorting to "discipline." So, when he got to a two, and was really deserving to be counted at a three, instead I put my arm around him and told him that I knew he hated math, it was boring, he didn't want to do it, that he thought it was too hard and he couldn't do it. Then I told him how smart he is, that he *is* good at math, whether he thought so or not. I told him I knew he could do it, and I was impressed with how well he has done in math so far. Guess what? It worked! I know, shocking. No one could have guessed that outcome. :-) But he finished his math, his attitude changed, I didn't have to count him any more, and disaster was averted! I know I've stumbled upon this way of responding to this boy before, but I never really thought of it as positive reinforcement, because I was not "rewarding" good behavior, per se. Now that I can more clearly see that I have two choices when we come to a stand off, and that one of them is negative, punishment based, and the other is positive, encouragement based, I'm hoping this will help me find my way out of these parenting snarls a little more easily. Why has it taken me 10 years to think of things in these terms?
3. Ben and I went on an early date night tonight, to our favorite place, Lowes. :-) We're thinking about replacing some of our windows, and wanted to price things out, and then got sucked into admiring beautiful new kitchen cabinets and granite countertops. Fun stuff. We probably are going to embark on some major household projects in the coming months, and it's fun to plan, or to dream at least. The boys stayed home, got themselves dinner, and watched the very first Star Trek pilot episode from 1965. What a kick to watch those actors from almost 50 years ago! The technology was so primitive, that it really seemed like an amateur high school video project for a class. Wow, have things changed. I think my boys were pretty nonplussed by the whole thing. :-)
4. A few minutes ago, I tried to take a cell phone picture of Sandy in her favorite sleeping position. Well, she has doggy ESP and can always tell when I'm trying to take a picture of her, and she woke up. I took a picture of her anyway, even though she moved and wasn't quite as bizarrely contorted as usual. I laughed out loud when I uploaded the picture from my phone onto the computer.
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