03/06/12

1.  I got Joseph to do his piano practicing before breakfast!  Miracle!  I'm hoping he found the day a little more pleasant.

2.  Another parenting conundrum:  I have a child who is very, very sensitive to being "blamed."  Any words of correction are perceived as "blaming."  He's been this way since he was very little.  He has developed a bit of a persecution complex-- everyone is always against him.  He'll bring up things from 3 years ago (seriously, this happened today) as evidence for whatever "wrong" he is currently railing against.  At breakfast a minor incident which could have been ended by a simple, "Oops, sorry, didn't mean to do that," ended up in a long, drawn-out argument resulting in this child jumping on one of his brothers, necessitating me to banish him to the closet for a few minutes until he could come out and be calm.  I could go on with many more examples of this.  Their are two problems.  First of all, most of the time he is not being "blamed."  A correction is not "blaming," and telling a child to be more careful is also not "blaming."  But it is useless trying to tell him "I'm not blaming you!" because he will argue his point to the death.  Also, his sensitivity to being blamed leads to extreme defensiveness, to the point where he denies what he actually did.  He denies it so furiously that I believe he actually convinces himself.  I'm not sure how to convince him he's not being blamed, or help him to acknowledge his responsibility when he should.  The second problem, and bigger one to me, is that I know that this child really and truly believes (at least at the moment) that everyone is against him.  He really believes that I get mad at him and not at his brothers, let them get away with things and not him.  He believes that his brothers team up against him.  I know he feels very hurt.  I think he's completely wrong in these feelings, but I believe the feelings are real.  That makes me so sad!  I hate to think of my boy feeling like I favor his brothers, and that I always want to get him in trouble!  That is horrible! 
I don't know what to do other than to try to give him extra positive affirmation when he is being good.  I could probably do better at that.  I do try to make an effort, but I guess I need to bring it on a little heavier.

3.  We had scouts today.  We worked on Achievement 4, "Home Safety."  The boys role-played what to do when a stranger knocks at the door and they are home alone (Joseph was a very persistent stranger), and what to say on the phone if their mom is not there.  Joseph called each boy and they got a chance to practice, using my cell-phone.  8 and 9 year old boys are a kick.  :-)  For snacks we finally got rid of the last of the rice crispy treats.  Thank goodness. 

4.  I'm going to be very glad a year from now when the election is over.  The anxiety is driving me crazy.  Actually I worry that I'm having a little chemical anxiety, and my brain is using the excuse of the elections as the scapegoat cause.  My response feels more extreme than the situation warrants.  I'm glad Super Tuesday is over, in any event.  I wish the results had been a bit more clear-cut.