We went to Lowe's this afternoon to get some new handles for our kitchen cabinets. Lowes is not Joseph's favorite store and he wanted to stay in the car. It was a cool, cloudy afternoon, and Joseph is a good boy, so we let him.
After about 15 minutes in the store, we hear on the intercom, "Will the owner of the 2004 Astrovan, license plate___ please come to customer service." Ben and I just looked at each other and said, "Joseph." Ben went up to the front, saw police there, but was more worried about Joseph and so went straight outside. There were 3 police cars surrounding the van.
It turns out someone saw Joseph alone in the van and called the police. They told the police they thought a 4 year old child was alone in the car. Joseph was pretty offended that they thought he was 4!
Texas law says that children 7 and older can stay unaccompanied in the car, so everything was fine, and the police apologized for scaring Joseph (he was in tears). Joseph did a good job and wouldn't open the car door until the policemen actually showed him their badge. I told him if it ever happens again (and hopefully it won't, but in this world of busybodies, you never know), he doesn't even have to open the door for the police. He can just tell them he has to wait for his mom or dad.
So Joseph came back in the store with Ben and a handful of police badge stickers and temporary tattoos. And now he knows I'm not kidding when I tell Mosey *he* can't stay in the car because the police will come and take me to jail!
I have very mixed feelings about people who call the police for this kind of thing. Joseph is 7 1/2, obviously not 4. It was about 50 degrees outside, and cloudy. No chance at all of overheating (plus Joseph is certainly capable of getting out of the car if he needs to). He was in a locked van in a very safe community. Was it really necessary to call the police?
I've never been a helicopter mom in any sense of the word. I believe in giving my kids the opportunity to be responsible for themselves and to live up to my expectations, and they do. I leave them at home frequently for short periods of time, with strict instructions, and they follow through to the letter and feel good about themselves for it. I know that I can trust them, but I also know that I can't necessarily trust other people, and I always encourage them to come with me for that reason. But they have to learn responsibility some time, and the only way they will do so is if they are given opportunities to be responsible for themselves.
I felt like leaving a note on the other people's car (they had parked next to our van), saying that our child was old enough to stay in the car by himself, and they wasted the police's time and traumatized my son. But I didn't.
7 comments:
I cant believe that!! OH MY GOSH! Were those people totally retarded or what!??! Some people are just stupid and have no use of there *Good* judgment!
I'm a helicoptor mom. :)
But then...I worked with sex offenders.
I do leave my kids in the car to run into the gas station though...but I lock the doors and watch them through the window the whole time. What can I say...I'm paranoid.
Check out
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/10/how-could-any-parent-forget-th/
and
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html?wpisrc=newsletter&sid=ST2009030602446
Read these articles. Seriously. I'm sure the mother who called the police was more worried about your son than she was trying to make a statement about what kind of mother you are.
Wouldn't you be so grateful if it HAD been an accident? Luckily it wasn't-- and yeah, from your side of the situation, she totally over reacted. But she didn't know that and she was just trying to help out a little kid. We could probably use more people like that, watching out for others.
Like I said, I have mixed feelings about the situation. There ARE times when calling the police is obviously the right thing to do. I'm not even regretful it happened in this case; I think it sent a good message to my kids. I just believe that as a society we have swung way too far to the "butting into other people's business" side of things, and many people have a lack of common sense when evaluating the danger of a situation. I also think there are many steps that can and should be taken BEFORE the police are called (go into the store to have the parent paged, for instance).
Of course there are tragedies that occur every day, there are stupid and neglectful parents. I know all of this. There are also good families' lives that are destroyed, good parents' reputations that are ruined, innocent children who are traumatized when "the system" gets involved needlessly.
K, you TOTALLY should do a "mug shot" picture. :)
Poor Joseph, at least he got stickers :)
It's good to know about that law. I've wondered.
I never feel good about leaving my kids in the car if I can't see them because I'm so paranoid about kidnappers. Although once I ran into Party City to see if they carried baby shower invitations and left my kids in the car. I was in there for maybe two minutes. On my way out this lady stopped me and completely grilled me on how old my kids were and why they were in the car.
I told her my 12 year old was in there with them (it wasn't true, but we have tinted windows, so it could have been true. I think my oldest kid in the car was 10). I was really mad at the lady. There are lots of really awful parents out there. She should pick on them. Not on the poor lady who doesn't want to drag six kids into Party City for 2 minutes.
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