I slept in a weird position last night. I woke up once with my left leg totally asleep, and then woke up in the morning with a terrible crick in my neck which still hasn't gone away. (One of the many annoyances of MS-- it's hard to change position when I'm sleeping, so I tend to stay in the exact same position, even when it's a bad one.)
When I got up, my left foot was still really numb (more so than normal) and had that "dead" feeling you get when your circulation is cut off. I thought it would go away after a few minutes of being up and moving around, but it didn't. It stayed numb and weird-feeling until about 2:00 this afternoon when it finally wore off.
Now this is one of the most annoying annoyances of MS. Anyone else would just assume they slept wrong, and figure the weird sensations will wear off. But me? Any abnormal sensations (or lack thereof) make me immediately think that I'm relapsing. And then my mind immediately goes to the worst case scenario. I'm relapsing. My MS is coming back. I'm going to be dead in 2 years. It's really cheerful, and such a fun way to spend 7 hours of my life.
Happily, my foot now feels back to normal (well, relatively speaking, anyway), and I'm no longer fixating on my own death.
The good thing about it, is that the every day annoyances of MS don't seem nearly so bad after a morning like I had. This has happened a few times since my transplant, and each time whatever it is resolves itself, it feels like another reprieve.
Off to bed now. I'm going to try NOT to sleep like I did last night. :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I wouldn't call that an "annoyance" I would call it "panic factor 10"...
But then...maybe that's just me.
Oh Gabrielle, I'm sorry for that horrible morning. Sometimes I'll get caught in the same position because Cici's curled up next to me and I don't want to wake her--but despite the discomfort, at least it doesn't seem like a portent of a terminal disease!
Post a Comment