02/10/2013 Family letter

Hi Family,
Another week of seminary done!
I'm feeling slightly more confident, but still haven't managed to get anywhere near enough sleep during seminary weeks.  
We had a good week.  The weather has been beautiful-- 70's every day, and a little bit of rain over the past couple of days.  Can I say again for the 400th time, I love winter in Austin?  Mosey turned over a new leaf after having a very rough day on Monday in which he did not finish his schoolwork until well after 8:00 at night.  He made himself a schedule, got up at 5:50 every day, and finished his schoolwork by lunchtime most of the rest of the week!  He wants me to wake him up at 5:50 for this week as well, which is going to be a little more painful since it is my off-week for seminary.
Let's see, what else of note this week?


1.  Mosey shocked his piano teacher this week when he came inside in the middle of Joseph's lesson holding a big fat lizard by the tail and asking her if she had a tupperware he could put it in.  I was off picking Brigham up from violin lessons and missed the whole thing.  Marti Dudgeon has 30 years of teaching experience, but no children of her own, and so this was a first for her.  :-)  She is so sweet, though, and managed to keep her cool and fetch him a tupperware to use as a temporary critter-catcher.

2.  Along reptile-lines, Joseph also caught a big garter snake in the backyard on Monday or Tuesday, and kept it in a tall kitchen garbage can for a couple of days.  This snake was not happy about being caught, and tried to strike at anyone who got too close, so we didn't keep it for long.

3.  On Thursday I had my final Cub Scout-related meeting as the new leaders and the old leaders got together to pass the baton.  I have really mixed feelings about it.  Teaching seminary is definitely ENOUGH for me right now!  But I do love those boys so much, and I had such a good time observing my boy interacting with the others (for better or for worse).  I've questioned the church's involvement in scouts before (ironically my biggest complaint has been the fact that in the Church, people don't volunteer for the scouting positions, but instead are called-- theoretically this shouldn't make a difference in the attitude and effort that people put into the calling-- if they volunteered or were called, but the reality is that it does matter, and I think outside the Church some scouting programs are probably a lot better because there is more enthusiasm and energy on the part of the leaders and the boys), but even if the church wasn't involved in scouts, there would be another little-boys' program they would be doing, like Activity Days for girls, so it may as well be scouting.  I'd hate to have to decide between a church program for boys and Scouting.  Some of the requirements are a little silly, but the boys have fun, and I had fun with them, and I felt like there were lots of opportunities for really teaching these little boys.  I have really enjoyed this calling!  It hasn't been particularly time-intensive, and it's a calling with a lot of freedom to really make it your own.  Mostly, I've just loved the boys.  So here is where my insecurity kicks in big time.  I have loved this calling, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job.  I thought the boys liked me and generally liked coming to scouts.  And yet, it has taken literally months for the ward to find two people to accept the calling of Den Leader.  I was so sad to be made aware of the negativity toward Cub Scouts in our ward.  I know it's perfectly ridiculous to take this sort of thing personally, but I can't help but wonder, did I do something wrong?  Has everything I've done over this past year really been so meaningless that other people see no value in taking the reigns?  I know it's silly to think this way.  It probably has nothing at all to do with me.  But I can't help but tell myself that if I had been a better Den Leader, other people would be able to see the good in it, too.  It has been a little stab in the heart every time Ben told me another person turned down the calling (he never told me who they were, and I wouldn't want to know), or I heard another person say how much they did not want to be called into scouting... :-(  Anyway, the meeting on Thursday was sort of a low point for me as I processed all of this.  I felt like crying.  I guess all I can do at this point is move on, try not to feel too bad, and pray for the new leaders and pray for the boys, so that is what I am doing!

4.  Brigham is getting really good at math.  His problems are getting challenging even to me sometimes!  He worked on one problem on Wednesday that took more than 45 minutes, and resulted in my great big white board easel just covered in calculations.  I had to leave that up for a couple of days just so he could admire his handiwork.  

5.  On Friday my boys invited a bunch of other boys over for an airsoft war.  Mosey got a new gun this week, one he bought with his own money and was quite expensive.  It is fully-automatic and higher-powered than the other guns we have.  He was so excited to use it in the airsoft war.  It ended somewhat disastrously, though, when he lost his temper and kept shooting Joseph and another boy at point-blank range when they were trying to surrender.  Mosey's gun has been confiscated, he spent most of the rest of the evening in his room, and had to endure a *lot* of lecturing by his mom.  I think he is embarrassed by it now.  I hope he is.  Joseph is worried no one will want to come and play again.  I don't think that will be an issue, but it was a bad situation and I was very embarrassed.  Mosey is only just 9 years old.  It's easy to forget he isn't the same age as his brothers.  I probably shouldn't have let him get that gun in the first place.  
After I sent him to his room, I heard him crying and carrying on, "Why did I get that gun??  Why, why?  That gun is cursed!  I've only gotten in trouble since I got the gun!  Why did I get it?"  So I went in and talked to him about personal responsibility and self control and all that good stuff.
The trouble is that Brigham and Joseph, being older, are better at airsoft than he is.  He gets frustrated and loses his temper, and gets in trouble.  He wanted a better gun in part so he could be more competitive against Brigham and Joseph.  So when he still found himself at a disadvantage, even with his better gun, it was more than he could stand and he lost it.  
When he gets upset, though, a lot of other stuff tends to come to light.  As he was crying and carrying on, he said, "Why do Brigham and Joseph get to be twins?  It's not fair!  Why don't I get to be a twin?!"  That made me feel sad.  I hadn't realized he feels left out, especially since Brigham and Joseph hardly ever band against him-- Mosey and Joseph sometimes seem to have more in common that Brigham and Joseph.  But those feelings are there, nonetheless.  Poor boy.

6.  Oh yeah, one more thing!  The CEO at Ben's company retired this week!  Ben did NOT see that coming and called me in shock on Tuesday or Wednesday (whenever it was) when he found out.  I'm really optimistic about what this means for the company (and for Ben).    

I think that's it for tonight.  I hope everyone has a great week coming up!

Love,

Gabrielle