08/21 Weekly family letter

Trevor, our erstwhile pet toad.  Isn't he sweet?  :-)

Dear Everyone,
Here it is Sunday morning, and I'm writing my family letter.  We'll see how much I get done before church.  After church I will be busy making TWO birthday cakes!  Yes, my little bitty baby twins are turning TEN years old tomorrow.  It is simply not possible.  I'm excited for them-- ten is a big birthday!  But I gotta say this growing up business is keeping me up at night.  Every year is another year closer to when they leave home, and I can't stand it.
But ANYWAY, I'm trying hard not to think about that.
This last week flew by again-- time is accelerating toward the new school year.  I hope I'll be ready.
Here's the week in review:
Monday:  Piano lessons.  One of my boys had a small "encounter" with their piano teacher in which he was unwilling to practice something she wanted him to do.  She wouldn't back down (I'm glad), and they stayed at the piano an extra 10 minutes until he was finally willing to comply.  This is a first for him with this teacher, so I'm hoping it was just a bad day.  But whenever my boys don't show deference to their teachers, I get really stressed out, wondering if I'm raising hoodlums-in-the-making.  I would have been completely humiliated to have any sort of confrontation with any teacher, and I cannot relate at all to my boys' occasional lack of deference to teachers or other people in authority.  From my reading on raising boys I realize that some of this is simply due to gender differences, but that still does not help me understand why they do this, or how to motivate them NOT to do it again.  I don't want to threaten consequences for that kind of behavior, I want it to be inborn!  I want them to feel personal shame at being thought of as disrespectful.  But I don't know how to accomplish that except to tell them that they *should* be ashamed.
The day improved, though, and the rest of the afternoon was productive-- more practicing, Joseph's flute lesson, etc.
Tuesday:  In the morning we did practicing and and I continued getting organized for school, the same thing I've been working on for the past couple of weeks.  In the afternoon I went visiting teaching.  A conversation we had has sent me on another flight of neurosis and I've spent the past few days wondering if I'm doing the right thing, having the boys involved in so many activities.  Is it better for them to have long, boring, empty summer days?  Am I over-scheduling my kids?  I know I definitely feel over--scheduled sometimes, but I'm perfectly alright with that if I'm doing right by my boys.  I'll have plenty of unscheduled time after they're grown.  I know I am very grateful for all the opportunities Mama and Daddy gave to me, and I want to provide those same things for the boys.  I don't *think* they're over-scheduled individually (they don't complain about it, anyway), it's just that when I'm making everything happen for all 3 of them it is a lot for me.  Anyway, it's just more for me to obsess over.  Am I trying to relive my childhood through my children?  Am I trying to force them to achieve my dreams for them?  These are hard questions for me.  I don't think so.  I'm trying to give them opportunities and skills that will enrich their lives and for which they will be grateful one day (and even now, I think).  I guess I just have to be true to my own instincts as a mother, but that doesn't stop me from second guessing myself all the time.
Joseph and Mosey had Tae Kwon Do at 4:30 and later in the evening Ben took Mosey and Joseph to the church parking lot and Mosey FINALLY learned to ride his two-wheeler!  I've been telling him for months and months that he can do it, he just needs to actually try!  The problem with bike-riding is that you never can do it by yourself unless you get going with confidence.  The faster you go, the easier it is, and yet going fast was what scared Mosey.  the faster you go the harder you fall.  Anyway, he finally asked Ben to help him learn to ride because he thought that people would think it was weird to see a 7 year old riding around the block on a big-wheels.  :-)  See boys ARE sometimes motivated by what other people think of them!
Wednesday:  Joseph and Mosey had Tae Kwon Do in the morning, during which time I took Brigham to get new goggles at the pool supply store.  Then I took them over to a friend's house to go swimming.  I was supposed to go see "The Help" with a couple of ladies I visit teach, while the boys stayed to play at one of their homes.  But I scheduled Mosey's first cello lesson for 3:00 that afternoon.  It wasn't until Wednesday morning that it dawned on me that there was no way I could watch a 2 hour 17 minute movie (not to mention the half hour of previews!) that starts at 12:30, and get back in time for a cello lesson at 3:00.  Oops.  And I didn't want to reschedule the cello lesson because Mosey had been asking me EVERY DAY if his cello teacher had emailed me yet about his lesson.  Every time my phone rang he asked me if it was his cello teacher.  He was SO excited!  I dropped the boys off to swim anyway (and play on their Wii!!  A first for them, I think), since I had already told them they were going to do that, and I went home and cleaned the house in peace and quiet.  :-)
Mosey's cello lesson went well.  His teacher is definitely more formal than his violin teacher, but I think he will be good for Mosey who needs to be challenged and held accountable by someone other than his mom. :-)  Really, I think the fact that he wants to play and has been asking to play for a few months now is going to make a huge difference.
After Tae Kwon Do I went home and changed my clothes and headed down to pick up Ben.  He was going to dinner with the CFO and his wife and their reinsurance brokers, so I tagged along for a free date.  Texas Mutual is a big client for these reinsurers so they come a couple of times a year and wine and dine them to keep their business.  The evening was marred by the darned speeding ticket I got on the way down there!  I haven't gotten a ticket in almost 10 years.  I was very mad at myself because I'd seen this particular speed trap a couple of times already this past week.  But I got behind a car going slow in the left lane who wouldn't move over, so I got over into the next lane and was accelerating to pass, when I saw the motorcycle cop parked on the side of the freeway with his radar gun.  I tried to decelerate, but it was too late.  I saw him pull out and sure enough he got behind me and turned on his lights.  Grrr.  I was speeding, though, so it was a legitimate ticket.  He was nice enough, and honestly I felt so sorry for him out there in his heavy black leather motorcycle jacket sitting in the sun in the 103 degree heat.  That's got to be a really crummy job to have on days like we've been having recently.  He was nice enough to make it the FASTEST ticket I've ever seen anyone get.  He had my license for probably 3 minutes or less before he was back with the ticket.  And he did bump me down to only going 10 mph above the speed limit instead of the 13 mph I was actually driving at, which saves me $30, so there's that.
Anyway, the dinner was nice.  We went to a super swanky steak restaurant downtown.  The reinsurance brokers are really nice, and one of them was really friendly and joked around with us the whole evening.  He talked Ben into ordering escargot and turtle soup!  Ewww, ugh, gross.  Ben said they were both very tasty, and I'm sure they were but still, no thank you.  We had a good time, and ate the best "deconstructed" lemon meringue pie we've ever had.  OK, so it was the only deconstructed lemon meringue pie (basically the filling is at the bottom, meringue on top, with the crust crumbled on top) we've ever had, but it was still delicious.  And Ben doesn't like lemony deserts, so the fact that he raved about it means it was pretty fantastic.
Thursday:  We went to another friend's apartment to go swimming with her and her son who is 8.  The boys had a good time, and so did I (I stayed in the pool pretty much the whole time).  Mosey learned to jump into the deep end and swim to the side!  He can swim, but hasn't ever been confident enough to jump straight into the deep end.  Brigham was trying to learn to dive (leaned over into the water and basically sort of toppled in arms and head first-- a good start!), and Mosey wanted to dive, too.  So he put his hands together over his head and jumped straight into the water, feet first, fully convinced that he was diving.  :-)  Cute.  My friend and her son have a new 7 week old Golden Retriever puppy who is SO cute.  The boys are salivating over a golden retriever now, but I really don't think I can take the dog hair, no matter how cute and sweet those dogs are.  I'm not ready for another dog any time soon.
Mosey had his yellow-belt award ceremony in the evening.  I accidentally brought him a half hour early, so he had his ceremony with the little tiger cub group, but he didn't seem to mind.  I took him to get a smoothie afterward and then went home and made macaroni and cheese for dinner.  I've been so bad about making good dinners this summer.  It's hard to be motivated when it is so hot, and when the boys are so happy and excited when I just make macaroni and cheese.  :-)
Friday:  I can't remember what we did on Friday.  I don't think we really did anything, just practicing, etc.  There was an Elders Quorum hot dog and ice cream social down by the lake.  Ben took the boys and I stayed home.  I just can't be out in the heat.  It doesn't cool down below 95 degrees until well after 9:00 PM.  But the boys had a great time and Joseph came home with a great big toad he caught.  He's put it in an empty garbage can and has been feeding it crickets.  He's a pretty entertaining guy, especially when he catches crickets.  Sluuurp!  This is only going to be a short-term pet, though.  Meanwhile, the boys have named him Trevor.  :-)  (After Neville's toad in Harry Potter, but you all knew that, right?  RIGHT??)
Saturday:  Saturday chores.  6 loads of laundry.  The boys helped Ben clean the pool.  Violin lessons in the afternoon.  Their teacher informed us that he's moving to Boston in 2 months.  Waaah!  Now I have to find a new teacher!  This stresses me out.  I like this teacher.  I like my boys to take music lessons from male teachers if possible, and there aren't as many male teachers as female.  Maybe it doesn't matter, but I do want my boys to have role models in music that they can look to, as well as experience with different teaching styles.  So I have to start looking around again.  We went home and picked Ben up and went to Marie Callenders for dinner where all three boys got... Macaroni and cheese.  (See?  Why should I bother cooking anything else when that's all they really want?? :-))  Then home, more laundry folding, and bed.
Sunday:  Church day.  (I didn't get this letter finished before church.  It's now 7:34 PM.)  My committee leader is moving and today was her last day at church.  I will miss her a lot.  She's been awesome in her calling (really, so good), as well as a good friend.  It's hard for me to be very social, simply because I'm really busy, and because physically it's difficult to go out and do social things with other women.  So her friendship has been precious to me.  She's not moving far, but still, things won't be the same.  One of the many unanticipated losses that has accompanied my loss of mobility has been the opportunity and ease of making friends, so I really value the ones I've been able to make here.
Now, as soon as Ben gets back from home teaching, we're going to have dinner and go to bed!  (Well, the boys will, I have got some baking to do tonight.)  Birthdays tomorrow!
Have a great week everyone!