Monday, November 26, 2007

Thanksgiving Madness


Sunset over the Sonoran Desert



Beautiful Sonoran landscape



Silly boys pretending to poke the barell cactus


Ok, so we are back from our trip to Arizona! We had a great time. We stayed at Ben's twin sister's house in Gilbert. She has a 4 1/2 year old daughter who I think was in heaven with all these crazy boys to play with for a week. Josie, the 9 month old, tolerated our presence pretty well.
The drive out wasn't too bad, it's about 15 hours drive time. We left Friday night, drove about 3 hours and then stayed the night in a pretty yucky motel in the middle of nowhere, and then drove the rest of the way Saturday, arriving at Angee's house at about 9:30PM AZ time. Only one glitch on the way there when we got pulled over just outside of El Paso. The speed limit changed from 80 to 70, but silly us, we decided to stay with the flow of traffic, and subsequently got pulled over and got a nice little speeding ticket. Ben was very, very annoyed. But that's one of the hidden costs of road trips, and still far less expensive than 5 plane tickets. Plus Ben still hasn't gotten his TX driver's license, so this ticket will stay with his FL license and should therefore not result in any increased insurance rates. One time when procrastination really paid off!
Sunday we went to church with Angee's family, then met Reuben and Raegan's new little baby boy (Reuben is Ben's oldest brother), and then went over to Tracie's house to see her and her little kids. Not so little anymore actually! Tracie is Ben's older sister who also lives in Gilbert. She has 5 kids ranging from 15 down to 2. Her two year old is the most verbally precocious little 2 year old I've ever met. I think he speaks better than I do.
Monday Angee and I took the boys to this fun little train park where the kids rode on a little train and then took a ride on the Carousel. They also played in the playground and got incredibly dirty playing in some mud. Ahhh, boys...
Tuesday we went to the Sonoran Desert museum, which isn't exactly a museum. Kind of a cross between a desert botanical garden and a zoo. It is in the Sonoran national park outside of Tucson and it was incredibly beautiful. We got to see hawks, bobcats, a black bear, coatis, foxes, some other kinds of wild cats, a variety of snakes and lizards and spiders, a bunch of birds in the net-enclosed aviary, and assorted other desert animals. Poor Mosey wet his pants on the way over so he toured the whole place in a t-shirt and diaper since we had no change of clothes for him. Poor guy. The pictures above are from that outing.
Wednesday we hung out at Angee's house and the kids played outside and removed approximately 50% of the rocks from the rock border around her back lawn, placing them in huge piles on the back patio. I'm not sure why they did this, but it sure provided hours of fun for the kids. We went to Tracie's house in the afternoon where they met up with their Utah cousins and generally wreaked havoc on the Hancock household.
Thursday was Thanksgiving of course, which we spent doing the usual Thanksgiving thing-- eating absurd amounts of delicious food. And wreaking more havoc on Tracie's house. Tracie and her family JUST moved into their house 2 weeks ago. It's definitely broken in now. In the afternoon I took family pictures for everyone, including a big-group shot, and a grandkids-only shot, both of which were... interesting. At least they documented that everyone was there at the same place at the same time. I haven't opened those up yet, but I'm sure they turned out cute. After pictures we went to see the Bee Movie which was a fun outing although I don't think we'll be rushing out to buy that DVD when it comes out.
Friday all the cousins and their parents went to the Phoenix zoo. This is a nice little zoo which my kids enjoyed a lot. They got to go on a Camel ride with Ben. It was pretty funny to see all 3 boys and Ben crammed up on top of one Camel. But it was fun for them and I'm sure something they will remember. At least, I hope so, since I didn't bring my camera! (D'oh!)
Saturday we got up, hung out for a while at Tracie's, eating a delicious pancake breakfast, and then packed up our stuff and were on our way. We stopped at Grandpa and Grandma Hansen's house near Benson, and the boys got treated to a dune buggy ride and grandpa's famous mesquite smoked turkey. It was worth the detour just for the turkey.
Ben was feeling quite ill, he came down with a horrible sore throat and cough which he battled all week, and Saturday was the worst of it I think. He was anxious to get home ASAP and drove all the way to El Paso that night.
We stayed in a hotel, and then woke up to snow! We toured El Paso a little, driving down the highway that runs right along the border with Mexico. It was pretty surreal to see Super Target, Office Depot, Khols, and other typical American stores on one side of the highway, and dirt roads and tin shacks beyond the razor wire fences and border patrol trucks on the other side.
It was cold and snowy for quite a while out of El Paso. We let the boys get out and play in the snow for a while after much begging. Then it was the long, long drive across west Texas. The boys did remarkably well considering the long ride. A few moments of misbehavior, but altogether, they were incredibly good, listening to most of Harry Potter book 6, and watching Shrek 3 and Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone on the DVD player we borrowed.
The last adventure of our trip was when we were only about an hour away from home. Mosey had to go to the bathroom so we pulled over to the side of the road to let him relieve himself. Little did we know it had rained heavily the day before (must have been the same storm system that dumped snow across El Paso), and sure enough, we got stuck in the mud. Ben tried mightily to get us out for about 45 minutes, with no luck. I called the highway patrol and they came with a tow truck, but it was going to cost us $140 just to get pulled out of the mud. Luckily a teenage boy stopped to see if we needed help. He went and got his girlfriend's father who had a 4 wheel drive pickup and a tow rope, and he got us out of there in about 3 minutes, for free. Texans are so nice. So we made it home last night around 10:30, muddy and tired, but home!
Mister was VERY happy to see us. He caused us some stress during the week as he broke a hole in the fence and escaped a few times. But nice neighbors brought him back, and then Ben's friend Eddie came and got him and closed the dog door so he couldn't get back out. We had ward members come and feed our fish, and they let him outside once a day for the last few days.
Today the boys went to school and Ben and I took care of a bunch of errands and saw my doctor. I'm most likely going to be admitted back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon or Wednesday morning. We'll do another 5 day round of Solumedrol, plus some more MRI's and other tests to see what the heck is going on. I'm completely unable to walk now and I can feel the spinal effects moving up my spinal cord day by day. So we need to put a stop to this. I'm getting pretty adept at getting around in a wheelchair, and Ben is really building up his picking-wife-up-and-transferring-to-bed-car-bath-whatever-else-she-needs muscles. At the hospital I'll also have rehab people coming in to help me figure out a few things I am pretty much stumped about. Like how to pull my pants up when I need both arms to hold my body up. I'm sure there must be some method but gosh darned if I can figure it out. My ward is really stepping up to the plate. I've been home one day and I have had 6 different people stopping by or calling to find out how they can help. So I'm not worried about making arrangements for my boys over the next few days which is a HUGE stress lifted from our shoulders.
Anyway, that's all the news that fit to print over the last week or so. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Now we can all start playing Christmas music!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

update, update, update...




Hello Everyone,
Sorry I've been absent for so long from my email updates. I know you all have just been missing them SOOOO much, right? Right??
Things have been all right. The boys are doing great. Brigham and Joseph got their TKD green belts last night, which means they get to move up to the higher classes with some of the more advanced students, and they get to start sparring, which should be interesting! Last week, or maybe 2 weeks ago (can't remember now) Brigham got the Principal's Pride award for Curiosity. He was so cute up there, very serious. I was really happy he got this award, and so soon after Joseph got his. Things get so tricky with twins! I did notice that Brigham is almost the smallest in his class. But not really because he's particularly small, but mostly because there are some HUGE boys in his class!!! Probably some boys born in the summer whose parents held them back, so they could be more than a year older than Brigham. I guess that makes a big difference at his age. Anyway, it doesn't bother him in the least (he doesn't notice), but it was interesting to observe.
That same day Joseph had to bring in peanut butter for a class activity about "peanut butter words." Like the "layer cake words," Joseph really enjoyed the activity, and eating the results, but really didn't have a clue as to what was trying to be demonstrated by the activity. Oh well!
Mosey is still really in to reading. I haven't video'd him yet (what is the proper verb for making a digital video recording? Video-taped isn't correct, recorded isn't right either...), but mama can vouch for how well he is doing. I promise I'm not an obnoxious mom that is pushing him into it, he just seems to be really enjoying it so far. I know it's just because of all the time I spend with Joseph and Brigham reading, Mosey wants in on it too. For him, reading and spelling are a fun game.
He has left Sunshine bear in his backpack since preschool on Monday. Maybe he's moving out of the Sunshine bear stage? I'm not sure.
On Monday night I did some singing practice with the boys, having them practice matching pitch. After observing them in the Primary program, where Brigham was very enthusiastically singing, and very enthusiastically not even attempting to match pitch, I decided to see if he could actually do it. It was pretty funny. He can match pitch often enough that I know he's not tone deaf. But he doesn't really know how to control his voice very well yet. He can identify if I'm singing a note that is higher or lower than another, but he has a hard time raising and lowering his own voice to find a particular tone. Joseph can do it pretty well. Mosey didn't really get the point of the whole activity, although just from hearing him sing songs to himself, I think he can *sort of* carry a tune. But none of my kids are virtuoso singers at this point. I am comforted, though, because I distinctly remember Brigham and Benjamin as little boys, being completely unable to carry a tune, and they both grew to be very good singers. Brigham's son Elijah (I'm talking about my little brother Brigham here, not my son, obviously) is a REALLY good little singer. He's just 2 and he can carry a tune extremely well, and memorizes songs. It is so adorable to hear him. My kids are just as adorable (mommy bias), but not such musical prodigies as Elijah!
Mama came last Saturday to help me out. She surprised me by calling Friday night and announcing that she was coming in on a flight Saturday afternoon. So Saturday Ben took the big boys to Sea World to use up our 2nd day pass from last summer. It was undoubtedly the last warm Saturday of the year, as a warm front came in that day and warmed things up again until last night when it got cold again. Well, cold for us here in Austin anyway. Mosey had a birthday party so he and I did not go. I was not up for going to Sea World in any case, so Mosey and I had a good time getting a present (he picked out a little "My fur-real pet" lamb), and enjoying a princess (and prince) birthday party. There were 11 little princesses and 2 princes. Mosey really enjoyed hunting in the sand box for jewels, and the gluing them on his crown. He made himself a bead necklace (the little girl's mom very thoughtfully provided a selection of "manly" beads including battle ships, safari animals, stars, and other non-sparkly beads), and loved watching Ana Mei blow out the candles on her Disney Princess Castle birthday cake. I figure Mosey will still happily attend princess birthday parties for at least another year or so, right?
Mama came and whipped things into shape around here the past 5 days. Seriously, it was totally amazing. She completely organized my garage, which I thought for sure was like a weeks-long job. She did it in less than 2 days. She did a BUNCH of loads of laundry, cleaned my entire house, moved all the boys clothes from upstairs to downstairs in my room, cooked every meal, put the boys to bed every night, dropped them off and picked them up from school, read to them, and pretty much just took over and let me sit around and enjoy life for 5 days. It was wonderful. And one of the 5 days was Sunday, and another day was completely taken up by a trip to the San Antonio Temple and then going to the boys TKD belt graduation, so really she did all that in like two and a half days. She puts us all to shame.
My legs are getting really bad. I can't drive any more which is a pain. We're borrowing a wheel chair for our Arizona trip, and when we get home, we'll go test-drive some at a wheelchair dealership in Austin to find one that will work for us around the house. It's been pretty tough for me the past couple of weeks, wondering what is going to happen. But our bishop came last night and gave Ben and me the most amazing blessings. On par, maybe even more amazing than either of our patriarchal blessings. Immediately afterward, mama, Ben and I wrote down everything we could remember. Among other things, he blessed me that my worst fears will not happen, and that my body will heal and be able to recover from what is happening. The implication was that it may take a long time and will probably be a struggle, but that I will not always be how I am right now. He blessed us to be able to make the right decisions for my treatment, and that our house will sell soon! I don't think I would have dared to even hope for such a blessing. I don't know how all of it is going to work out, but this morning I woke up and felt completely different. My legs are still horrible, but it makes all the difference in the world to know that things won't *always* be this hard, and that I'm not going to end up bed-ridden or dying before my kids are grown. Those are the fears that have plagued me over the last few months. The information we've been able to find on my condition has not been optimistic, to say the least. But I can get through this if I know there is a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.
The treatment we are most seriously considering at this point is an autologous bone marrow transplant. There have been a number of experimental trials, mostly in Europe, over the last 8-10 years, and the results seem to be getting better and the mortality rates from the procedure decreasing (was about 10%, but refinements in the procedure have lowered that number to less than 5%. Down to 0.8% in one study). A high percentage (60-70% in some studies) of patients actually go into remission for up to 5 years past the study, and presumably longer (the studies just didn't report results past 5 years). As luck (coincidence? divine intervention?) would have it, there is a multi-center study currently recruiting patients at 2 locations in Texas ( M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Southwestern in Dallas), and City of Hope in CA just a short distance away from La Canada. I seem to fit all the inclusion criteria, and don't fall into any of the exclusion criteria, so I have left messages and emails with the coordinators of the study, so we'll see where it goes. The only iffy thing is the disability requirements. There is this expanded disability sliding scale (EDSS) that measures where a person falls in terms of disability. The study wants people between 3.0 and 5.5. I'm currently at a 6.5. However, 5-6 weeks ago I was at a 5.5, and I think that another blast of steroids could bump me back down to a 5.5, at least temporarily. I think that will be ok, I think they just don't want patients with permanent damage placing them at a 6.5. So while I am 6.5 right now, I think that 1 point difference is still due to inflammation, and not permanent nerve damage. But anyway, we'll see what happens.
It's kind of overwhelming to think about what would be required of my family and my ward, were I to have to be hospitalized in Houston or Dallas or CA for 2-3 months. But if it puts me into remission it is undoubtedly worth it.
Here is a link to a website for the study I'm talking about, if any of you medical/science types out there want to read about it.
http://www.halt-ms.com/forpatients.html
Ok, I better end. This is an obscenely long post, sorry. I just haven't felt this optimistic for a long time, so I thought I'd better share the happiness while I can.
We're going to AZ tomorrow evening (well, we're starting our drive to AZ tomorrow evening), so I probably won't update again for a while.
Have a great weekend everyone.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Mosey's awesome dance moves

Odds and Ends

Hello Everyone,
Ben is upstairs making the boys stay in bed, so I have a moment on the computer. I've still got all the Halloween photos to edit, but I just don't feel like it tonight. Tomorrow during Mosey's preschool I'm hoping to get the bulk of them done. I'm not doing any serious editing on them since this is a major freebie for everyone.
So let's see. What else has happened recently besides Halloween and doctors visits? On Monday Mosey had his Halloween party at preschool. The kids and parents all met in the "big room" (Methodist church version of the cultural hall) where the kids sang all their Halloween songs they've been practicing, and then did a costume parade. Mosey was adorable. He did ALL the actions to every song, but I didn't see him crack a smile the entire time. He was very serious. And he marched in the costume parade very seriously in his Funshine Bear outfit. There were 36 little girls in the room (this was several preschool classes, not just one! There are only 12 kids in Mosey's class), and of that 36, 23 of them were princesses!!! Wow, that's a lot of princesses for one room.
Monday afternoon I took the boys to TKD and there was a woman there taking her grandson to TKD for the first time. At first I didn't notice, but then I did. She had 8-9 inch fingernails on her left hand. I was totally grossed out but also irresistibly drawn to looking at them. WHY oh WHY would someone do this??? Her left hand was entirely nonfunctional. The nails curve around in different directions so she can't use her fingers for anything. How does she get dressed? How does she get sleeves around her hand? How does she fix her hair? There are so many things in life that require 2 hands, and she can't do any of them! She was dressed in work clothes, so I assume she works. How can she hold a job and not type? She definitely cannot type with that hand. Why would someone voluntarily give up the use of one hand? I just don't understand.
Thursday was a pretty fun day, since the boys stayed home from school. We did story time at the library and then ate lunch at Target waiting for my prescription. At home the boys cleaned up the house pretty well under my supervision. Took a lot longer than it needed to, with some of the moaning and groaning that was going on, but they'll get better at it.
Friday was school, then a barbecue at the Bradfords and a rousing game of Pictionary which Ben and I lost in an all-play on the VERY last square. We were pretty evenly matched I guess.
Saturday we were all tired. The boys were up till after 10:00 which is crazy for them. But they were up with the sun as usual. I thought Brigham had a birthday party from 6:30 to 8:30 so after lunch we went to Barnes and Noble to pick out a present, then on errands to Fryes, then on a drive to try and make the boys take naps (2 out of 3, not bad). Then when it was time to wake Brigham up to go to the party, I looked at the invitation to get the address and discovered the party was really from 3-5 and we missed it completely. I felt horrible. Brigham was really looking forward to this party, it was at a roller rink, and he hasn't been invited to a party yet. He ended up sleeping all the way through the night, and I don't think he realizes yet that he missed the party, so maybe I just won't clue him in. But I felt really bad.
So that was this week.
Last week, hmmm, hard to remember. I know I baked a lot. I had to make a cake and cookies for the school carnival, and then cupcakes for Brigham's class, they were doing layer cake words (whatever those are-- I asked Brigham and he didn't really know, just knew they made layer cakes with cupcakes, frosting and m&m's). And then another batch of cupcakes for the ward carnival. Last Saturday the boys had their school carnival during the day and the church carnival at night. The school carnival was pretty well done, although everything cost money of course (it is supposed to be a PTA fundraiser, I think, or maybe they had to charge just to cover the cost of everything). The boys had a TKD demonstration in the cafeteria at the beginning which was fun except that Mr. Fisher brought like 3/4 inch pine boards to break, which were WAY too thick. Even the brown belt students couldn't do it. So that was a little embarassing for him I think, but the rest of the demonstration was cute. He usually uses thinner boards that he buys from a martial arts supply place for the younger kids, but he must have forgotten or grabbed the wrong stack or something.
Then the boys did the carnival, eating pizza and cotton candy, going on pony rides, playing games, etc. Ben mostly took them around and I left to go to Goodwill to get some things for their pirate costumes, since I didn't let them wear the scary costumes to the church carnival.
The church carnival was, by all accounts, a great success. There were games and activities put on by the youth from both wards, there was a chilli dinner, and then the trunk or treat at the end. I didn't see any of it because I was running one of the activities, a photography booth where I set up my black backdrop and a little Halloween scene with pumpkins and a moon with a bat flying across. I'll share the ones I did of the boys as soon as I get them processed.
They were up late that night too, needless to say.
The Thursday before that (sorry, I'm going backwards here), the boys went to their first weapons class in TKD. They have joined the black belt club which means their classes are an extra 15 minutes where they work on patterns, and then they have a once a week 45 minute weapons class where they learn to use various martial arts weapon, and also work on some other martial arts techniques (grappling, etc.). They are learning to use numchucks which are these two short metal bars attached by a chain, and you whirl them around and stuff. Takes a lot of coordination and it was kind of comical to watch some of the younger kids (mine included) try to work with them. I'm thinking of making them some light versions with styrofoam and yarn so they can practice at home.
And I think that's it. At least, I can't remember anything before last Thursday, so that will have to be it! Sorry for the recital. Just wanted to catch up a little.


Joseph on the school carnival pony ride



Brigham on the pony



And Mosey on the pony!



Pirate Joseph at the church Halloween party



And Cap'n Brigham!



And Carebear Mosey. Yeah, I caught him in mid-blink. Oh well! I was determined not to overshoot during the carnival-- just one shot per person! And this is the risk you run I guess.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Halloweeeeeeen

Halloween at the Turners' house was fun! I love Halloween, I just think it is good fun for kids. It has always been one of my favorite holidays.
This year the boys picked their own costumes. Joseph picked a "Scream" costume (he called himself the angel of death), Brigham was a Dementor, and Mosey was Funshine Bear (is anyone surprised about that? I got it for $8 off ebay).
I made the big boys choose different costumes for the church Trunk-or-Treat. I didn't think the Angel of Death and a Dementor were exactly appropriate for a church activity. So they were pirates, and very cute. I have pictures of that but haven't uploaded them yet so you'll have to wait.
I waited until the last day to buy pumpkins, I just kept forgetting. So I went to Walmart in the morning, and all the pumpkins were gone. When Ben got home from work, he took Joseph and Mosey to look for pumpkins, but didn't find any in 2 (or 3?) different stores, so he came home with some decorative gourds, these cool green and white pumpkins (which you can't carve), a pineapple, and a watermelon. We hollowed out the pineapple and watermelon and I carved faces into them. Much yummier than regular pumpkin guts. Mosey wanted me to carve one of the little gourds into a jack-o-lantern, so I did so.
We almost had a disaster looking for the boys' masks, Joseph was in tears at one point. Thankfully we found them so all was well. Ben took the boys trick-or-treating and I sat on the porch and gave out candy. We didn't have that many trick-or-treaters, which was a little sad. A combination of an older neighborhood and our immediate neighbors with porch lights off. It was ok though.
When the boys got home they ate a few pieces of candy and then it was time for bed!
I actually kept the boys home from school the next day. Brigham was up part of the night with a croupy cough, and I was exhausted, so I just decided to scrap it.
Ok, off we go to dinner at the Bradfords! I'll update on more later.


The trick-or-treaters!! So excited.



Pineapple jack-o-lantern. Tried to put his "hair" on, but the candle kept going out. Pretty scary, huh? :-)



With flash.



Watermelon Jack-o-lantern. I kind of like the bloody glow.




With flash.



Here is Mosey's gourd I cut into a jack-o-lantern "with cat eyes" per Mosey's request. I got some of the juice of this gourd on my hands and it is the bitterest thing EVER. These are definitely not to eat.



With flash.

Left side of front porch with our skeleton and the green and white pumpkins Ben got.



Right side of the porch with our giant plastic pumpkin, and the chair where I sat giving out candy. And our witch of course!


The whole front porch. I'm not sure why I'm sharing these porch pictures. Not very interesting!

Finished L family pics

I have to share a few more favorites! Mostly black and whites


L, I don't think I could pick a favorite of the photos of you, but this is certainly among my favorites.



Yes, C really is as adorable as he looks in these photos. Personality too.



I just LOVE this one.




K, I know you don't like your individual portraits, but you'll just have to take my objective, non-biased word for it-- you are beautiful. I always hate photos of myself, too, though, so I can relate to your feelings. Why do you think I like being *behind* the camera so much?



K, you were the best sport ever about taking pictures, something to which it seems like most men are highly allergic. And you look like maybe you were having an ok time, too.



I think L looks like a model here. Look at those eyes!! Sometimes I really like the non-smiling pictures.



C, you are soooo cute!!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Spinal Progressive MS

I know lots of you were thinking and praying and fasting for me today and I thank all of you so much. It helps me so much to know of everyone who is supporting me.
I met with my neurologist today and he confirmed what I had already been suspecting, which is that I don't seem to have the "normal" recurring-remitting MS (not that any form of MS is normal), but that I most likely have the primary progressive form, what he calls "spinal progressive," since it involves mainly the spinal cord. There are a variety of reasons this seems to be the correct diagnosis. I had pretty much come to it on my own through research I have done, so it wasn't a bolt out of the blue, which is a good thing.
So the question now is what treatment to pursue. There are a few options to me, a couple of possible drug therapies, perhaps participating in some clinical trials. My neurologist will be consulting with some neurologists in Dallas and Houston to determine wha the best course of action will be. This is the rarest form of MS so there is a lot that is unknown about what treatments may or may not be helpful in my case.
It was a difficult appointment to sit through. It's hard to hear that this disease *will* put me in a wheelchair within a few years. It's hard to hear that the only two drug therapies currently used for this form of MS are chemotherapy drugs-- Novantrone and Cytoxan, one which may not cause me to lose my hair, but which does cause cardiotoxicity and can't be continued longer than a couple of years, and the other which *will* cause me to lose my hair and give me nausea, mouth sores, and all those other fun chemotherapy side effects. I'm hoping there will be some promising clinical trials.
But I did get a prescription for some antispasticity medication which will make it easier for me to walk, at least for the short term.
I am really, really glad that I found this doctor. He talked with us for more than an hour. I trust him and I know he will do his best to come up with some good options for me. He is so much better than the doctors I had in Miami. I don't know how this whole process would go if we were still out there.
I am doing ok. This wasn't unexpected. It feels a little unreal, but I'm sure that's normal. I don't know how Ben is taking it, I hope ok. He put up a strong front for me at least. I'm sure it is not easy for him to know that he will be taking care of a disabled wife for the next 50 years.
I am sad for what this means for what I hoped I could do and be as a mother and wife. I will have to revise some things, that is certain.
But at the same time I know how fortunate I am. I have a husband who makes a good living and allows me to be home with my kids. I don't know how I could do this if I had to work outside the home. I have 3 perfect children. We have medical insurance which will pay for my treatments. I have a disease which is not terminal. Many, many people live fulfilling, wonderful lives in a wheelchair. I have the best support structure I could hope for.
And I have a month to mull things over, do some research, pray, and get a feel for the direction we should go from here. It's nice not to have to make any major decisions right this very second!
I know some of you out there tend to worry a lot. Please don't! Worrying won't change anything. Everything will be ok. I am ok and we will all adjust!